Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I don't want to continue bitching and complaining about how it's been hard to just simply do what you guys are saying -- but it just hasn't happened, as much as I want it to.

Thought replacing makes perfect sense for me, we do it all the time. But I still keep reverting back to this negative thought... I can't seem to hold the right opposite thought/word in my head, so I go on ruminating about this: "Fuck, how do I not do that?" Or "Ok, get over it" -- but yet here I am.

Certainly factors in my life that have added to this problem which need correcting, but I just want some type of relief. Or to at least know a direction that provides one without use of drugs.

&(*&(*!!!