Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,617 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 1,321,382
Pageviews Today: 1,748,496Threads Today: 350Posts Today: 6,177
12:31 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?

 
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:18 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
...


That which doesn't kill you...


------
 Quoting: BOWMAN


I don't think he's necessarily talking about germs.

Just the thought of me putting my hand where somebody just sneezed in their hand and then pushed the cart with it, makes me a little nauseous.

Or enter any other disgusting things that humans do without thinking. Picking their nose, scratching their nasty, sweaty ass, etc.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


Consider this: one of 5 guys you meet has masterbated since they last washed thier hands.....

(note: don't be that guy...please)

cheers
 Quoting: Maguyver


Purchasing rubber gloves for my loved ones for christmas and attaching a print out of this thread. Thanks for the gift idea...and the willies. *shudder*
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


I'm waiting to be accused of shilling hand sanitizer propaganda.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28871789
United States
12/03/2012 04:18 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Why? WHY are there so many bum carts??

Are there people who deliberatly whack them out?

Hmm.Umhumm. Yes. They are probably the employees. Have to take out their aggression someplace.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1439176


it is expensive to rehab them like 100 per cart or replace them at like 350 a cart
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:19 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Why? WHY are there so many bum carts??

Are there people who deliberatly whack them out?

Hmm.Umhumm. Yes. They are probably the employees. Have to take out their aggression someplace.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1439176


it is expensive to rehab them like 100 per cart or replace them at like 350 a cart
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28871789


They can pay me 100 bucks per cart all day long.

WOOT!
Shamar

User ID: 24946868
United States
12/03/2012 04:23 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
It's your cross to bear in this life apparently OP.

I've heard of worse.

Still, it IS annoying. I'll say a prayer for you.yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


And to top it off...a new cashier will open up at the EXACT moment that it's too late for you to get out of line.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


Indeed.


I happen to be a great red-light magnet as well!!hf
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. You can feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. What is God? The Eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life. What is love? To feel the presence of that One Life deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it. Therefore, all love is the love of God.

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die - and find that there is no death.
HI.Lander

User ID: 28896397
United States
12/03/2012 04:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
It's your cross to bear in this life apparently OP.

I've heard of worse.

Still, it IS annoying. I'll say a prayer for you.yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -- Marcus Aurelius

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18241510
United States
12/03/2012 04:28 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I like having a loudass cart at the store, that way motherfuckers know I'm coming and they're gonna stay the fuck out of my way.
 Quoting: Mister Obvious


Same here! I never put them back... Sometimes I will put something heavy on the side that is the loudest so it rubs more. 5a
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:28 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
It's your cross to bear in this life apparently OP.

I've heard of worse.

Still, it IS annoying. I'll say a prayer for you.yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


And to top it off...a new cashier will open up at the EXACT moment that it's too late for you to get out of line.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


Indeed.


I happen to be a great red-light magnet as well!!hf
 Quoting: Shamar


I go out of my way two miles just to avoid the lights. lol

I knew I would find my twin flame on GLP!!

drinks ura snogging
Seer777
Ride the wings of the mind

User ID: 3018467
United States
12/03/2012 04:29 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


tounge



Teaches patience...and to laugh at oneSelf.

PisforPatience

:)
Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body...
~Seneca
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
It's your cross to bear in this life apparently OP.

I've heard of worse.

Still, it IS annoying. I'll say a prayer for you.yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


It's always some fucking ass that has 5 dollars in his pocket and 50 dollars worth of groceries.

"How much is that? You can take that back. How much is that?"

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!

ugh
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:32 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


tounge



Teaches patience...and to laugh at oneSelf.

:PisforPatience:

:)
 Quoting: Seer777


Oh it's no surprise when this happens. It's gotten to the point now that I can look like a REAL badass and call it before it happens.

"Watch this.." lol
Seer777
Ride the wings of the mind

User ID: 3018467
United States
12/03/2012 04:33 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Teaches patience...and to laugh at oneSelf.

PisforPatience

:)
 Quoting: Seer777


Oh it's no surprise when this happens. It's gotten to the point now that I can look like a REAL badass and call it before it happens.

"Watch this.." lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


Exactly...

wink


:)
Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body...
~Seneca
Shamar

User ID: 24946868
United States
12/03/2012 04:35 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


tounge



Teaches patience...and to laugh at oneSelf.

PisforPatience

:)
 Quoting: Seer777


Oh it's no surprise when this happens. It's gotten to the point now that I can look like a REAL badass and call it before it happens.

"Watch this.." lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


bbwwwwahhhahahhaa!! we are twins!! lol ~ i do the same exact thing!!!tounge
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. You can feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. What is God? The Eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life. What is love? To feel the presence of that One Life deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it. Therefore, all love is the love of God.

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die - and find that there is no death.
HI.Lander

User ID: 28896397
United States
12/03/2012 04:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
tounge



Teaches patience...and to laugh at oneSelf.

PisforPatience

:)
 Quoting: Seer777


:)

I do laugh about it now because it's so friggin' uncanny how it happens to me so often.
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -- Marcus Aurelius

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:38 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
...


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


tounge



Teaches patience...and to laugh at oneSelf.

:PisforPatience:

:)
 Quoting: Seer777


Oh it's no surprise when this happens. It's gotten to the point now that I can look like a REAL badass and call it before it happens.

"Watch this.." lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


bbwwwwahhhahahhaa!! we are twins!! lol ~ i do the same exact thing!!!tounge
 Quoting: Shamar


I knew it.
ar-15 nut

User ID: 1281306
United States
12/03/2012 04:43 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
It's your cross to bear in this life apparently OP.

I've heard of worse.

Still, it IS annoying. I'll say a prayer for you.yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10783814


I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


It's always some fucking ass that has 5 dollars in his pocket and 50 dollars worth of groceries.

"How much is that? You can take that back. How much is that?"

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!

ugh
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


Or someone ringing up 3 seperate transactions with ebt cards and the last one paying by checkgaah
A pissed off American veteran!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:44 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
...


I ALWAYS get in the wrong line......guaranteed, every time. Doesn't matter which one I pick, it's the one that will get stopped for one reason or another.
 Quoting: Shamar


LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


It's always some fucking ass that has 5 dollars in his pocket and 50 dollars worth of groceries.

"How much is that? You can take that back. How much is that?"

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!

ugh
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


Or someone ringing up 3 seperate transactions with ebt cards and the last one paying by checkgaah
 Quoting: ar-15 nut


And one with nickles.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:49 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
True story.

I was at Dollar General picking up a couple things and when I got to the checkout lane there was an old man standing there with 9 bottles of shampoo.

What I didn't realize was that this guy was the runner for a group of 9 old people that all needed shampoo and obviously all wanted their receipts too.

A buck a bottle and this guy was paying for them individually as separate ring ups from separate envelopes of various forms of change.

15 minutes...no shit.

gaah ahhh
heavenlyalchemy
User ID: 21473005
United States
12/03/2012 04:49 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Isn't it the truth! Even when I kind of test the cart out and things seem fine. When I'm in the middle of the store and things get clicking along, the cart starts locking up or wobbling or something kookie, and there are already too many things in the cart and I'm too far away from the cart stand, or I'm too stubborn to go back. Friggin' carts! Arrruuuugggh.
Kirk

User ID: 25384388
United States
12/03/2012 04:53 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Two weeks ago I checked the cart first to make sure all the wheels were good, then halfway through shopping one of the wheels decided to stop spinning. I felt like a retard from there on out. Turning down an aisle required sliding the back end and sometimes just going straight, it would veer off to the left and almost always do that when another person was passing by, so it would go into their cart and I'd have to apologize like a d-bag.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1465586


In the old days you handed the grocer your shopping list and they boxed it on the counter for you. Then came supermarkets and you have to push this mother cart but you don't mind because you get low, low prices. Then your old grocer goes out of business and the super can raise its prices - but you are still pushing the mother cart.
Can't get ahead in a society that values money above all else.
Worry is a misuse of the imagination.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26997426
United States
12/03/2012 04:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Wrong line wizard here. Never fails, whether it's coupon grandma, the this was on the closeout shelf kewn, or the clueless mom whose brats have thrown a bunch of shit in the cart and the dumb cunt doesnt notice until its been rung. Seen em all. Heres my secret. Just start making the helicopter sound with you lips every time you exhale. Do it faster and louder until someone says can I help you sir? Then just back your fuckin ass out of the line and say ya I need to get some of this stuff to go. Then when they are checking you out act like you dont even remember what the fuck they are talking about. Next couple of time you go to that store someone will be ready to check you out guaranteed. I'm folding up a $100.00 in my wallet right now - next motherfucker that I see in the grocery line making the helicopter sound gets the 100 clams! Honestly! Then we'll have to shop in different places though or they might catch on. Be worth it though.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 04:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Two weeks ago I checked the cart first to make sure all the wheels were good, then halfway through shopping one of the wheels decided to stop spinning. I felt like a retard from there on out. Turning down an aisle required sliding the back end and sometimes just going straight, it would veer off to the left and almost always do that when another person was passing by, so it would go into their cart and I'd have to apologize like a d-bag.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1465586


In the old days you handed the grocer your shopping list and they boxed it on the counter for you. Then came supermarkets and you have to push this mother cart but you don't mind because you get low, low prices. Then your old grocer goes out of business and the super can raise its prices - but you are still pushing the mother cart.
Can't get ahead in a society that values money above all else.
 Quoting: Kirk


Let's try to keep the terminology straight, please. lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1465586
United States
12/03/2012 05:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I always chuckle when crossing paths with someone dealt the "asshole cart". Sometimes you can hear them coming -- that wheel is spinning wildly every which way, whistling and chirping, and that poor sucker pushing it has this sheepish look on their face like they want to just crawl under a shelf, knowing that the cart, for that moment, is a direct reflection of them. Priceless!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 05:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Wrong line wizard here. Never fails, whether it's coupon grandma, the this was on the closeout shelf kewn, or the clueless mom whose brats have thrown a bunch of shit in the cart and the dumb cunt doesnt notice until its been rung. Seen em all. Heres my secret. Just start making the helicopter sound with you lips every time you exhale. Do it faster and louder until someone says can I help you sir? Then just back your fuckin ass out of the line and say ya I need to get some of this stuff to go. Then when they are checking you out act like you dont even remember what the fuck they are talking about. Next couple of time you go to that store someone will be ready to check you out guaranteed. I'm folding up a $100.00 in my wallet right now - next motherfucker that I see in the grocery line making the helicopter sound gets the 100 clams! Honestly! Then we'll have to shop in different places though or they might catch on. Be worth it though.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26997426


Fucking HILARIOUS!! cruise cruise
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 05:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I always chuckle when crossing paths with someone dealt the "asshole cart". Sometimes you can hear them coming -- that wheel is spinning wildly every which way, whistling and chirping, and that poor sucker pushing it has this sheepish look on their face like they want to just crawl under a shelf, knowing that the cart, for that moment, is a direct reflection of them. Priceless!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1465586


Fucking HILARITY ensuing in this thread!!

1rof1
Goldi
User ID: 8755634
United States
12/03/2012 05:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
ROFLMAO! This thread is great! Asshole cart!!! Love it!! 5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19976094
United States
12/03/2012 05:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Every fucking time, either a wheel is wobbly or it makes that annoying click every other second.

ugh.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


maybe you should play the lottery
Earth Daughter

User ID: 28948241
United States
12/03/2012 05:03 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I always grab one the carts in the parking lot, never from the front of the store. That way I can give it a test drive to the front door of the store first. If it's bad, I trade it in before I enter the store. It seems like 50% of the carts have something wrong with them.
"Arrows of hate have been shot at me too, but they never hit me, because somehow they belonged to another world, with which I have no connection whatsoever." - Albert Einstein
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 05:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
Every fucking time, either a wheel is wobbly or it makes that annoying click every other second.

ugh.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28996045


maybe you should play the lottery
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19976094


Tried that.

I'm only lucky when it's shit luck.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28996045
United States
12/03/2012 05:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
I always grab one the carts in the parking lot, never from the front of the store. That way I can give it a test drive to the front door of the store first. If it's bad, I trade it in before I enter the store. It seems like 50% of the carts have something wrong with them.
 Quoting: Earth Daughter


I knew something valuable would emerge from this thread!

YES! cool2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20566260
United States
12/03/2012 05:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?
If everyone did what Aldi's does, carts would stay in much better shape.

News








We're dropping truth bombs like it's the end of days!