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Not Buying Christmas Gifts Until After Dec. 21st

 
Dog_Of_Death
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User ID: 19337877
Canada
12/07/2012 01:55 PM
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Not Buying Christmas Gifts Until After Dec. 21st
Because, y'know.

I'm cheap.
ShenYang
User ID: 28891691
United States
12/07/2012 02:10 PM
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Re: Not Buying Christmas Gifts Until After Dec. 21st
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25672410
United States
12/07/2012 02:11 PM
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Re: Not Buying Christmas Gifts Until After Dec. 21st
Every Canadian I met was cheap too.

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