Sick of stay at home moms whining about how 'hard' they have it.

Very well put. :) OP has a lot to learn.

Sure, then the lazy bitch's can:

Pay rent
Pay for food
Pay for car/gas/insurance/matience
Pay for their own clothes
...

The anonymous person who started this thread has obviously never been up and down all night with sick or teething kids.

This person has never had to plan or cook meals every day, clean house, try to grocery shop, raise a garden, take care of bills, taxes, insurance, etc., go to school or sports activities, and be both mother and father to a child who needs attention at least 16 hours a day.

This person doesn't know what it's like to be stuck in the house with children day and night and have almost no time to yourself or energy to be with your spouse or significant other.

This person has never breastfed a child and given them the love and guidance they need 24/7.

This person thinks it's like a job you go to for 8 hours and then go home and relax.

Yeah, right. Get real.

If you don't want it, don't breed.

Kinda late for that advice.
There is no warning or preparation for parenthood, we require a license to drive cars but not parenting classes, babysitting hours or a license to have children... go figure.

"If you don't want it, don't breed."

Um, I don't care how much you want it, most people aren't prepared for how overwhelming it can be. Moms who have to work full time and still deal with their children, household chores, shopping, etc. without help from anyone become exhausted and stressed.

Also, sometimes babies come whether you plan them or not.
Those of us who care about our children take full responsibility for them when they are born.

Two differences is communication and appreciation. Caring for kids is a 24 hour job. They don't appreciate what you do for them, and there's no "adult" conversation until they're teens.

When you worked for your mom's daycare, you probably had another adult with you to talk with. Also, you knew someone was paying you or your mom for your services.

Being a stay-at-home mom is probably the most unappreciated job anyone could have. You worry about their safety, health, education, happiness, ability to make friends, etc. If the kids turn out to be loving, respectful of others, and successful as adults, the stay-at-home mom should be more proud of what she achieved than any other working person.

I was a stay-at-home mom. The time before, and after that, I worked outside the home in two professions that anyone would love to have. The stay-at-home mom time was, by far, the most difficult.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 12/06/2012 10:50 AM

I do not think that most people, male or female, realize what it takes to run a house and have a family. They just know that most couples marry or live together and have children, so they should, too.

Everyone thinks babies and kids are so darn cute, so they have them. They have no idea how much work goes into a marriage and raising kids. I think the ideal situation is when loving relatives live nearby to help and support emotionally, otherwise, frustration grows between the couple.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 12/06/2012 10:47 AM

Lack of appreciation for real stay at home moms, causes more shitty stay at home moms... It's a hard enough decision to stick to and constantly defend when people ask. I have no idea where this easy job is you speak of, I homeschool and stay home with my three daughters. I am CONSTANTLY cleaning, cooking, breastfeeding, teaching, reading to them... It doesn't stop when my husband comes home... So seriously, you make absolutely no sense... Theres no 30 mins uninterrupted lunch time... There's no clock out time.. And practically no intellectual interaction... It's exhausting without the right support.

Most women are parasites who expect everything handed to them. Let them fend for themselves or starve to death. The world is much better without those walking wombs.

The thing with working outside of the house is you get to go home and relax. When you are caring for little ones it's a 24/7 deal.

Watching kids (with help) at a daycare doesn't compare.

Actually when women left the homes and entered the workforce by the hundreds of millions, it tanked the middle class and lowered the buying power of the dollar

You would have been able to stay home and your man earning gold even at the malt shop if you all had the faith to raise your kids .

Utter crap.....excuses....

Ever heard of "birth Control"....

NO, you CHOOSE to breed, now deal with it and don't expect others to do YOUR job.

Use another argument, the 'in your own home shit' is wack. plenty of people with businesses and careers working 'right at their own comfy computer.' go argue this with your mom. who'll win?

He is my neighbor, and, you are correct that I have nothing to complain about. However, FYI: he and his family really aren't the 'uber-rich' that are typically in politics. They are very nice, normal people- and, neither their home nor mine is very far out of the 'normal' house prices in this area.

Utter crap.....excuses....

Ever heard of "birth Control"....

NO, you CHOOSE to breed, now deal with it and don't expect others to do YOUR job.


Who said anything about expecting anyone to do our job? I thought this thread was about simply wanting RESPECT for what stay at home mothers do. And that is such a fucking cop out, you are aware birth control is fallible right? I was on the birth control SHOT when I got pregnant, my doctor shrugged and said I was the .3%. You take responsibility, there's nothing wrong with demanding respect for the WORK we do. Tell the daycare worker they don't have a job either.

I've done both. Worked a 40 hour job outside of home, until 3 years ago. Been mostly a stay at home wife/mom since then with a few part-time jobs along the way. I see both sides of this coin, but I will say this. Whether you work a job or not, when you're a parent, your work never ends. I'm on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week, regardless of anything else that may be going on. It's not easy, but it's so worth it.

You are so right! I wish I could give advice to every high school guy and gal, but I wonder if they would listen at that age!

Stay at home dad here as well. It's not difficult by any masure! In fact, I'm able to work from home quite successfully. A few hours here and there throughout the day as a PHP developer.

I can't necessarily get behind "sending the wife / girlfriend to work so you can enjoy raising your children", but if the situation works out that this is the case then it doesn't take long to realize that the "oh no no no, you wouldn't WANT this job, it's just so hard!" is really nothing but inflated mommy ego's at work.

Fun, rewarding, educational, sometimes frustrating but it's bound to happen when dealing with miniature human beings with all of their untamed human being idiosyncrasies.

A stay at hope moms work does not end after eight ours :)

stay at hope mom. A typo yet so full of truth.

OP AND OTHERS:
Yes we choose to breed but were not saying we wish we didn't do so- were saying yes, indeed it's hard. I worked with my first and eventually transitioned to a near part time, and then became a SAHM for my second.
So I've done both. Can't speak for older kids but SAHM for two young ones is insane. Husband does very very well but gets home after kids are in bed. It's nonstop chaos, nonstop cleaning, nonstop exhausting craziness.

Nursing every hour while trying to entertain a toddler/preschooler is hard. Trying to unload dishwasher/washing machine/anything takes 5 times longer with "help". Sometimes you would give anything just to go and sit in the closet by yourself for five minutes. You do all the night feeds/nightmares/teething etc bc the other person has work in the am. But then so do you...older one doesn't nap and you just try to function on 3.5 hrs sleep until 8pm when they all finally go to bed. But then you have more laundry to fold. And now you can finally mop.

Then I got my masters. While attempting to continue to be a SAHM. Older ones in school, baby in daycare but only days I have class to save money (paying cash no loans). So now trying to study advanced econometric theory while cleaning nonstop cooking dinner, two loads laundry, pay bills, review all investments, trips and falls whining meltdowns tears laughs reading stories helping with homework all while trying to do my own.

In this case it's very tempting to imagine ones life with some middle class desk job dropping my kids off at daycare cooking dinner tidy up sleep. Sounds like a bloody dream. Hire a housekeeper even!

This also doesn't include waking up at 430 am to workout for 45 minutes bc it truly is the only time I can. Nor does it include doing nails twice a week shaving waxing blowdrying hair and prancing around in lingerie to keep our sex life interesting.

But let me tell you this: we have money but paying 75k for my masters plus kids education does not leave us with much. Of course once this is over and the youngest is in school ill start my career. But my heart goes out to all the single moms with little ones who stay at home. Especially those with little to spend. That would be the hardest job in the world.

I was a full time stay at home mom until my kid turned 18 months. Then I started an online business. I thought it was hard being a sahm, well things got ridiculous being a WAHM! Staying up all night working then taking care of my kid on 3 to 4 hours of sleep. Now I have a data entry job I do from home too to help my husbands company.

It's rough, but my husband finally started to notice how hard I work. Which means he might do the dishes every now And then lol

There's a lot of women here complaining about all the work it takes to raise a child, but it's in human nature to be there for a child. Why complain about all the nice things you do for your children?

Sure, the first year is a lot of work with colic that lasts to 3 or 4 months, but that's largely controlled by diet. It is a big task that first year. And it's work thereafter, but if you are afforded a stay at home life, then you should praise your good fortune.


A lot of men just want to raise the child and be equal in the responsibility - but are denied that, and bankrupted, and shamed, and guilted. Why do men need to spend their life savings on a lawyer, and then be stopped dead in their financial tracks with child support payments? How is having a bankrupted father any good idea for the child? Sounds like the women only care about themselves in these situations. Meanwhile dad does care, and is a good father, but is denied his fatherhood.


(not true in all cases just like anything, but this is now the norm for western society)

You can want something, and it can be totally worth it in the long run... and it's still totally sucky at times while you're living it. And it's ok to vent some when something is difficult, right?

Also, a lot of SAH parents are in situations that are a lot suckier than they could be. I've been a SAHM. When I had a good social network of other moms and the ability to get out on my own regularly, it was GREAT. When I was stuck taking care of an infant 24/7 with no social contact outside of my husband and the internet, it was a nightmare (despite the fact that our financial situation was much better during that time).

It's ok to want improvement when a situation is suckier than it needs to be.

op is right and i have young twins. it's ain't hard taking care of your family. quit your bitchin bitches.

Agreed. In Canada, mom's get a year off work to raise a child. After that time, so many of them have no desire to go back to work because they are so set in their ways of being with a baby that they can put down for naps or in swings and sit around and complain about how hard it has been, regardless of the fact that the working father continues to get up in the middle of the night half the time, hold down one or two jobs and relieve mom of duties when he gets home because she is tired from doing all the hard work of sticking children in front of the idiot box. And then the odd one will also comlain that the husband doesn't take her out places. We're fricken dead beat and broke!

In Canada, I'm sick and tired of women crying over how hard being a house mom is. They have that relationship with our children and bitch about it while dad is working two jobs and covering the family stuff when we get home? Eat shit. You need to grow up.

There are also the ones who have to work full time, having someone else raise their children so the kids can have food, clothing and roof over their heads(Most can't make it on a one income budget). It's exhausting but very rewarding except for the fact neither parent will get much of a chance to see the children grow up much and will miss out on a lot of the special moments that only the day cares are paid to receive!

Kudo's to the wonderful men/women and dad's/mom's out there that truly do try their best to be the best for their children!

I am a current stay at home mom, but I start my new job tomorrow for training. I love to stay at home with my kids, but trust me it is HARD. By hard, I do not mean physically, but more mentally. You are always needed and when you aren't there is tattling, bickering, messes, you name it.

I am only going back to work because my kids are now in full time school.

Being at home with your kids is very rewarding, but in no means is it EASY! I guess it would be easy for someone who did not attend to their children's needs, then sure. If you are a good solid parent who cares about the well-being and education of their children, then yes, being a stay at home mom is no walk in the park!