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OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......

 
christian
Suited up and Armored in Christ!

User ID: 6038128
United States
12/06/2012 01:12 AM

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OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
Thank you for your email.

I am sorry that I am unable to respond to your email right now. I am currently out of my office without access to email, cell phone, landline phone, U.S. mail, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Post- It note, smoke signal, or personal contact of any kind. I have been: Raptured!

I do not have an exact date of return at this point. However, I will be returning in approximately seven years. I’ll be the one riding on a (I hope) paint horse (I used to own a paint horse whom I loved with all my heart). So, who knows, maybe he will be allowed to give me one last ride! I will be following behind the Savior Jesus, whom you can’t miss (seriously, EVERY eye will see Him). He will be riding on a white horse, bigger than life, and will be entering from above like a LION!

Ok, back to reality today. I sure wish I could put the above auto-reply in my email today, but alas, I have not heard the trumpet yet. I’m going to have to check into it and see if there is a way to have the above auto-reply put in my email and prompted to begin auto-replying in the event that my email is idle for over a week, let’s say. I am not able to take more than a week at a time for vacation usually so I think this would be a safe time lapse. I really want to figure this out because I don’t want there to be any doubt about where I am after the Rapture.

So, if I do get this figured out and if you happen to get the above auto- reply from my email…first I want to say how sorry I am that you are here and not with me in heaven. Regardless of whatever wild and crazy (or even plausible and acceptable) story you have heard on the news or rumored around town, I have not run off, been abducted by aliens, in hiding, chemically evaporated or anything of the sort. So, don’t believe any of that stuff.

Here’s what happened: I was going about my business as usual…and then suddenly I heard a trumpet sound. It was loud and it was beautiful and it was coming from the sky! Then I heard (although I have never physically heard His voice before, but I just KNEW it was Him) the voice of Jesus saying, “Sandy come up here!” WOWIE…KABAM…as they used to say on the old Batman shows when I was a kid, I was instantly lifted up into the air and met a bunch of other people there, some who had already died on this earth and we all got brand new bodies. No more dry skin, no more hard of hearing, no more heartburn…I mean PERFECT eternal bodies.

I know that the next seven years or so will be the absolute worst of your life. I know you will be afraid, lonely, worried, injured, hungry, depressed, suicidal maybe and probably even angry with me, with yourself, with God even. I’m not certain (told you I’m no Bible scholar), but I don’t think that I will be aware of you or what is happening to you during the Tribulation. But please know that right now, at the moment that I am writing this I am pulling for you and I hope to see you again when this is all over.


[link to www.raptureready.com]
Susie

If you don't stand for your faith, then you won't stand at all....
christian (OP)
Suited up and Armored in Christ!

User ID: 6038128
United States
12/06/2012 01:13 AM

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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
bump
Susie

If you don't stand for your faith, then you won't stand at all....
Troubled Waters...

User ID: 26777640
United States
12/06/2012 02:25 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
peace46
DUST TO GLORY!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28082258
United States
12/06/2012 02:26 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
Love that website

bump
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
12/06/2012 02:29 PM

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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
That's a mistranslation and common mistake...it's rupture, not rapture, be careful what you wish for...
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32382
Canada
12/06/2012 02:34 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
It's crazy to think I'm going to meet with alot of GLP posters someday.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27593113
United States
12/06/2012 02:34 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
I need to write a letter like that as well. I'm hoping all my friends and family make the rapture, but that's not for me to decide. If I would add one more thing to your letter (without sounding bossy), I would warn your readers to NOT TAKE THE CHIP! Because once someone takes that, I think it will be near impossible to enter Heaven...from what I understand. Thanks for showing this letter. :)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25383832
United States
12/06/2012 02:36 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
bsflag get your ass to work
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24908410
United States
12/06/2012 02:59 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
 Quoting: christian


Somebody should send the owner of that website a Strong's concordance and a copy of the following verses from Ezekiel 13.




17 Likewise, thou son of man, set thy face against the daughters of thy people, which prophesy out of their own heart; and prophesy thou against them,

18 And say, Thus saith the Lord God; Woe to the women that sew pillows to all armholes, and make kerchiefs upon the head of every stature to hunt souls! Will ye hunt the souls of my people, and will ye save the souls alive that come unto you?

19 And will ye pollute me among my people for handfuls of barley and for pieces of bread, to slay the souls that should not die, and to save the souls alive that should not live, by your lying to my people that hear your lies?

20 Wherefore thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I am against your pillows, wherewith ye there hunt the souls to make them fly, and I will tear them from your arms, and will let the souls go, even the souls that ye hunt to make them fly.

21 Your kerchiefs also will I tear, and deliver my people out of your hand, and they shall be no more in your hand to be hunted; and ye shall know that I am the Lord.

22 Because with lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad, whom I have not made sad; and strengthened the hands of the wicked, that he should not return from his wicked way, by promising him life:

23 Therefore ye shall see no more vanity, nor divine divinations: for I will deliver my people out of your hand: and ye shall know that I am the Lord.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24908410
United States
12/06/2012 03:28 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
So if we are one of the first ones taken from the field when we are told many times by Christ Himself that a false messiah will come first. Or should we suddenly find that we do not have enough oil and must run out to buy some, what happens when at that time the only way to buy anything is to take the mark of the beast..

If we can't discern between satan and Christ, do we truly believe in Christ after all or will we find ourselves believing in someone else?

Satan is the most beautiful angel ever created by Almighty God. We will need every Word in the little book to stand against him.

2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29219002
United States
12/06/2012 03:29 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
:fgjjkdyetyetuyu:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22342469
United States
12/06/2012 03:32 PM
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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
ISH-KUR can not rapture you. He died or left a long time ago.
Little Miss Sunshine

User ID: 19842971
United States
12/06/2012 03:37 PM

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Re: OUT OF OFFICE………Raptured.......
I love that website!
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