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Too much obsession with "relationships"

 
itsamadmadworld
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12/03/2012 07:45 PM
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Too much obsession with "relationships"
There are always posts here about relationships, on and on and on, and when someone today posted about how much she likes men, it got me to wondering . . .

WHY do people spend so much time thinking, obsessing about personal relationships?

Why is it so important for humans to interact consistently with other humans?

There seems to be a desperation amongst most humans who apparently believe their entire life's value is determined by being in a relationship.

When you live, love, learn, and evolve, you understand that heavy-duty emotional relationships are way down on the list of significant life pursuits.

For some, they are removed from the list altogether.


Inherently, males and females cannot live in harmony, there are too many differences and neither gender will EVER fully understand the other. Due to the vast array of emotions involved, they will never be totally happy and fulfilled. Those who say otherwise are only fooling themselves.

Same-sex couples "should" have a greater chance of peaceful harmony, due to an introspective understanding of the gender, but history shows us that same-sex couples are just as likely to be unhappy, dysfunctional, and unfulfilled as heterosexual couples, more so in many ways.

As for sex, it's a distraction. It's baggage. It's emotionally draining and physically dangerous. It's grossly unhygienic. For females, it's degrading in too many ways to count (though few will ever recognize or admit it). It transitions friendships to disasters. It creates unwanted babies and lifelong diseases. It can be physically/psychological exhilarating for a few minutes/seconds, but when compared with the baggage, hardly worth it.

People who obsess about being in a relationship are never happy, they remain in a confused state of mind, unable to concentrate, they lose any self-respect they may have had, and they completely ignore what is truly important in this world, in life. Sadly, many people lose the very best years of their lives, entangled in petty, pointless, and destructive emotional/physical relationships. Sadder of all is that in most cases, they have the choice to do better, to do more, to be more, to be happier - and yet, they throw it all away.

The solution?

Get to know yourself, love animals and give them your time and attention, respect and commune with nature, appreciate every leaf and flower and branch, count stars, paint a picture, write a poem or song, sculpt something, go to the botanical gardens, read something meaningful, create something that will last forever, add beauty to the world, plant a tree, bring an old car or building back to life, become a minimalist, reject gross commercialism and materialism, appreciate the wisdom of getting older, create your own sanctuary of serenity, if you are physically able, dance to one song every day and sing out loud, be thankful you're not a sheeple, be glad you don't have to share your space with another human being, severe all negative ties to negative family and friends, learn to say no, steer clear of emotional albatrosses, be happy with yourself.
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 07:52 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
As for sex, it's a distraction. It's baggage. It's emotionally draining and physically dangerous. It's grossly unhygienic. For females, it's degrading in too many ways to count (though few will ever recognize or admit it). It transitions friendships to disasters. It creates unwanted babies and lifelong diseases. It can be physically/psychological exhilarating for a few minutes/seconds, but when compared with the baggage, hardly worth it.

 Quoting: itsamadmadworld


My lady would disagree. She travels a long distance to visit me and I make love to her mind as well as her body and leave her in a state of euphoric bliss.
ElusivePisces
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12/03/2012 07:54 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I totally agree with all you said OP.
Your "solution", is a description of how I choose to live my life. People who are comfortable being alone have the best relationships with others, in my experience.
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 08:14 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I used to feel that way, life was okay being alone, until someone showed me attention, and showed me I can be liked/loved. It was so different, but they were in a relationship. I didn't understand...I never felt a want or desire to be with someone. I thought I was asexual for the longest time.

Now, I want more than anything to be with them, but they are with someone.

I wish I just pushed them away like everyone else. Well, I did finally push them away once I found out they were with someone. But it was too late, I caught feelings.

I'm too scared to even look for someone. This guy came into my life unexpectedly. I wasn't looking.

It did inspire me to live...to really live. Thanks for the solution, too. I think I have some watercolor paint that needs to be used....
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
12/03/2012 08:19 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I agree wholeheartedly with what you had to say about people who obsess over relationships... but not about sex. Sex is a beautiful, natural thing.
KateSask

User ID: 15170057
12/03/2012 08:24 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
If men and women didn't form relationships we wouldn't exist.
.


Candle Lake, CANADA in Pictures ~ [link to www.dennischamberlain.com]
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 08:44 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I've been so good at being alone, I do want to share it with someone....but I guess it's not for me.

God, if it's your will. For now, I shall walk alone....
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 08:52 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
There are always posts here about relationships, on and on and on, and when someone today posted about how much she likes men, it got me to wondering . . .

WHY do people spend so much time thinking, obsessing about personal relationships?

Why is it so important for humans to interact consistently with other humans?

There seems to be a desperation amongst most humans who apparently believe their entire life's value is determined by being in a relationship.

When you live, love, learn, and evolve, you understand that heavy-duty emotional relationships are way down on the list of significant life pursuits.

For some, they are removed from the list altogether.


Inherently, males and females cannot live in harmony, there are too many differences and neither gender will EVER fully understand the other. Due to the vast array of emotions involved, they will never be totally happy and fulfilled. Those who say otherwise are only fooling themselves.

Same-sex couples "should" have a greater chance of peaceful harmony, due to an introspective understanding of the gender, but history shows us that same-sex couples are just as likely to be unhappy, dysfunctional, and unfulfilled as heterosexual couples, more so in many ways.

As for sex, it's a distraction. It's baggage. It's emotionally draining and physically dangerous. It's grossly unhygienic. For females, it's degrading in too many ways to count (though few will ever recognize or admit it). It transitions friendships to disasters. It creates unwanted babies and lifelong diseases. It can be physically/psychological exhilarating for a few minutes/seconds, but when compared with the baggage, hardly worth it.

People who obsess about being in a relationship are never happy, they remain in a confused state of mind, unable to concentrate, they lose any self-respect they may have had, and they completely ignore what is truly important in this world, in life. Sadly, many people lose the very best years of their lives, entangled in petty, pointless, and destructive emotional/physical relationships. Sadder of all is that in most cases, they have the choice to do better, to do more, to be more, to be happier - and yet, they throw it all away.

The solution?

Get to know yourself, love animals and give them your time and attention, respect and commune with nature, appreciate every leaf and flower and branch, count stars, paint a picture, write a poem or song, sculpt something, go to the botanical gardens, read something meaningful, create something that will last forever, add beauty to the world, plant a tree, bring an old car or building back to life, become a minimalist, reject gross commercialism and materialism, appreciate the wisdom of getting older, create your own sanctuary of serenity, if you are physically able, dance to one song every day and sing out loud, be thankful you're not a sheeple, be glad you don't have to share your space with another human being, severe all negative ties to negative family and friends, learn to say no, steer clear of emotional albatrosses, be happy with yourself.
 Quoting: itsamadmadworld


people only want what they can't have. As soon as they get the person they want and the chase is over, so is the high. Relationships are like drugs for some people, or at least the "chase".
Anonymous Coward
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12/03/2012 08:59 PM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
This is what someone who absurdly claimed to be from the future posted here on GLP once.

"Consciousness does not exist, only relationships."

When you think of something, you are thinking of a relationship. When something makes you think of something else, you thought of it because it related to you. Life is relationships, so obsession with a human to human relationship only seems natural.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29021303
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12/04/2012 01:28 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
As for sex, it's a distraction. It's baggage. It's emotionally draining and physically dangerous. It's grossly unhygienic. For females, it's degrading in too many ways to count (though few will ever recognize or admit it). It transitions friendships to disasters. It creates unwanted babies and lifelong diseases. It can be physically/psychological exhilarating for a few minutes/seconds, but when compared with the baggage, hardly worth it.

 Quoting: itsamadmadworld


My lady would disagree. She travels a long distance to visit me and I make love to her mind as well as her body and leave her in a state of euphoric bliss.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27531391


Momentary pleasure, but superficial illusion, just doesn't count in the overall.
itsamadmadworld (OP)

User ID: 29021303
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12/04/2012 01:29 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I totally agree with all you said OP.
Your "solution", is a description of how I choose to live my life. People who are comfortable being alone have the best relationships with others, in my experience.
 Quoting: ElusivePisces 11156436



Pisces understand . . .


hf
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 01:30 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I used to feel that way, life was okay being alone, until someone showed me attention, and showed me I can be liked/loved. It was so different, but they were in a relationship. I didn't understand...I never felt a want or desire to be with someone. I thought I was asexual for the longest time.

Now, I want more than anything to be with them, but they are with someone.

I wish I just pushed them away like everyone else. Well, I did finally push them away once I found out they were with someone. But it was too late, I caught feelings.

I'm too scared to even look for someone. This guy came into my life unexpectedly. I wasn't looking.

It did inspire me to live...to really live. Thanks for the solution, too. I think I have some watercolor paint that needs to be used....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322



There ya' go . . . get those watercolors and paint something beautiful that makes you happy!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19829601
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12/04/2012 01:34 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I see a single sad life with many cats in your future. So shortsighted!
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 01:35 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
When you are extremely happy with yourself...

The next step is to share that happiness with someone else.
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Only if they are worthy . . . life is too tenuous, the world is too complicated and frightening now to waste your personal goodness on the bad ones who are trying to dominate the universe.

I advocate that those who are fortunate to "have" and are happy, seek out the downtrodden, the truly decent people and lift them up from their hard times.

And by all means, share your happiness by being kind to animals and nature!
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 01:37 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
If men and women didn't form relationships we wouldn't exist.
 Quoting: KateSask


No, humans exist only because of sex, not relationships.

Sex is necessary ONLY for procreation of the species and the sensible in this world will agree that we need no more procreation.

Kindest thing for Mother Earth would be total rejuvenation, not a perpetuation . . . Einstein's definition of insanity is precisely what is happening all around us.
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 01:40 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I've been so good at being alone, I do want to share it with someone....but I guess it's not for me.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322


If it's part of your destiny, it will be . . . otherwise, if you are healthy and relatively secure, embrace your ability to be on your own.

And if you follow some of my suggestions, your endeavors might reach/touch others and inspire them!

hf
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 01:41 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
people only want what they can't have. As soon as they get the person they want and the chase is over, so is the high. Relationships are like drugs for some people, or at least the "chase".
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28867210



That's true.

Humans waste SO much time playing pointless emotional games.
itsamadmadworld (OP)

User ID: 29021303
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12/04/2012 01:45 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
This is what someone who absurdly claimed to be from the future posted here on GLP once.

"Consciousness does not exist, only relationships."

When you think of something, you are thinking of a relationship. When something makes you think of something else, you thought of it because it related to you. Life is relationships, so obsession with a human to human relationship only seems natural.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28688560



I believe that humans are programmed instinctually to want/think about relationships . . . friends, dating, sex, marriage, having a family . . . but the key is in stepping outside the herd and realizing that it's no guarantee of happiness and fulfillment and that there are many things in life that have nothing to do with being in a relationship.
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 01:47 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I see a single sad life with many cats in your future. So shortsighted!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19829601


Sorry you feel that way . . . perhaps you just haven't yet figured out how to be happy with yourself, to channel your love to animals and nature, to be creative and productive, to know that your personal value and esteem should never be determined by another person.

hf
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 01:49 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
Thanks to the above member who gave me a bad karma vote, which doesn't bother me in the least.

Sorry though, that you are so bitter and angry and have not evolved to the point where you can actually understand the topics in this thread.
Anonymous Coward
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12/04/2012 02:34 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
Thanks to the above member who gave me a bad karma vote, which doesn't bother me in the least.

Sorry though, that you are so bitter and angry and have not evolved to the point where you can actually understand the topics in this thread.
 Quoting: itsamadmadworld


I am alone.. and find my self here.. because everyone at some point .. if they live long enough.. understands.. that we are truly alone,, on our journey to completion..... The others in our travels.. promote our direction and diversions... but can never fulfill our destiny.. That is a path only you walk.. and you must walk it alone to arrive...
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 03:27 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I am alone.. and find my self here.. because everyone at some point .. if they live long enough.. understands.. that we are truly alone,, on our journey to completion..... The others in our travels.. promote our direction and diversions... but can never fulfill our destiny.. That is a path only you walk.. and you must walk it alone to arrive...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24926363



The journey really is individual to each and every person.

Some evolve to understand that, but unfortunately, not everyone does.

Case in point is the poster on this thread who, rather than spending time actually thinking about the gist and value of the topic, wasted time instead to give a bad karma vote with this statement:

Dumb thread, who's responsible to raise kids?

You see, this poster pulled a pointless, irrelevant negative out of a positive, thought-provoking thread . . . he purposely CHOSE to think negatively and convey a snarky, pessimistic point of view.

Rather than understanding the value of embracing one's own self-worth and the wonders around us, or at least giving it some consideration, this poster merely thought about the topic of breeding . . . something this poor, overworked, abused planet definitely does not need . . . and attached a negative label to the entire thread.

The poster's remark is an illustration of the lack of enlightened thought in society in general.

Those who DO think and understand know what's important.
Qarley

User ID: 28950640
United States
12/04/2012 03:37 AM

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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I guess it depends on the type of person you are. Shallow people form shallow relationships. I think it is a beautiful thing to know yourself and share that with someone with no intention other than loving them for who they are. And through that the sex can be a shared non degrading thing.
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 04:03 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I guess it depends on the type of person you are. Shallow people form shallow relationships. I think it is a beautiful thing to know yourself and share that with someone with no intention other than loving them for who they are. And through that the sex can be a shared non degrading thing.
 Quoting: Qarley


Thanks for your fair insights.

hf
itsamadmadworld (OP)

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12/04/2012 04:10 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
Ah, another bad karma vote with this brilliant response, quoting my claim that males and females cannot live in harmony:


Males and females cannot live in harmony - sir you have a problem with woman



My reply would be this:

Bad karma voter, unlike you, I am evolved and open-minded enough to understand the undeniable inherent differences between males and females and am not the least bit ashamed to acknowledge such . . . I try to never rush to judgment and provide evidence for others to label me a total fool - as you have . . . and I never automatically assume that a poster is male.
krosty

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12/04/2012 04:32 AM
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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
I can only get along with mentally ill drug addicts because we understand eachother, but understanding someone too much can end up very bad.



“It's possible to love a human being if you don't know them too well.”
Qarley

User ID: 24764347
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12/04/2012 02:10 PM

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Re: Too much obsession with "relationships"
Ah, another bad karma vote with this brilliant response, quoting my claim that males and females cannot live in harmony:


Males and females cannot live in harmony - sir you have a problem with woman



My reply would be this:

Bad karma voter, unlike you, I am evolved and open-minded enough to understand the undeniable inherent differences between males and females and am not the least bit ashamed to acknowledge such . . . I try to never rush to judgment and provide evidence for others to label me a total fool - as you have . . . and I never automatically assume that a poster is male.
 Quoting: itsamadmadworld


I used to believe that they could not live in harmony. At least not without acknowledging their differences.
However, I am learning they can. You must find someone who is able to tune in to both their feminine and masculine brain.

I am a female who spends a lot of time around men. Even though my emotional reactions and such can be very "woman" living vicariously through a mans eyes has taught me how to logically change my reaction in those situations. Therefore I may not exist in a mans mind frame but i can understand it and act accordingly.

I can definitley agree that the majority of the earth's population does not see relationships through these eyes. And unless they start to they will never live in harmony with one another.
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

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