Why are people mean to the ones that love them the most? | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29376211 Japan 12/08/2012 10:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Because they hate themselves and thus think anyone who loves them must be weak and pathetic? Because they take that love for granted and think they can act in an infantile manner without restraint around those who love them? Because they were abused when young by a loved and trusted person and have trouble separating the emotion of love from the emotion of meanness? All of the above? |
Anodyne339 User ID: 29237353 United States 12/08/2012 11:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29329801 United States 12/08/2012 11:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | well they've got names for many of these things now. My sister has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I believe she is also psychotic, possibly bi-polar. She oscillated between being verbally and emotionally horribly abuse to her family and the most wonderful person in the world for years. We had to cut off contact because she won't get help and we can't take the abuse anymore. Sad part is her poor children don't realize that's not how life is supposed to be. Her husband (their father) left her a few years ago. |
myeyesropenow42 User ID: 2704006 United States 12/08/2012 11:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Because people are seeing each other as the truth of who they are so it can mean one of two things. Either what you are is disturbing to them or what they are is disturbing to them. You know the answer to that because you know yourself Last Edited by myeyesropenow42 on 12/08/2012 11:13 PM |
Ralph--a house dog User ID: 25802009 United States 12/08/2012 11:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | "However, the explanation for deliberately hurting the person you love is far more complex. Certainly, one major factor in hurting the beloved deliberately is related to the central role that mutual dependency plays in love." [link to www.psychologytoday.com] Found a cool site with recording of Willie Nelson singing "You Always Hurt the One You Love", but got a GLP warning in red letters about posting copywrited song lyrics. Oops! Here's the site minus the song; you can look it up. [link to www.elyrics.net] "Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night.....Rage, rage against the dying of the light"-----Dylan Thomas HIS NAME IS SETH RICH [link to biblicalselfdefense.com] [link to forum.1111ers.blog] Always remember that "for the greater good" will not include YOU. "Who decides?" ---Robert A. Heinlein -'Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech.'—Benjamin Franklin [link to www.westcoasttruth.com] The only thing worth paying full retail for is pantyhose. You cannot do all of the good the world needs, but the world needs all of the good you can do. |
Legendary (OP) User ID: 29232119 United States 12/08/2012 11:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Found this in Psychology Today --seems relevant to your question. Here's a snippet from the middle of the article. It goes on to explain further. Quoting: Ralph--a house dog "However, the explanation for deliberately hurting the person you love is far more complex. Certainly, one major factor in hurting the beloved deliberately is related to the central role that mutual dependency plays in love." [link to www.psychologytoday.com] Found a cool site with recording of Willie Nelson singing "You Always Hurt the One You Love", but got a GLP warning in red letters about posting copywrited song lyrics. Oops! Here's the site minus the song; you can look it up. [link to www.elyrics.net] Dependency is the issue with me. I see my Mom buying new cars and house while i have been homeless for 2 years. I am Legendary |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6493463 United States 12/08/2012 11:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Because they hate themselves and thus think anyone who loves them must be weak and pathetic? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29376211 Because they take that love for granted and think they can act in an infantile manner without restraint around those who love them? Because they were abused when young by a loved and trusted person and have trouble separating the emotion of love from the emotion of meanness? All of the above? Those are good. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6493463 United States 12/08/2012 11:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 12582603 Canada 12/08/2012 11:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29311787 Canada 12/08/2012 11:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Dependency is the issue with me. I see my Mom buying new cars and house while i have been homeless for 2 years. Quoting: Legendary Legendary, I saw you posted four threads tonight asking thoughtful questions. It's hard to give good advice without knowing details, but I wanted to applaud your quest for insight and I hope that you find some helpful suggestions. Re. this question, there are lots of good answers here. Also, perhaps you might want to distance yourself from your mother as much as possible until you are feeling stronger. Seek comfort from supportive people in the meantime. You won't be able to help her, or yourself, so long as you are dependent on her. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 12582603 Canada 12/08/2012 11:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If she's buying new cars and a new house and you're homeless that tells you that she doesn't care. This is sad, depressing, and discouraging. You need to find your own strength. You need to focus all your energy on your own life. build yourself up. Don't let your energy get sucked away worrying about why someone doesn't care about you. Let it go. People can't have power over you unless you let them. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 22263508 United States 12/08/2012 11:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 22263508 United States 12/08/2012 11:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Legendary (OP) User ID: 29232119 United States 12/08/2012 11:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Dependency is the issue with me. I see my Mom buying new cars and house while i have been homeless for 2 years. Quoting: Legendary Legendary, I saw you posted four threads tonight asking thoughtful questions. It's hard to give good advice without knowing details, but I wanted to applaud your quest for insight and I hope that you find some helpful suggestions. Re. this question, there are lots of good answers here. Also, perhaps you might want to distance yourself from your mother as much as possible until you are feeling stronger. Seek comfort from supportive people in the meantime. You won't be able to help her, or yourself, so long as you are dependent on her. IM asking for everyone. I am Legendary |
Legendary (OP) User ID: 29232119 United States 12/08/2012 11:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If she's buying new cars and a new house and you're homeless that tells you that she doesn't care. This is sad, depressing, and discouraging. You need to find your own strength. You need to focus all your energy on your own life. build yourself up. Don't let your energy get sucked away worrying about why someone doesn't care about you. Let it go. People can't have power over you unless you let them. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12582603 Says she does. Actions speak louder then words I am all these. I am Legendary |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 19522674 Canada 12/08/2012 11:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was just thinking about this today, so funny. I came to the conclusion that those we treat badly are those that we know truly love us and if we are moody, upset or in a funky mood, we know they will genuinely still love and forgive us. But, it is always a good thing to go back and say sorry and give big hugs. p.s. Anyone else would just sucker-punch us in the face and be done with us. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 29178305 United States 12/08/2012 11:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 17421537 United States 12/09/2012 12:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sounding/pounding board... They can unleash on the ones who love them the most because its their safe zone person. I live it,almost daily because of my daughter and if i dont get away from her i will be in the hospital before long. Im getting older and my nerves/mind-body can no longer do this,im all she has but its killing me inside. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 105726 United States 12/09/2012 12:34 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1513449 Canada 12/09/2012 12:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | We also take their love for granted, we treat them like their always going to be there for us, like we already won their attention so we no longer need to try. We also expect other people to be on the same wave length, some people can handle the abuse and others can't. Theirs no way to gauge how someone else will react. Some people are so lost in their own thoughts they "casually insult" others while unaware of what their saying. Some people are just evil. Some are momentarily evil. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 21160675 United States 12/09/2012 12:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1513449 Canada 12/09/2012 12:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1513449 Canada 12/09/2012 12:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Legendary (OP) User ID: 29232119 United States 12/09/2012 01:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If you desire true insight. Turn it around. Why do people most love the ones who treat them mean? Sounds like you're dealing with mentally disordered people. Narcissists or BPD. Basically these people don't understand love. They just sap attention from relationships. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21160675 Which is like 25% of the population these day's. I am mean to my loved ones and they dont talk to me so i got the reverse. I dont know if i am BP or narcisist i think i will go self diagnos myself on a random website i find in google. I am Legendary |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 25044356 United States 12/09/2012 01:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Legendary (OP) User ID: 29232119 United States 12/09/2012 01:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |