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Message Subject What do you think your last thought will be right before you die?
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
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Hi, I "died" about 20 years ago and somehow (defibrillator)they got things ticking again. I remember very clearly my feelings and thoughts.

Mainly, there was fear and disbelief. The disbelief thing was a repeated thought that felt (there were no words really, just feelings/experiences) like this:

"It's happening...it's finally really happening...I can't control this...I can't believe this...I'm so afraid."

That is kind of "the track" that was playing in my soul. It's a realization that the buck is up, and it's finally here. You have known this moment would come your whole life and yet somehow you are totally unprepared for it.

I found it shocking how painful it was to dis-attach from my physical body. Painful in every ways. Sobs like you could never imagine wracking your essence. The fear is numbing, because you are letting go into nothing. It's like dropping something very precious and valuable down the drain. That feeling of loss and panic. It was truly, truly overwhelming. I wish I could impart to you the enormousness of these feelings. I had some form of PTSD for years after this happened.

At the same time, there was a struggling sense of acceptance and almost relief. mixed in with the fear and the pain of letting go. And the disbelief. Very emotional experience and quite the struggle. You see how animals struggle when they die? That physical struggle is 1000X deeper inside. Wait til you get there, you will be in that state of disbelief like you've never experienced before.

Now, recently I had to go to the hospital because of heart attack symptoms. I remember the nurse coming in and saying, we do think you're having a heart attack. I remember that "This is it," thought process kicking in but less of a panicked feeling. I think I have/am accepted death. But I guess we shall see when the time comes again. It really is a grueling and difficult process. Good luck.
 
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