I've felt more pain and sadness this year than any other year. I'm sure nobody is a stranger to this either. Something has changed in me in the last few weeks, maybe. I feel happy. Years of negative thoughts and a doom n gloom attitude are gone. Albeit I am completely alone. My friends are fake and only come around because I have what they want. No family but a son, but the ex shattered anything more than a visiting relationship with him. I use to have terrible anxiety. even if I feel the sickly sweety wave of a panic attack washing over me its easily handled. No fear of my death. everyone around me has this attitude of impending doom. I did have, but now I am anxious for the future by living today. I do not get angry like before. I don't fight because I can anymore. I treat every girl I'm with like a queen. I treat each person like my best friends. I am completely sincere in all I do.. I don't do anything except for my own self improvement. I am so completely alone but I've never felt so... Content. I feel like there's a raging fire within my chest, and it shall burn away any worry. I am so excited to dominate the next obstacle life decides I need. I feel free. I'm sorry... living in a world of such silence... I feel I had to share.