My brother's wife is cheating. How can I get proof? | |
Mickeyblue User ID: 9806228 United States 12/06/2012 05:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1211208 United States 12/06/2012 05:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 12083851 United States 12/06/2012 05:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I would not tell your brother based on that or even mention that scene. A kiss on the check from maybe one of her old friends from high school wanting to catch up...etc etc. Could come into play. But keep your eyes open that's for sure until much better evidence comes along. |
geminilion User ID: 12895036 United States 12/06/2012 05:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | First you need to determine what you saw was not her with a friend or something else innocent. It's easy to deduce a situation with imagination that something wrong is going on. Have you thought of talking to her? Haven't read through thread to see where you are going with this. Be careful you have all the facts before making accusations. ..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way." Heraclitus |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 12585602 United States 12/06/2012 07:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Wow....very few of you have the sense God gave a goose..some are just so nasty minded, like your 13 years old. Others would hate to see someone get in to trouble for something they have been known to do themselves. A couple of you were common sense thinkers ..and your comments well stated. And only one of you offered help and a link. Thank you all.,lol |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1505901 United States 12/06/2012 07:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | For years, my sister-in-law tried to come between me and my husband because she was jealous for his time. She made my life a living hell. She acted like a psycho jealous ex girlfriend who wanted him back, even though she was his sister! She was ALWAYS in our business trying to start fights. The point is, stay out of their business. You could ruin a good marriage over what might be nothing. |
geminilion User ID: 12895036 United States 12/06/2012 08:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Wow....very few of you have the sense God gave a goose..some are just so nasty minded, like your 13 years old. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12585602 Others would hate to see someone get in to trouble for something they have been known to do themselves. A couple of you were common sense thinkers ..and your comments well stated. And only one of you offered help and a link. Thank you all.,lol Whatever happens I hope it was something innocent and all is well. I certainly don't blame your for being concerned, just make sure you have the facts. If you have a friendly relationship with your sister in law maybe you can talk to her. ..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way." Heraclitus |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1528473 United States 12/06/2012 08:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Don't you think that you might be jumping to conclusions here? I mean, talking outside a restaurant, and a kiss on the cheek, does not mean there's an affair going on. If she is having an affair with that guy, then why wouldn't they embrace and kiss on the lips? It could have been someone she knew in school, maybe even dated, and they just happened to end up at that restaurant at the same time, talked about old times and went home? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29232219 United States 12/06/2012 09:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I recommend you stay out of it all Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29134382 it is not your business and you only saw a brief period in time It might NOT be what you think and if you go to your brother and create havoc ; you will come out looking very bad. Stay out of it ; forget it and if she is fooling around; he will find out in good time It's pieces of trash like this that allow evil to happen. Of course you must tell your brother. Of course you must. You should have confronted them on the spot. But since you didn't, tell him straight away. If her kissing some dude was nothing out of the ordinary then he should already be fully aware. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29242845 United States 12/06/2012 09:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I recommend you stay out of it all Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29134382 it is not your business and you only saw a brief period in time It might NOT be what you think and if you go to your brother and create havoc ; you will come out looking very bad. Stay out of it ; forget it and if she is fooling around; he will find out in good time You couldn't be more wrong. I was the one cheated on and believe me I wish people had come to me immedietly. Nothing worse than being the last fool to know when you are the one being jerked around. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23938347 United States 12/06/2012 09:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Judge her reaction, then ask her CASUALLY who the dude was, judge again. Keep a pokerface, keep it light and go home and sleep on it. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23508092 Australia 12/06/2012 10:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23508092 Australia 12/06/2012 10:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Don't confront her outright, just say something like, "Hey I saw you down by (wherever the hell she was) the other day." Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23938347 Judge her reaction, then ask her CASUALLY who the dude was, judge again. Keep a pokerface, keep it light and go home and sleep on it. Or stay right out of her business. A kiss on the cheek and going home seperately, in full view in a town where even by " chance " the sister inlaw drove by slowly enough to note all this.. clearly not an affair and none of anyones business bar the woman. No sister in law has the right to control your friends, family , business associates or business partners. Men kiss on the cheek at parting, it is polite not a fling. If you truly believe it is an affair, tell the brother what u saw and HOW. I am sure he knows all about it as affairs are done in secret. But do not try to stalk or set up this lady, surely that is illegal not just immoral. Wow, just wow. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 19202196 United States 12/06/2012 10:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29184782 United States 12/06/2012 11:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2562242 United States 12/07/2012 07:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 28630651 United States 12/07/2012 09:01 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | follow her like a real spy .pics is what you need..do it fast ,no time to waste! chose the pic that shows better .explain to your brother everything from the beginning.that you want to be sure because you love him and didnt want to make a terrible mistake.but he should know now.he deserves that.after that is for him to do.dont live him alone so he doesnt do anything stupid.and help him afterwards .you are a good brother. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 4537799 United States 12/07/2012 09:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23524705 United States 12/07/2012 09:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I recommend you stay out of it all Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29134382 it is not your business and you only saw a brief period in time It might NOT be what you think and if you go to your brother and create havoc ; you will come out looking very bad. Stay out of it ; forget it and if she is fooling around; he will find out in good time In some familys..you screw over one..you have messed with us all..it affects parents..grandkids...nieces and nephews..and anyone else that cares for that person..It should be nipped in the bud before..she drags him to court and trys to take everything he worked for just so she can screw around..NOT!! Where I come from this is the definition of 'family'. I think you should tell him, and if it were me, I probably would have stopped right there and confronted both of them on the spot. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27667491 United Kingdom 12/07/2012 09:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | a kiss on the cheek? jezuz. it could be absolutely anything BUT what your furtive imagination has conjured up if she IS cheating he will probably find out eventually. and if not, then so what? many spouses KNOW something is going on but turn the other cheek for whatever reason do not bank on him being eternally grateful for you 'letting him know' and what if you are wrong? oops, im sorry i was judge and jury. my bad one kiss on the cheek. sounds like OP is a drama ho ive said this before and i will say this again - glp is chock full of bitter, unlucky-in-love misogynists and this thread with quite a few of its replies is another example |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23524705 United States 12/07/2012 09:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I recommend you stay out of it all Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29134382 it is not your business and you only saw a brief period in time It might NOT be what you think and if you go to your brother and create havoc ; you will come out looking very bad. Stay out of it ; forget it and if she is fooling around; he will find out in good time You couldn't be more wrong. I was the one cheated on and believe me I wish people had come to me immedietly. Nothing worse than being the last fool to know when you are the one being jerked around. True that. |
train User ID: 3582303 United States 12/07/2012 09:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A kiss on the cheek? You would throw her under the bus for a kiss on the cheek by a man you don't even know? Jeez, get a life. If it's eating you up, just ask her. You can ask in a nonincriminating way, like, "I saw you the other day outside of (blank). The guy you were with looks exactly like an old fraternity brother of mine, (blank). Was it?" When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you--You know your nation is doomed. Ayn Rand |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29255733 Philippines 12/07/2012 10:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My heart goes out to your brother OP but you have to be very careful. A few years ago I was driving with my sister and we saw my cousin's husband drive out of a "sex motel" with another girl. My cousin had been very insecure about him since they got married and was alwys saying she was thinking of leaving him. My cousin and I grew up together like sisters so of course I saw red. We raced after him and cut in front of him and I got out of the car and took pictures of them. He was just looking at me dumbfounded. Right then and there I called my cousin, told her what was happening and said I have hard evidence but she didn't say anything. We drove off and less than 10 mins later she called me back and said her husband called her and explained the situation with some BS reason. Long story short, she believed him and distanced herself from our family. We have completely lost touch with her and to make things worse, there are rumors that he hurts her. It haunts me that because I acted in anger, she now has no one to turn to. Think this thru OP. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29133289 Portugal 12/07/2012 10:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A kiss on the cheek? You would throw her under the bus for a kiss on the cheek by a man you don't even know? Jeez, get a life. If it's eating you up, just ask her. You can ask in a nonincriminating way, like, "I saw you the other day outside of (blank). The guy you were with looks exactly like an old fraternity brother of mine, (blank). Was it?" Quoting: train This ^^. In journalism we use this ALL THE TIME to get the info we want, and we know the other side is not willing to deliver. Just use another tip. First you need to bring a subject SHE likes, clothes, fashion, anything. Let her talk about it for some time, and then, without any relation of subject, ask YOUR question, as user above stated. Human brain is not ready to avoid the trap - well, except for politics. Good luck and get proofs before you ruin your brother's life. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 17560134 United States 12/07/2012 11:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I come from a very close family too and we all care about each other, whether things are good or bad. I would tell your brother what you saw and leave the rest up to him. Tell him you are there for him if he needs you, but you are butting out at this point. Your brother's passing "joking" comment about him thinking she is having an affair is VERY TELLING. Add to that the fact her behavior has changed, and you have all the signs, unfortunately. Know that when you tell him, all because you love him, that it may backfire for a while, but in the end he will see that you were just looking out for him. I just found out some horrific info about a most loved family member and confronted the situation over two months ago. Then tshtf REALLY REALLY badly! STILL I have no regrets even though I cry 20 times a day, because it is ALWAYS better to know the truth and learn to deal with it. I would not talk to the sister-in-law AT ALL! She needs to be caught off guard by her husband, if he chooses to confront her. If he chooses to let it be, well, some people would rather live a lie than rock the boat. Best wishes to all. |
TheBiss User ID: 25023924 United States 12/07/2012 11:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | From a Biblical perspective, their vow of marriage is stronger than your familial bond. I would be highly cautious about taking this upon yourself to talk with him. Perhaps you should ask her about it first. "Hey sis, I saw you kissing a guy. What's going on?" [link to www.grainmill.coop] - Bulk foods, long term storage solutions [link to www.CatawbaCoops.com] - Unique A-Frame chicken coop plans |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29273306 South Korea 12/07/2012 11:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 25612238 Canada 12/07/2012 11:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 19129589 United States 12/07/2012 11:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Hire a private detective, if you are serious about getting proof. Sounds like your brother is already a little suspicious, I hold the belief that most people's intuition starts kicking in, they just ignore it. (like your bro) I wouldn't say anything till you have hard proof. Otherwise it will just turn into a he said she said type of thing and usually people will believe the spouse. And then she will drive a wedge between you two. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 28008747 United States 12/07/2012 11:36 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I agree with the mind your own biz reply. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1466889 Let it go... What ur brother doesn't know can't hurt him. Wrong. He should know. She has no right to privacy in such things while he's away. What if it came out that you knew and didn't tell him? It's a difficult situation, but it was created by the wife. The way to face difficult things is to face them, not deny them. Maybe she'll make an excuse to him and get a new respect for the eyes of the townspeople (she doesn't need to know how he knows) and go on the straight and narrow. Or he'll decide to stop working himself to death to support this woman. Either outcome would be preferable to his not knowing at all. |