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Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....

 
cry me a handful
User ID: 27780868
United States
12/01/2012 12:43 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
Feeling sorry for yourself over losing a job and a woman? Wanting your life to end over that?

Dude...I lost my 24 year old fiance to cancer 12 years ago and she would have given "anything" to have your dull, pathetic life!

When she was suffocating for the last week of her life from that cancer, she would have gladly traded it for a chance to work again, to look for a new job and who knows..maybe a new love..but she would have given everything to have what life you have now.

There are tons of people out there that are in the same way. Dying as I type this and as you make your response...get you ass up out of bed and do something about your life. I dont have the best life either but I get up everyday and try to live under the notion that "today could be the day!".....the day for what? Success? Failure? Death? Life? Who knows? but you gotta get out of that mind frame!
Debauchery

User ID: 15455863
United States
12/01/2012 12:45 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
So you have a roof over your head, too much food to eat and two people that love you and are willing to help you out.

So sad. Rough life you got there.

There are people that have no one, no home, are freezing half to death day and night living out in the cold, they're starving..no food for them, no clean clothes, no showers.

Oh yeah, there are people suffering through debilitating diseases, people that are terminally ill and you're bitching about not getting pussy for a year?

Your pity party is bullshit. Life is what you make of it. Stop gobbling the food like there's no tomorrow, lose some weight, find a job and move out. It's not as horrific as you make it all out to be.

Next time you are feeling sorry for yourself think about what I just said..about starving, homeless people, about those that are deathly ill, about those that have NO ONE.
 Quoting: Debauchery


You are right. I explained all of this.
It's not a pity party. It's just an explanation of the junction where I find myself to be.
And it's therapeutic to write it all down, since I was too afraid to admit all of these things to myself. Admitting them to strangers takes off the edge.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22788475


A little tough love might help you. :)

Life sucks right now, I get that, most of us have been there BUT it is going to get better. Like I said, you at least have a couple of loving people in your corner, that is the best thing you have going for you, it's the one thing that can make all the difference.

Aside from your weight issue I'm going to assume you're healthy, the job situation, depending on what you do, can be a little tricky right now but it's not a lost cause. The lack of companionship..might be a good thing right now. You need time to get yourself together, get stable again, get out of the depression before you involve someone else in your life.

You're going to be fine. Just remember, it could be worse. I think that's a great thing to think about whenever you feel like your life is shit. You're not in so deep that you can't get out of it. Don't be ashamed, humiliated, don't think you're less of a person because you're in a place where you have to lean on others. You're not alone in that.

Chin up.
And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen.
Aunty Flo

User ID: 28166646
Australia
12/01/2012 12:49 AM

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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
We all got problems, some less, some worse. A woman on here not long ago announced she had cancer, and she's was forgoing treatment.

We all got problems.

And for your info, what I'm going through is about 5x worse than what you are going through. But while my family still have their health, I know it's shit we'll recover from.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22788475
Canada
12/01/2012 12:49 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
Feeling sorry for yourself over losing a job and a woman? Wanting your life to end over that?

Dude...I lost my 24 year old fiance to cancer 12 years ago and she would have given "anything" to have your dull, pathetic life!

When she was suffocating for the last week of her life from that cancer, she would have gladly traded it for a chance to work again, to look for a new job and who knows..maybe a new love..but she would have given everything to have what life you have now.

There are tons of people out there that are in the same way. Dying as I type this and as you make your response...get you ass up out of bed and do something about your life. I dont have the best life either but I get up everyday and try to live under the notion that "today could be the day!".....the day for what? Success? Failure? Death? Life? Who knows? but you gotta get out of that mind frame!
 Quoting: cry me a handful 27780868


I am sorry for your painful experience. It must have been truly awful. There is nothing I can say to you other than, you are right.
I do not mean to sound horrible but sometimes the pain of depression comes from a place where you literally want to die. It does not come from a rational place. It does come from a logical place. There is no "mind over matter". You want to die, and in fact, as I have said, when the Black Cloud is at its darkest and lowest, hovering over you, you really truly wish for death. If you have never suffered true, deep, dark depression before you cannot know how it feels. Nor can I never know the pain and suffering of your fiance. I am not trying to make a comparison between the two, just a juxtaposition.
yankeemofo

User ID: 18296310
United States
12/01/2012 12:49 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
Feeling sorry for yourself over losing a job and a woman? Wanting your life to end over that?

Dude...I lost my 24 year old fiance to cancer 12 years ago and she would have given "anything" to have your dull, pathetic life!

When she was suffocating for the last week of her life from that cancer, she would have gladly traded it for a chance to work again, to look for a new job and who knows..maybe a new love..but she would have given everything to have what life you have now.

There are tons of people out there that are in the same way. Dying as I type this and as you make your response...get you ass up out of bed and do something about your life. I dont have the best life either but I get up everyday and try to live under the notion that "today could be the day!".....the day for what? Success? Failure? Death? Life? Who knows? but you gotta get out of that mind frame!
 Quoting: cry me a handful 27780868


Easy now! I'm all for tough love, but making someone feel worse about their terrible situation(perceived or real) isn't a solution.

Instead tell us, how did you deal with your loss to move forward with your life? I can't imagine the pain you felt and probably still feel.
Meet the new boss; same as the old boss.

Trust in those that seek the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22788475
Canada
12/01/2012 12:50 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
We all got problems, some less, some worse. A woman on here not long ago announced she had cancer, and she's was forgoing treatment.

We all got problems.

And for your info, what I'm going through is about 5x worse than what you are going through. But while my family still have their health, I know it's shit we'll recover from.
 Quoting: Aunty Flo


I believe you and I will be here most of the night if you want to talk about it....commisserate?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12966144
United States
12/01/2012 12:53 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
My prayer is that you be restored, in Jesus' mighty name. Peace and blessings to you.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22788475
Canada
12/01/2012 12:58 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
Part of the reason I never go out is because I live in a fairly small town. When I first came back I bumped into many people from highschool, who couldnt hide their shock at my state-overweight, probably horribly tired looking, wearing ill fitting clothes and in, well, shambles...and then, the icing on the cake, explaining without lying why you are here. At first I told people the truth until I realized that it was actually shocking to them how low I have fallen and what, mess, quite frankly, I had made out of what seemed like a promising beginning.
I was at a pub one night this summer, one of the only times I took it upon myself to be brave and "go out and have a good time".
It all came crashing down when I walked by a group of girls from my old HS, who stayed and married locals.... who I didn't know well-but they knew me..as I turned the corner into the bathroom I overhead one of them say "Oh My God, was that (me)...oh my god he is a disaster..." and then some somewhat derisive laughter. I know at 37 I should be over these kind of things but it was a setback. To realize what I thought of myself, others actually thought as well when they thought I wasn't listening.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22788475
Canada
12/01/2012 12:59 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
My prayer is that you be restored, in Jesus' mighty name. Peace and blessings to you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12966144


Thank you, God Bless you for your kindness.

I am not dying but as I've said the pain of depression makes you feel like you want to die...believe it or not it really can be that staggering.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12966144
United States
12/01/2012 01:03 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
My prayer is that you be restored, in Jesus' mighty name. Peace and blessings to you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12966144


Thank you, God Bless you for your kindness.

I am not dying but as I've said the pain of depression makes you feel like you want to die...believe it or not it really can be that staggering.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22788475


I know it quite well. I just prayed for you and felt power leaving my body. I KNOW you will be restored. Remember, when you are, to give glory to Jesus Christ who has done this for you, my friend. Much love to you.
Aunty Flo

User ID: 28166646
Australia
12/01/2012 01:03 AM

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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
We all got problems, some less, some worse. A woman on here not long ago announced she had cancer, and she's was forgoing treatment.

We all got problems.

And for your info, what I'm going through is about 5x worse than what you are going through. But while my family still have their health, I know it's shit we'll recover from.
 Quoting: Aunty Flo


I believe you and I will be here most of the night if you want to talk about it....commisserate?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22788475


No thankyou. I deal with in a way where I can potentially control the outcome. Commiserating is just dwelling on the shit, it'll boggle you down and depress you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20566260
United States
12/01/2012 08:14 PM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
:loveadvice:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22788475
Canada
12/03/2012 02:19 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
:loveadvice:
 Quoting: J-Honey


yes
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 22788475
Canada
12/03/2012 02:19 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
We all got problems, some less, some worse. A woman on here not long ago announced she had cancer, and she's was forgoing treatment.

We all got problems.

And for your info, what I'm going through is about 5x worse than what you are going through. But while my family still have their health, I know it's shit we'll recover from.
 Quoting: Aunty Flo


I believe you and I will be here most of the night if you want to talk about it....commisserate?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22788475


No thankyou. I deal with in a way where I can potentially control the outcome. Commiserating is just dwelling on the shit, it'll boggle you down and depress you.
 Quoting: Aunty Flo


fair enough
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26164356
United States
12/03/2012 03:03 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
If you pray to God to Kill you in your sleep, you can pray to God to show you the way.

REmember the scene in "It's a Wonderful Life" when George Bailey is
on the bridge and says" Lord, I'm not a praying man, but show me the way"

That is what you need to do.

God SURROUNDS YOU!
LOVE SURROUNDS YOU!

You just need to ask God to show you that he is there.

THEN, you have to rebuild your life brick by brick.

It can be done.
Make a plan.
Good luck
Generation Doom

User ID: 20816248
United States
12/03/2012 03:13 AM

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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
We all have our problems OP. I'm worse off than you in some ways.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17584550
United States
12/03/2012 04:47 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
Depression in a disease and it can be a killer. chemical imbalance going on in the brain. Certain neurons are not firing correctly leading to depression. Depression can spiral to dark places making the victim do awful things like kill others or themselves. The fact that you pray for death is a strong indicator that your seratonin (and other) reuptake transmitters are not working correctly. Strong exercise works wonders (endorphins) but the enormous step of starting is like jumping off a cliff. Try to talk to a Dr. or someone at the dept of health services.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27615012
United Kingdom
12/03/2012 05:42 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
Imagine you were me.....

I am 37. I was married for 4 years.
Lost my job in January.
My wife left me 2 weeks later.
Living with my parents again after 20 years.
About 100 lbs overweight.
Deeply depressed. No sex for almost a year, no prospects of any female companionship. Even if I wanted to hire a prostitute I couldn't afford it. I am in love with a woman who has no idea and I am too cowardly to tell her. I am suffering from what experts call "limerence".
Everyday before I go to sleep I pray to God to kill me in my sleep.
I would do it myself but it would break my parents hearts and they are genuinely good people.
I have a brother who has has schizoid personality disorder, so I hide my depression from my parents as best I can so they don't have to stress about me as well.

In my old life, when I was a young man, and full of piss and vinegar, I was a writer with a small modicum of success. I have had writers block for almost 15 years. The few friends I have, most of whom I hear from once every 3 months with a short "hello" on facebook, think I am writing a novel. I start it every week and the farthest along I've gotten was the second paragraph.

I haven't left my house in 6 days.

Next time you think you're life is going badly, be thankful you weren't incarnated into my existence. I know there are others that have it as bad or worse off than me. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22788475


You could write about a guy that finds this link in todays news, and starts to put his life back together.
By the time he gets half way through the book he finds the courage to tell the heroin how he feels about her and they maybe finish the book together?
Hoe many paragraphs do you see above?
Its in there waiting for an outlet if you allow it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27615012
United Kingdom
12/03/2012 05:43 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
[link to www.nytimes.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28979872
Canada
12/03/2012 05:45 AM
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Re: Next Time you are Feeling Sorry for Yourself....
Well thank you for your honesty OP and I'm sorry to hear of your sadness and troubles. Life is very hard for some, I can attest to this. But there is always hope. If it wasn't for God, I doubt I would have made it this far. God bless you.
 Quoting: TheSeventhGate


Thank you for your kind words. I wonder why God has to test those of us who suffer. All it does it make us spite it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22788475


Just as gold becomes more brilliant after being refined in fire, we too must be refined to become brilliant lights, stronger and brighter. Suffering humbles us, it teaches us and it strengthens us to help others who will go through this same suffering.

And never allow yourself to become spiteful. We have free will and make our own choices; when you're ready, God is there waiting to attend to you.

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