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How do you know you're not a muslim..?

 
GeordieLegend
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User ID: 4912635
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12/05/2012 08:26 AM
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How do you know you're not a muslim..?
I know a few of you guys (gals) may be a little bit concerned or uncertain if you could in fact be a muslim. Well, have a look at the following checklist and it might give you a better idea...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you canít afford shoes. You may be a Muslim.

3. You have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim.

4. You wipe your arse with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be unclean. You may be a Muslim.

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim.

6. You canít think of anyone you havenít declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim.

...and finally...

drumroll...

10. Your cousin is president of the United States. You may be a Muslim.

pokeye

Last Edited by GeordieLegend on 12/05/2012 08:58 AM
Propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach...
GeordieLegend (OP)

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12/05/2012 09:11 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Oh - and before someone calls me religion-ist, could i just inform some of the more ignorant GLPers that not all muslims are murderers.

Some of them are just rapists.
Propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach...
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 09:13 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Oh - and before someone calls me religion-ist, could i just inform some of the more ignorant GLPers that not all muslims are murderers.

Some of them are just rapists.
 Quoting: GeordieLegend


This was funny
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

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12/05/2012 09:16 AM

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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
If you wear diapers on your head instead of your ass, you might be a Muslim.

If you pass a rug store and have the urge to go inside and flop on them, you might be a Muslim.

If every third sentence you say Alluah Akbar, you might be a Muslim.
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 09:17 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Thanks for the giggle OP ! laugh rose 5 stars
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 09:17 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Oh - and before someone calls me religion-ist, could i just inform some of the more ignorant GLPers that not all muslims are murderers.

Some of them are just rapists.
 Quoting: GeordieLegend


Not all Jewish guys are pimps that whore out their own sisters.

Just most of them.

Traffickers target Israeli girls to replace foreign sex slaves
Success in combating the import of women for sex in Israel has led traffickers to recruit local girls.

[link to www.haaretz.com]
Hitokiri

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12/05/2012 09:20 AM

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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Oh - and before someone calls me religion-ist, could i just inform some of the more ignorant GLPers that not all muslims are murderers.

Some of them are just rapists.
 Quoting: GeordieLegend


Brendan Fraser C
"You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." -Morpheus
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 09:23 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Mur slim ... Thats eh not going to church and trying.

To make your problems not giving it to others ?
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 09:32 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
And you give me 10.000,- + a volvo v40 cross.
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 09:34 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
The rest makes it like you always wanted with dragging.
samanthasunflower

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12/05/2012 09:46 AM

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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Oh - and before someone calls me religion-ist, could i just inform some of the more ignorant GLPers that not all muslims are murderers.

Some of them are just rapists.
 Quoting: GeordieLegend


Not all Jewish guys are pimps that whore out their own sisters.

Just most of them.

Traffickers target Israeli girls to replace foreign sex slaves
Success in combating the import of women for sex in Israel has led traffickers to recruit local girls.

[link to www.haaretz.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29126824


If you blame Jewish people for everything bad that has ever happened, you might be a muslim.

If whenever someone points out how messed up your culture and people are, you reply with something bad that some Jewish person did, you might be a muslim.
GeordieLegend (OP)

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12/06/2012 01:20 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
bump
Propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach...
Anonymous Coward
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12/08/2012 03:34 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Why do people have such a problem with Muslims? I don't really know any, but the one or two I do know seem to be nice enough people.
Anonymous Coward
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12/08/2012 03:48 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
No, I know I'm not one because I actually like to listen to other people's opinions instead of wanting to cut their heads off for it.
Anonymous Coward
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12/08/2012 04:36 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
I'm not a muslim but you guys are dickheads.
Anonymous Coward
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Sweden
12/08/2012 05:31 AM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Nothing wrong with Islam, it's an excellent religion for fearful baby souls. It supplies exactly the kind of simplistic and dogmatic rules they need.
Anonymous Coward
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12/09/2012 03:28 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
bump
Debauchery

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12/09/2012 03:30 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Oh - and before someone calls me religion-ist, could i just inform some of the more ignorant GLPers that not all muslims are murderers.

Some of them are just rapists.
 Quoting: GeordieLegend


chuckle
And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen.
Alufiend
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12/09/2012 03:34 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
if you have more than 4 wives but would rather sleep with your camel. you might be a muslim
Anonymous Coward
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12/09/2012 03:35 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
Oh - and before someone calls me religion-ist, could i just inform some of the more ignorant GLPers that not all muslims are murderers.

Some of them are just rapists.
 Quoting: GeordieLegend


rofl
Anonymous Coward
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12/09/2012 03:35 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
I'm not a muslim but you guys are dickheads.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29326784


go hug an IED
Alufiend
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12/09/2012 03:39 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
if you get angry and want to kill people over a picture of what you think might be the prophet mohammed. (you don't really know what he looked like because no picture has been allowed for 2000 years)
you might be a muslim.
Anonymous Coward
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12/09/2012 03:40 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
I'm not a muslim but you guys are dickheads.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29326784


post of the thread award.
Alufiend
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12/09/2012 03:56 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
if you think the age of consent and marriage is 9, you might be a muslim (or a brit, or anyone in high political office, or a priest.)
Alufiend
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12/09/2012 03:56 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
if you think the age of consent and marriage is 9, you might be a muslim (or a brit, or anyone in high political office, or a priest.)
 Quoting: Alufiend 29349120

or in the boy scouts
Anonymous Coward
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12/09/2012 04:01 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
The thread says "How do you know your not a Muslim"

You all are Backwards.
Alufiend
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12/09/2012 04:08 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
The thread says "How do you know your not a Muslim"

You all are Backwards.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27603250


ok i'll play by those rules.
you know you are not muslim if you are gay.
if you think kissing in public is ok, you're not a muslim
if you go to a nudist colony, you're not muslim
if you think everything tastes better with bacon, you're not muslim
if you think sharia is a girls name, you're not muslim
if you use toilet paper, you're not muslim
Alufiend
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United States
12/09/2012 04:13 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
if you think that movie trailer that enflamed the middle east was a piece of crap and a waste of 15 min. of your life. you're not a muslim
Anonymous Coward
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12/09/2012 04:15 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
The thread says "How do you know your not a Muslim"

You all are Backwards.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27603250


ok i'll play by those rules.
you know you are not muslim if you are gay.
if you think kissing in public is ok, you're not a muslim
if you go to a nudist colony, you're not muslim
if you think everything tastes better with bacon, you're not muslim
if you think sharia is a girls name, you're not muslim
if you use toilet paper, you're not muslim
 Quoting: Alufiend 29349120


cool story bro
Lotus Flower

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United Kingdom
12/09/2012 04:18 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
I know a few of you guys (gals) may be a little bit concerned or uncertain if you could in fact be a muslim. Well, have a look at the following checklist and it might give you a better idea...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you canít afford shoes. You may be a Muslim.

3. You have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim.

4. You wipe your arse with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be unclean. You may be a Muslim.

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim.

6. You canít think of anyone you havenít declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim.

...and finally...

drumroll...

10. Your cousin is president of the United States. You may be a Muslim.

pokeye
 Quoting: GeordieLegend


Have you always gone through life this way OP? Putting people into neat and tidy boxes I mean?

For crying out loud, God give me strength!
Lotus

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares - Hebrews 13:2

One Crowded hour of glorious life, is worth an age without a name - Thomas Osbert Mordaunt
Alufiend
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12/09/2012 04:19 PM
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Re: How do you know you're not a muslim..?
if you only have 1 wife and she was over 18 when you married her, you're not a muslim

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