Why do I ALWAYS get the asshole cart at the grocery store?

I'm waiting to be accused of shilling hand sanitizer propaganda.

it is expensive to rehab them like 100 per cart or replace them at like 350 a cart

They can pay me 100 bucks per cart all day long.

WOOT!

Indeed.


I happen to be a great red-light magnet as well!!

LOL

This is me also... every damn time I pick the slowest line, it never fails.

Same here! I never put them back... Sometimes I will put something heavy on the side that is the loudest so it rubs more.

I go out of my way two miles just to avoid the lights. lol

I knew I would find my twin flame on GLP!!

Teaches patience...and to laugh at oneSelf.



:)

It's always some fucking ass that has 5 dollars in his pocket and 50 dollars worth of groceries.

"How much is that? You can take that back. How much is that?"

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!

ugh

ever gone to dollar tree?
their carts stop functioning 18 inches from the door.
i guess theres a magnet or something in the sidewalk.

Oh it's no surprise when this happens. It's gotten to the point now that I can look like a REAL badass and call it before it happens.

"Watch this.." lol

Exactly...




:)

bbwwwwahhhahahhaa!! we are twins!! lol ~ i do the same exact thing!!!

:)

I do laugh about it now because it's so friggin' uncanny how it happens to me so often.

I knew it.

Or someone ringing up 3 seperate transactions with ebt cards and the last one paying by check

And one with nickles.

True story.

I was at Dollar General picking up a couple things and when I got to the checkout lane there was an old man standing there with 9 bottles of shampoo.

What I didn't realize was that this guy was the runner for a group of 9 old people that all needed shampoo and obviously all wanted their receipts too.

A buck a bottle and this guy was paying for them individually as separate ring ups from separate envelopes of various forms of change.

15 minutes...no shit.

Isn't it the truth! Even when I kind of test the cart out and things seem fine. When I'm in the middle of the store and things get clicking along, the cart starts locking up or wobbling or something kookie, and there are already too many things in the cart and I'm too far away from the cart stand, or I'm too stubborn to go back. Friggin' carts! Arrruuuugggh.

In the old days you handed the grocer your shopping list and they boxed it on the counter for you. Then came supermarkets and you have to push this mother cart but you don't mind because you get low, low prices. Then your old grocer goes out of business and the super can raise its prices - but you are still pushing the mother cart.
Can't get ahead in a society that values money above all else.

Wrong line wizard here. Never fails, whether it's coupon grandma, the this was on the closeout shelf kewn, or the clueless mom whose brats have thrown a bunch of shit in the cart and the dumb cunt doesnt notice until its been rung. Seen em all. Heres my secret. Just start making the helicopter sound with you lips every time you exhale. Do it faster and louder until someone says can I help you sir? Then just back your fuckin ass out of the line and say ya I need to get some of this stuff to go. Then when they are checking you out act like you dont even remember what the fuck they are talking about. Next couple of time you go to that store someone will be ready to check you out guaranteed. I'm folding up a $100.00 in my wallet right now - next motherfucker that I see in the grocery line making the helicopter sound gets the 100 clams! Honestly! Then we'll have to shop in different places though or they might catch on. Be worth it though.

Let's try to keep the terminology straight, please.

I always chuckle when crossing paths with someone dealt the "asshole cart". Sometimes you can hear them coming -- that wheel is spinning wildly every which way, whistling and chirping, and that poor sucker pushing it has this sheepish look on their face like they want to just crawl under a shelf, knowing that the cart, for that moment, is a direct reflection of them. Priceless!

Fucking HILARIOUS!!

Fucking HILARITY ensuing in this thread!!

ROFLMAO! This thread is great! Asshole cart!!! Love it!!

maybe you should play the lottery

I always grab one the carts in the parking lot, never from the front of the store. That way I can give it a test drive to the front door of the store first. If it's bad, I trade it in before I enter the store. It seems like 50% of the carts have something wrong with them.

Tried that.

I'm only lucky when it's shit luck.

I knew something valuable would emerge from this thread!

YES!