Op it gets better trust me. I was in a similar situation minus the wife taking off and just this week after months of stress and depression the light has come! The mountain was so big and we have made it through the storm with little hope. I actually can't believe it and I'm still trying to accept it! If you really have the feelings of wanting to die you should really tell someone though. I had the same feelings but never would go through with it either because of the others in my life. It's the most selfish thing anyone can do and what happens after? Hang in there and get out and try to associate with others even though you may not want to. Get a job even if the pay is poor just to get out and back into life interacting with others. You can do it!