I'll invite them in and take out the salty left overs.
Rape? I'll use some psychology and tell them I've needed some good loving for a long time. Bring it on.

Then, I'll ask them for 20 bucks cash cause I don't have a pot to pee in.
Then, I'll ask them to join me in reading the bible.
Then, I'll pretend to go into a psychosis of some kind and insist they not leave me alone and that I want to keep them with me.

You think this is better than the bb gun???

I could pull this off. Lol