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im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.

 
tmorjh
User ID: 28912403
United States
12/02/2012 08:52 PM
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im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
anyways went to the store today smart n final , and thats the last time well i was smart on the good deals but this is my final time shopping. anyways had to go woo hoo no. two and the mens rm. was closed for clean up so i ran in used the ladies rm. and since ive been home im a itching.

if i have crabs ? what does it look like

how to get tid of them ?

do they spread ?

and to top this off tommorrow is me and my wifes honeymoon and crap i just shaved myself about an hour ago.. im freaking now what oh god help me what do i say
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28688993
Malaysia
12/02/2012 08:57 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Paraffin. Don't get any down your Jap's eye though, stings like fuck!
tmorjh (OP)
User ID: 28912403
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12/02/2012 09:02 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
oh come on plz what is that ?? you mean selsom blue stuff, oh god im just an itching, and heres the deal shall i wash my clothes thourough and or throw away cause were going out for a dinner reception that happens to be the suit she bought me and i was wearing it to go to the store its a huge store for bulk food items
Paraffin. Don't get any down your Jap's eye though, stings like fuck!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28688993
THERADIOMAN

User ID: 25152792
United States
12/02/2012 09:03 PM

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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
crabs are lice. you will see them if you look close. probly not that. highly unlikely you catch an std on a toilet seat.did you rub your junk all over the seat? lol. probly some cleaning solution causing a reaction.
All the worlds a stage we are merely players, performers and portrayers
Mister ObviousModerator
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12/02/2012 09:05 PM

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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
LMFAOOOOOOLOLOLOLOL.



EPICSAUCE.
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Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
12/02/2012 09:06 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Use sugar.

Doesn't kill the fuckers but it rots their teeth.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28688993
Malaysia
12/02/2012 09:08 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
oh come on plz what is that ?? you mean selsom blue stuff, oh god im just an itching, and heres the deal shall i wash my clothes thourough and or throw away cause were going out for a dinner reception that happens to be the suit she bought me and i was wearing it to go to the store its a huge store for bulk food items
Paraffin. Don't get any down your Jap's eye though, stings like fuck!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28688993

 Quoting: tmorjh 28912403


It worked when I was a soldier! BTW, crabs take a few days to manifest, you don't really notice them until their eggs hatch and you start to get infected. Same with scabies.

I think the other poster has the answer, allergic reaction.
Anonymous Coward
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12/02/2012 09:09 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
:predicament:
tmorjh (OP)
User ID: 28912403
United States
12/02/2012 09:09 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
im trying to hurry, u asked did i rub my junk all over the seat? i assume you me my privates well no but had to squate cause i have irratable bowel symdrom, and once i got hoe about 20 min later on the rode felt like i was getting bit below the hairline so i shaved my self and the wife sees that .. what do i say ?? my neighbour said if i call the health dept. word will get around u know gossip , i oive ina senior park how wonderful this is; she will be home in two hours crap
crabs are lice. you will see them if you look close. probly not that. highly unlikely you catch an std on a toilet seat.did you rub your junk all over the seat? lol. probly some cleaning solution causing a reaction.
 Quoting: THERADIOMAN
THERADIOMAN

User ID: 25152792
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12/02/2012 09:12 PM

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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
LMFAOOOOOOLOLOLOLOL.



EPICSAUCE.
 Quoting: Mister Obvious



You said it Mr.O!
Habernaro or Ghost pepper sauce. The solution may hurt worse than the problem but them suckers will be gone!!! OUCH!!!!!!!!
All the worlds a stage we are merely players, performers and portrayers
Anonymous Coward
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12/02/2012 09:13 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
You wouldn't happen to be this guy would u

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26178459
United States
12/02/2012 09:14 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Pour melted butter on them.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/02/2012 09:15 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
They breath through their skin I do believe so you might be able to smear petroleum jelly all over down there. It might take a few days.
tmorjh (OP)
User ID: 28912403
United States
12/02/2012 09:19 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
u r just so wonderful ac ty ty u r a riot anyways yes feels like teeth from paraniohs , this is not funny
Use sugar.

Doesn't kill the fuckers but it rots their teeth.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25509060
THERADIOMAN

User ID: 25152792
United States
12/02/2012 09:19 PM

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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
it is not crabs. it takes 2 or 3 days to cause itching. google it. all sites say the same thing. sorry for your pain... i feel for ya..
All the worlds a stage we are merely players, performers and portrayers
Old MacDonald

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Canada
12/02/2012 09:24 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
banana111
In a Time of Universal Deceit, Telling the Truth is a Revolutionary Act - George Orwell

Rachel Maddow is HOT!!! - Seriously I'd hit it.

A VOTE FOR JUSTIN TRUDEAU IN 2015, WOULD BE THE MOST COWARDLY & IRRESPONSIBLE THING A CANADIAN CITIZEN COULD DO TO THEIR OWN PEOPLE. GUN GRABBERS ARE THE COMMON ENEMY OF ALL PEOPLE.

GUN CONTROL HAS RESULTED IN THE SLAUGHTER OF 262 MILLION CITIZENS BY THEIR GOVERNMENTS OVER THE PAST 100 YEARS.

THE LIBERAL PARTY OF CANADA & THE NDP ENDORSE GUN CONTROL, AN ESSENTIAL POLICY OF HITLER, STALIN, MAO, POL POT, EDI AMIN, QADDAFI, SADDAM, ASSAD, & EVERY OTHER TYRANNICAL GOVERNMENT THIS PAST CENTURY.

CANADIANS MUST NEVER FORGET THE BETRAYAL OF BILLS C-68 & C-17. WE MUST NOT REST UNTIL THEY ARE FULLY REPEALED.

C-19 WAS A GOOD START......BUT JUST A START. GET OFF YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES AND MAKE AN IMPACT. WE HAVE 26 MONTHS.

I, THEE BOB, SWEAR ON THE ALTER OF GOD TO FIGHT ALL FORMS OF CANADIAN TYRANNY AND SAVE MY COUNTRY FROM THE EVILS OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER. I WILL NEVER HAND IN MY GUNS. EVER. I AM A FREE MAN, I WILL NOT BE THE BITCH OF THE SOCIALIST ESTABLISHMENT. LEAVE ME ALONE.
Anonymous Coward
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12/02/2012 09:24 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
OP,

If you have crabs, you've had them for at least a week.

The itching usually begins after a crab lays eggs and the eggs hatch, and you have several or many crabs.

It's unlikely you got them from a toilet seat.

If you have not cheated on your wife, then your wife has probably cheated on you.

Have you, or your wife, slept at a hotel or in someone else's bed? Worn someone else's underwear? Used someone else's towels?

All things that come into contact with areas of the body that have hair, need to be cleaned,
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27703327
United States
12/02/2012 09:25 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Like the other poster said hot pepper sauce is the cure. Bengay also works. Just to make sure be sure to stream the video so we can um make sure it works.
tmorjh (OP)
User ID: 28912403
United States
12/02/2012 09:27 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
no honey im 62 yr old felow and caught some kind o a critter bug bug from a toilet use im white 6 ft ty
You wouldn't happen to be this guy would u

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: J-Honey
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 252372
United States
12/02/2012 09:42 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
no honey im 62 yr old felow and caught some kind o a critter bug bug from a toilet use im white 6 ft ty
You wouldn't happen to be this guy would u

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: J-Honey

 Quoting: tmorjh 28912403


Maybe you are developing SHINGLES.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28815445
United States
12/02/2012 09:54 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
quick set your crotch on fire
Anonymous Coward
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12/02/2012 10:15 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Seriously, My sister had them in high school, up pclose they look like teeny tiny crabs, NOT lice!

She trimmed her hair and shampooed herself with dog brand, Hartz, flea and tick shampoo 3 times each time spending 15 minutes to let it set in good.

She completely got rid of them.

I have seen this cure head lice too.

You should be able to wash your clothes in very hot water with some of the dog shampoo to, the dryer should finish them off.


You know you can't really get crabs from toilet seats.
You have to be warm to warm flesh, crabs won't go to a toilet seat and if they did the cold would kill them.

So, either you've been cheating or your girlfriend or boyfriend has been cheating or maybe even your Mrs.

Somebody has had their junk near some stranger at some time.
MuzzleBreak

User ID: 28955530
United States
12/02/2012 10:20 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Little black dots in pubic area.

Try some dog flea-shampoo.
In his book, "Between Two Ages," Brzezinski wrote: "The technetronic era involves the gradual appearance of a more controlled society. Such a society would be dominated by an elite, unrestrained by traditional values."

MuzzleBreak
Chris12138

User ID: 28445975
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12/02/2012 10:33 PM

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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
misdoubt
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/02/2012 10:39 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
no honey im 62 yr old felow and caught some kind o a critter bug bug from a toilet use im white 6 ft ty
You wouldn't happen to be this guy would u

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: J-Honey

 Quoting: tmorjh 28912403


Maybe you are developing SHINGLES.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 252372


It's not shingles lol. Shingles doesn't start with an itch. Your skin will be extremely sore for about a week, then the rash appears and is such an INTENSE pain. When I had shingles I had thousands of tiny puss filled blisters on the right side of my abdomen and back.

Most painful experience of my life lol.

Just tell your wife what happened though...It's not that hard
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
12/02/2012 10:43 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Its scabies you can get it from a toilet seat
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
12/02/2012 10:44 PM

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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
no honey im 62 yr old felow and caught some kind o a critter bug bug from a toilet use im white 6 ft ty
You wouldn't happen to be this guy would u

[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]
 Quoting: J-Honey

 Quoting: tmorjh 28912403


62 eh? Could be a case of senioritis. hmm

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
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12/02/2012 10:45 PM

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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Its scabies you can get it from a toilet seat
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


What if you employ the toilet paper defense on the toilet seat?

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
tmorjh
User ID: 28963754
United States
12/02/2012 11:11 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
im in the er room ? got seen already before i get some sorts of creme dr. says its my psyhoris that has spreaded, ty all so much folks what a releif no crab s no lice and yes we hadnt cheated on another its my skin issues that spreaded to mt gentiles
Its scabies you can get it from a toilet seat
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28378701


What if you employ the toilet paper defense on the toilet seat?
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28807856
United States
12/02/2012 11:16 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Better put some water on that shit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20566260
United States
12/02/2012 11:18 PM
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Re: im male and may a have crabs, was told that plz dont call the health dept.
Better put some water on that shit.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28807856


:bigchuckle:


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