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Sort of depressed - life without purpose

 
Smith Jefferys
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12/05/2012 06:14 PM
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Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
Dr. AculaModerator
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12/05/2012 06:16 PM

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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Thread: Its No Longer Free


dude check out my book

i battle severe depression everyday

thats how i beat it

best advice i could give! :)
Smith Jefferys (OP)

User ID: 15628045
United Kingdom
12/05/2012 06:17 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Thread: Its No Longer Free


dude check out my book

i battle severe depression everyday

thats how i beat it

best advice i could give! :)
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


Thanks man, I'll take a look. Fingers crossed!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/05/2012 06:18 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
the women thing. Sounds like we have the same problem. When women become this shallow and flaky it does take the purpose out of everything.
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 06:18 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


It takes work but try to focus on opening your heart (ask your higher power for help). You can change this perception you are holding...

hf
Anonymous Coward
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Finland
12/05/2012 06:24 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
the women thing. Sounds like we have the same problem. When women become this shallow and flaky it does take the purpose out of everything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21926154


Agree.

I have given up with women and put my trust on Jesus Christ and only Him.

You can follow me and get the peace of God with you:
[link to lordsebaot.wordpress.com]
141

User ID: 15903378
Denmark
12/05/2012 06:28 PM

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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Thanks for sharing
I follow you on that one about trusting women
Had two long relationships ending bc of her having an affair
Love was still there, but trust have gone
But from where I am now in my life, I can see that it was a learning process, even it hurt like hell at the time...
In a way brought me closer to myself, to trust myself, to trust to make every step from my heart...
For now, have again met a love, which I with all my heart trust, and are ready to face any shadow of the past, bc I trust myself to be able to go through...
I trust you to find the way too...
Hope any of this may be helpful...

Lots of love to you
Truth and Love...
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/05/2012 06:30 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
yo, life is too awesome and profound for you to feel this way!

You should feel honored that others like and confide in you AND that those fools had to pay you off to fire you--some people just get canned...

Don't be surprised that some people do sucky things--they just do and it shouldn't surprise you nor bring you down.

I have a friend who was getting dumped a lot by girls and to me it always seemed like he was asking for it. You need to get in touch with the profounder aspects of this reality and find someone willing to go there with you, or else you will be doomed to mediocrity and getting dumped...

So forget about women for now and focus on what makes life real and interesting for you--and take chances, think big and just start the journey, whatever it is: music, art, researching whether or not Christ is real or giants roamed the earth...

consider that the entire cosmos obeys laws and rules, but you have free will... to think anything... to do spontaneous acts of kindness... to love others in unique ways...

:)
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
12/05/2012 06:31 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
the women thing. Sounds like we have the same problem. When women become this shallow and flaky it does take the purpose out of everything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21926154


You and the OP should read the novels by the late Kingsley Amis concerning the "woman problem".

May I suggest "Jake's Thing" and "Stanley, And The Women" for starters.

Amis was a notorious lecher and a hammer of the women, so be prepared for a load of laughs!
Spine monkey

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12/05/2012 06:37 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hey, man, sorry about this all. The thought that came to my mind when I had read most of it was, he should volunteer to help alleviate just a little bit of woe in the world.

Try that, brother. Just find something nearby, something local, a charity, where you can help out. The people will be genuinely glad to see you. You can start there. Peace, gotta go.
Smith Jefferys (OP)

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United Kingdom
12/05/2012 06:40 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Thanks for the feedback all - you've given me lots to think about!

Hopefully a little bit of light will appear at some point.. keep wishing and thinking that nice things will happen :)
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 06:44 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
the women thing. Sounds like we have the same problem. When women become this shallow and flaky it does take the purpose out of everything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21926154


As soon as you lose your job or health they bail out on you. And i see very few women speaking out against it which adds to the hopelessness. Just mentioning this will label you a woman hater and people demonise and vilify you.
141

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Denmark
12/05/2012 06:45 PM

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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Thanks for the feedback all - you've given me lots to think about!

Hopefully a little bit of light will appear at some point.. keep wishing and thinking that nice things will happen :)
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


Hope that too, my friend
All good things to you...
Perhaps this song may inspire, I know I love it
:o)



[link to www.youtube.com]
Truth and Love...
Anonymous Coward
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Austria
12/05/2012 06:47 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Get in line.
crestedone

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12/05/2012 06:47 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
you say you lost your job last year and have now started a new one at the bottom and have moved up to a managerial position already, haha ya right, try to keep your story straight there buddy.
crestedone

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12/05/2012 06:49 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


you dont trust women anymore and your cat makes you happy......... u may want to come out of the closet!
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
12/05/2012 06:50 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


Feels like you are my doppelganger bro. I could have wrote this post myself.
So...you are not alone.
Smith Jefferys (OP)

User ID: 15628045
United Kingdom
12/05/2012 07:00 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
you say you lost your job last year and have now started a new one at the bottom and have moved up to a managerial position already, haha ya right, try to keep your story straight there buddy.
 Quoting: crestedone


No word of a lie.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
12/05/2012 07:01 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
you say you lost your job last year and have now started a new one at the bottom and have moved up to a managerial position already, haha ya right, try to keep your story straight there buddy.
 Quoting: crestedone


No word of a lie.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


Do you work in private industry, or local government?

drevil
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United States
12/05/2012 07:02 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
life is never without purpose you will always learn something
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
12/05/2012 07:03 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Your real soul mate is waiting for you, go get her.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/05/2012 07:03 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hello OP,

Perhaps God is removing distractions so that you can get to know Him?

Perhaps He is giving you an opportunity to adjust your priorities in life?

peace,
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
12/05/2012 07:08 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Your real soul mate is waiting for you, go get her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27816282


lol The biggest lie of all time!
ll
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Lithuania
12/05/2012 07:19 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hello OP,

Perhaps God is removing distractions so that you can get to know Him?

Perhaps He is giving you an opportunity to adjust your priorities in life?

peace,
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1194370


^ this.

Everything must fall before new dawns.

If i don't see any meaning, maybe i can create one? Well, that's a difficult one, because all my life i was fed with this knowledge of what to do, what is what, how to behave, who is who, and now... if i myself start creating a meaning... no i can't take such responsibility. I am a slave to surroundings. Actually i am surroundings. Wait.. Who am i? I wonder who am i for real? What am I?

It is what is going on on unconscious level human is not aware of.
Thinking won't solve any 'problem', because thinking is created for you by society. Concepts must die. Empty like a cup. Only then something can happen. But that happening is not in your power.

Place yourself outside your body and whatever you do watch yourself from a distance. See what difference does it make. Observe, see, listen. Stop thinking. Action and thinking does not go hand in hand. Action is instant. Creation is instant, it is not planned thing. How can you create something if you are using old knowledge? You have to have your unique perspective on things.

Just some blabla for you, maybe you will use something.
Don't you wanna know who are you for real? :) We actually don't know anything.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/05/2012 07:29 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
and get on some supernutrients like spirulina and chlorella to reduce moods and feel good energy-wise...

visit health food stores and talk to them about how you are feeling... you may be simply missing a few nutrients or minerals...

I used to be very moody til I started on the health track w foods...

:)
stillhere

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United States
12/05/2012 07:36 PM

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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
OP, you are not alone, so many of us feel this way at one time or another.

If your girlfriend left, you are better off. You have been hurt and are looking down. This is a huge turn off to other people, but a necessary stage--to mourn your losses and move on.

Your spirit is telling you you are going in the wrong direction. It is giving you the nudge that this is not how you should spend the rest of your life--take heed and spend some of your free time exploring other options.

When you are feeling "right" again you will attract like minded women--who can be trusted--you just need to be selective.

Your best bets for "feeling" better are...

1. Make sure you are getting good nutrition and sleep. Take a multi vitamin, and don't drink every night. Niacin is good at helping with depression--google it--simple Vitamin B-3, I wouldn't be a day without it. (it is harmless and cheep)

2. Exercise a bit at least 5 days a week till you sweat hard--the effects are wonderful.

3. Volunteer at something you can feel passionate about--you will meet like minded people that way.

4. You are young and single--the world is your oyster, anything is possible.

There are a lot of people out there teaching that what you "tell" yourself, "your story" can harm you or help you. Basic positive thinking, but really is true. The more you tell yourself that you got screwed at your last job, your girlfriend left you and your parents suck, life seems pointless--it makes these things have more power over you.

Imagine that the damage that was done to you (as you perceived it) is like a cut on your arm. Every time you tell yourself your "story" or others...the cut gets deeper.

I can highly recommend "Byron Katie" and "Tony Burroughs"

"Every Word has Power" by Yvonne Oswald

"Your Body Believes Every Word You Say" by Barbara Levine

"The law of Agreement: Discover the True Power of INTENTION", by Tony Burroughs

Laughing is good--have you seen this? I thought it was too funny...


"You can bend it and twist it... You can misuse and abuse it... But even God cannot change the Truth.”
Michael Levy
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 07:37 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
I think that you are smart not to confide in anyone at work, we have all learned lessons about that. All of us have stories about the wicked workplace and the things that go on there can break your heart if you let it.

It sounds like you are depressed and had some huge disappointments in your life--work and love...

You need a passion and perhaps your work is not meaningful enough for you....you love your cat, obviously and she/he makes you happy....how about volunteering at a cat shelter or joining some cat groups on the internet like catster.com or the catchannel? You will find people who share your love of animals.



Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys
Anonymous Coward
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12/05/2012 07:38 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Your real soul mate is waiting for you, go get her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27816282


lol The biggest lie of all time!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29142764


Agreed. I believe it happens but it is rare.

Esp. now that most humans never mature.
Anonymous Coward
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Japan
12/05/2012 07:38 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Just take antidepressants and become a happy zombie. Give up, there is no point trying to fix it through doing things or thinking things or feeIng things. The only hope is to obliterate your angst through pharmaceutical numbness. Resistance is futile, join the pharmaBorg.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
12/05/2012 07:40 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Just take antidepressants and become a happy zombie. Give up, there is no point trying to fix it through doing things or thinking things or feeIng things. The only hope is to obliterate your angst through pharmaceutical numbness. Resistance is futile, join the pharmaBorg.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29161384


There's a lot to recommend the Zombie lifestyle!

No feelings, no credit card payments, no food shopping ...

zombiesahhh
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
12/05/2012 07:41 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
My purpose in this life is to be an Observer.

Of the End Times.

News