Ways to get 2k in 5 days?

obvious answer is sell your body on the street corner.

illegal fighting rings, boxing or ufc type stuff?

There is no legal way to do it other than if you have some major skill that folks are willing to pay for or getting donations.

Only other options are to obtain the money illegally. But that is never the right choice. Ask your friends or family for help if it is that desperate - and don't screw them over if they do help - pay back when you say you would

I made that in one day....but my ass really hurt

what you have to do is complex, but brilliant in it's simplicity

you put it on a bird, at an illegal cock fight, at odds of 1679 to 1

now how do you get a bird at those odds?

well, it's simple really. What you do is get a raging bull, stick a few feathers on him, and hang an egg between it's legs, and you're in business.

it will look SO ODD, no-one in their right minds will think it's got a chance, and so it's odds will naturally drift out to 1679 to 1.

you sneak in, put the one dollar bet on, wait for the 'surprise' win (yeah, i know), collect your winnings, then get the fuck out of there before they work out they've been had!

good luck!

(10 bonus points for getting the comedy reference)