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Sort of depressed - life without purpose

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10809107
United States
12/05/2012 07:42 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


sound weak to me

[link to moviesounds.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28334654
United Kingdom
12/05/2012 07:50 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
What about saving up for a trip to Thailand, go to one of those thai boxing camps for a month

[link to www.tigermuaythai.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18475264
Canada
12/05/2012 08:12 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


Get a wife and kids and you'll have no time for depression ;)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18370350
Canada
12/05/2012 08:30 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
I will change your life, for the better.

Nex year, grow a garden. A large garden. A vegetable garden, of food that you can eat, and share with your friends, or whoever. If you live in the city, grow in containers wherever possible. If you are near the country, ask a farmer if they will leave a corner of a field for you to use (say, a 100 x 50 foot plot, that they have already plowed, pay them something for this, of course), and just drive out there once a week to tend it. Think big, even in the first year, and try growing a wide variety of plants. Even try growing wheat if you can get a larger plot for this. Try beekeeping there as well if you are really feeling ambitious.

All of these activities will open up numerous new opportunities for you... you will be doing something relaxing outdoors, you will meet new people, you will see the fruits of your labours, you will be experiencing things most humans before this age knew of, and you will just feel good doing it, every step of the way.

It's the start of winter, so you have a couple of months to get your seeds together, do some reading, talk with people, and make plans for May.

Do this, and your life will be better when next fall rolls around, I promise you!
JustCinnamon

User ID: 2917051
Canada
12/05/2012 08:44 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Have you tried meditation?

And a book I read that actually did change my life was "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life" by Wayne Dyer. I highly recommend it.
"I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic ******* hatreds, okay. And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out." George Carlin

[link to www.youtube.com]

[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24537507
United States
12/05/2012 08:52 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Just take antidepressants and become a happy zombie. Give up, there is no point trying to fix it through doing things or thinking things or feeIng things. The only hope is to obliterate your angst through pharmaceutical numbness. Resistance is futile, join the pharmaBorg.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29161384


They don't work at least not for long. I've been on every anti depressant,anti psychotic,mood stabilizers etc for 30 years. It's just existing on them and all you really want is peace and to give up. Even Thorazine and haldol and crap like that don't slow down the fear,paranoia,anger,voices,depression after a while but you want them because at least they can turn off your brain but thats it and it doesn't last. Big pharma always has a new med,anti psychotic to get your doctor to try out on you and the brochurre promises so much but never delivers. Then you're psychotic again and time for another stint in the hospital Everything screaming,everything wants to harm you and you live in fear. when everything else is gone you think that's it but the meds you took in the first place wreck your health. Then you just want to give up. To let go. The only way to win is to lose.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7254491
United States
12/05/2012 09:02 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets,
and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the
sinner shall be taken by her. (Eccl. 7:26)

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his
commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. (Eccl. 12:13)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9042175
United States
12/05/2012 09:46 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
A friend of mine got involved in a community garden and she really had a good time and met a lot of nice people.



I will change your life, for the better.

Nex year, grow a garden. A large garden. A vegetable garden, of food that you can eat, and share with your friends, or whoever. If you live in the city, grow in containers wherever possible. If you are near the country, ask a farmer if they will leave a corner of a field for you to use (say, a 100 x 50 foot plot, that they have already plowed, pay them something for this, of course), and just drive out there once a week to tend it. Think big, even in the first year, and try growing a wide variety of plants. Even try growing wheat if you can get a larger plot for this. Try beekeeping there as well if you are really feeling ambitious.

All of these activities will open up numerous new opportunities for you... you will be doing something relaxing outdoors, you will meet new people, you will see the fruits of your labours, you will be experiencing things most humans before this age knew of, and you will just feel good doing it, every step of the way.

It's the start of winter, so you have a couple of months to get your seeds together, do some reading, talk with people, and make plans for May.

Do this, and your life will be better when next fall rolls around, I promise you!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18370350
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
12/06/2012 09:37 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Hi fellow GLPers.

I'm 36 and feel that life is going nowhere. I lost my dream job last year after a senior manager took it upon themselves to engineer my dismissal because I constantly demonstrated that they couldn't do their job. I got a handsome payoff not to sue them, but had to start from scratch careerwise.

My girlfriend left me soon after as well.

I started work at another place right at the bottom and have quickly worked my way up to a managerial position just by avoiding office politics, working hard and helping out fellow workers who were struggling.

But it all just feels so pointless. People would look at me and think, "Oh, hasn't he done well. He's honest, hard-working and helps other people," but I can't help feel that I'm just going to be shat on again.

I've not made the mistake of opening up to anyone at work. It's strange how people feel comfortable enough to confide in me (and I would genuinely never betray their confidence) but they know very little about me apart from my 'work persona'.

Outside of work, my friends are all married up with kids so no-one goes out much. I just come home, go on the internet, sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, round and round. I did try joining a few clubs outside of work, but got a bit bored.

I don't feel as if I can trust women anymore either.

I still talk to my close family, but my parents have spent so much of the last decade bombarding me with their woes and not taking any notice of mine that I'm just not bothered about them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but tired of being an emotional sponger for them when it should be the other way round.

I just feel empty. My cat makes me happy, and I like sci-fi shows.. I like coming on here and laughing at Hagel and Valugua etc. But these things are so little.

When I look at how desperately sad things are in the world with so much suffering and despair... I dunno.

I'm probably just tired, but it's good to let it out. I know there are good things and good people out there.. but I just can't connect with it anymore. How do I connect with it in a genuine way, and not just pretending so as to appear normal? I can only fake the smile so much.
 Quoting: Smith Jefferys


Yep, it is good to let it all out. And it is good that you do find some happiness in things in life. Keep focusing on them. And really the bright side is you do have a job. Why not explore other options in life while you still have income coming in?

Do some soul searching. It is a good time for that since you don't have a girlfriend/wife and/or even kids. You really do have a lot of freedom.

Maybe look for a therapist to go to once in a while and just let things out. A family member of mine finally did this and she is doing so well now. She can let off steam and get some direction without having to 'burden' any family or friends. Plus things stay with the therapist and not spread all over the place. Just an idea.

And don't discount prayer in helping you. Just keep believing things will get better.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27816282
Canada
12/06/2012 09:45 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Your real soul mate is waiting for you, go get her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27816282


lol The biggest lie of all time!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29142764


Agreed. I believe it happens but it is rare.

Esp. now that most humans never mature.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29096310


It happened for me, why couldn't it happen for others.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6764376
Japan
12/06/2012 09:50 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
What about joining a cycling club?

[link to www.britishcycling.org.uk]
Nexus-9

User ID: 1368022
United States
12/06/2012 09:53 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
It really is all pointless. Its as if one needs to have a family, career, health etc just to feel as if there is a purpose for life.

Then you die.

But if you don't have those things, you're unhappy.

Then you die.

Different path, same result, ergo it's all pointless.

I think, God is really tired and he's realizing he's fooled himself long enough with his own devices that he's grown ambivalent and disconnected with mankind.

What happens when a child loses interest in his toys? They just lay there doing nothing.
"Fiery the Angels rose, & as they rose deep thunder roll'd
Around their shores: indignant burning with the fires of Orc" - William Blake, America a Prophecy
(...also misquoted in Blade Runner by Roy Batty)

"Tempus est optimus iudex" - "Time is the best judge"

"The very word "'secrecy'" is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and to secret proceedings." - John F. Kennedy, New York City, April 27, 1961
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20078449
United States
12/06/2012 10:29 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
yo, life is too awesome and profound for you to feel this way!

You should feel honored that others like and confide in you AND that those fools had to pay you off to fire you--some people just get canned...

Don't be surprised that some people do sucky things--they just do and it shouldn't surprise you nor bring you down.

I have a friend who was getting dumped a lot by girls and to me it always seemed like he was asking for it. You need to get in touch with the profounder aspects of this reality and find someone willing to go there with you, or else you will be doomed to mediocrity and getting dumped...

So forget about women for now and focus on what makes life real and interesting for you--and take chances, think big and just start the journey, whatever it is: music, art, researching whether or not Christ is real or giants roamed the earth...

consider that the entire cosmos obeys laws and rules, but you have free will... to think anything... to do spontaneous acts of kindness... to love others in unique ways...

:)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22070412


clappa

AWESOME. You should be a motivational/inspirational speaker

This is the truth. Count your blessing man. You could be sick and dying of cancer, or be paralyzed, or one of those former soldiers with their limbs blown off. Imagine if you were in a dire situation such as that, how much you would envy those who are "normal". Imagine if you were 100 years old (or dead and looking upon the living) how much you would envy those who are young with their whole lives ahead of them, and the opportunity to do nearly anything they wanted. Life is a gift, and a WONDERFUL opportunity.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/06/2012 10:36 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
try invega
Anonymous Coward
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12/06/2012 10:51 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
the women thing. Sounds like we have the same problem. When women become this shallow and flaky it does take the purpose out of everything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21926154


As soon as you lose your job or health they bail out on you. And i see very few women speaking out against it which adds to the hopelessness. Just mentioning this will label you a woman hater and people demonise and vilify you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6409759


Not true of all women. I have both situations, health and no job, with my boyfriend, but we love each other and I'd rather be with him then without him. He isn't superficial and understands that love comes with it's problems. Its too bad the women in your life don't understand that.
Just keep looking and don't just look at the "pretty" women. There are a lot of women with "hearts of gold" that aren't the most beautiful but have a lot of sincerity, love and loyalty.
Nacht im Walde

User ID: 1273286
Germany
12/06/2012 11:02 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
It really is all pointless. Its as if one needs to have a family, career, health etc just to feel as if there is a purpose for life.

Then you die.

But if you don't have those things, you're unhappy.

Then you die.

Different path, same result, ergo it's all pointless.

I think, God is really tired and he's realizing he's fooled himself long enough with his own devices that he's grown ambivalent and disconnected with mankind.

What happens when a child loses interest in his toys? They just lay there doing nothing.
 Quoting: Nexus-9


But is not the journey of life more important? Whether you believe in an after life or not, does your attitude towards life not directly have in impact on people around you? Are you not moved by a person giving you a smile without reason? Did such an act not influence you, and would it have occured if that person would have thought life is pointless?
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. - Anais Nin
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/06/2012 11:04 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Just hold out a little longer OP. We don't have much more to endure this duality.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/06/2012 11:10 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
easy way to stop being depressed. imagine all the bad things in your life. Now, imagine what else could go wrong. No home to speak of, no job, health turns south, you become disfigured in car crash, both parents die all at once, etc, etc, that is what has happened to many others.

Feeling better yet?
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
12/06/2012 11:25 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Your real soul mate is waiting for you, go get her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27816282


lol The biggest lie of all time!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29142764


If you have never found yours, doesn't mean that others haven't. People don't find their soul mates, they are brought together by magnetism, ones positive & the other is negative.

A lot of people may have found theirs already, but have broken off with them because, they felt like they had nothing in common with each other.

They compliment each other, in so many ways. Your fingers are your strong points, and between them is your weak points. Your partners fingers are your weak points, and between them, are your strong points, so when the two are united, it makes you whole and balanced.

How do i know? Is because I have found mine. Having a soul mate offers much more, than we truly can comprehend.

So! Opie just hang in there, things happen for a reason. In a later date you will find that reason, as everything will start falling in place, for you.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/06/2012 11:30 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
the women thing. Sounds like we have the same problem. When women become this shallow and flaky it does take the purpose out of everything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21926154



Sorry, a bit off topic, yet I, a man, am so sick of this.

Its just so overwhelming the woman this the woman that, back to eden, "eve did this shit".

BS I say, you want love, then make love and stop being such frigging cry babies.
Nexus-9

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12/06/2012 12:55 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
It really is all pointless. Its as if one needs to have a family, career, health etc just to feel as if there is a purpose for life.

Then you die.

But if you don't have those things, you're unhappy.

Then you die.

Different path, same result, ergo it's all pointless.

I think, God is really tired and he's realizing he's fooled himself long enough with his own devices that he's grown ambivalent and disconnected with mankind.

What happens when a child loses interest in his toys? They just lay there doing nothing.
 Quoting: Nexus-9


But is not the journey of life more important? Whether you believe in an after life or not, does your attitude towards life not directly have in impact on people around you? Are you not moved by a person giving you a smile without reason? Did such an act not influence you, and would it have occured if that person would have thought life is pointless?
 Quoting: Nacht im Walde


Attitude does make a difference.

I think ultimately all people are alone. Some don't realize it because they may be constantly with company. But as soon as that's gone it's a sad feeling.

I think if there is a God, he must know he is ultimately alone, because who is like God? So, that must be sad.

God is the child and we are the toys.
"Fiery the Angels rose, & as they rose deep thunder roll'd
Around their shores: indignant burning with the fires of Orc" - William Blake, America a Prophecy
(...also misquoted in Blade Runner by Roy Batty)

"Tempus est optimus iudex" - "Time is the best judge"

"The very word "'secrecy'" is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and to secret proceedings." - John F. Kennedy, New York City, April 27, 1961
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1670326
Malaysia
12/07/2012 11:37 AM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
My purpose in this life is to be an Observer.

Of the End Times.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29142764


which may never come in your lifetime
Anonymous Coward
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12/07/2012 01:32 PM
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Re: Sort of depressed - life without purpose
Just take antidepressants and become a happy zombie. Give up, there is no point trying to fix it through doing things or thinking things or feeIng things. The only hope is to obliterate your angst through pharmaceutical numbness. Resistance is futile, join the pharmaBorg.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29161384

No, do NOT do this! You will just end up coming back in another life to learn whatever lessons you AVOID in this life by numbing yourself.