MET A Girl Over Thanksgiving....I STILL Think About Her A Lot

Subjective attachment is either due to foolhardiness or guile.

Say it...you want to bone her real bad.

Although she was one of the hottest girls I've been around, it wasn't even like that...I know, I know.

You have limerence. Just went through it myself. Terrible affliction. Hellish.

YES! That is me to a tee...I don't understand it, i thought i was past the puppy love days...i just don't get it, i've met many girls over the years but NONE have done this to me...it just makes zero sense.

Are you over it now?

barely. the only way to stop it is NO CONTACT.

no texts. no emails. no phone calls.

i really do feel you bro. unrequited love is one of the most hellish experiences a person (especially a man) can go through. people won't understand, only those of us who have experienced it.

wow thanks for helping...it's crazy because when I was around her for, again, only FOUR days, i really didn't feel "it" until just after she left for good. I keep telling myself this is so stupid.

Wanna stuff her turkey, eh old boy?

Wanna gobble her bird? Eh?

Wanna dip your sandwich in her gravy? Eh? Eh?

Wanna warm your drumstick in her oven, mate? nudge, partner, nudge?

Wanna drizzle your gravy over her mashed potatoes?

Do ya?

Dude, how do you know she is not feeling the same way right now? You have her number? Give her a call. Texting and Facebook stuff is impersonal. Don't hide your feelings. You may regret it one day.

There is actually a good chance she does (or did) feel the same but we don't even live on the same continent...I'm finding out more and more I likely have a disorder of being very very infatuated, very very easily.

The girl was a perfect 10, no lie. But I NEVER saw her for one second without makeup...she's very vane, came out of the bedroom in the morning(she was staying in the guest room) looking like a beauty queen...ahhhhhh. Maybe I only see what I want to see, I don't know.

What is this disorder called?

[link to en.wikipedia.org]

limerence

Just out of curiousity, What state do you live in? Your not a teacher are you?

being human.

During the height of limerence, thoughts of the limerent object (or person) are at once persistent, involuntary and intrusive. Such 'intrusive thoughts about the LO ... appear to be genetically driven'[13]: indeed, limerence is first and foremost a condition of cognitive obsession. All events, associations, stimuli, and experiences return thoughts to the limerent object with unnerving consistency, while conversely the constant thoughts about the limerent object define all other experiences. If a certain thought has no previous connection with the limerent object, immediately one is made. Limerent fantasy is unsatisfactory unless rooted in reality,[11] because the fantasizer may want the fantasy to seem realistic and somewhat possible. At their most severe, intrusive limerent thoughts can occupy an individual's waking hours completely, resulting—like severe addiction—in significant or complete disruption of the limerent's normal interests and activities, including work and family. For serial limerents, this can result in debilitating, lifelong underachievement in school, work, and family life. Comparisons made between limerence and substance addiction may draw attention to the constant, free availability of the limerent's "drug of choice," as they are essentially suffering from a chemical imbalance within the brain.

Fantasies that are concerned with far-fetched ideas are usually dropped by the fantasizer.[11] Sometimes fantasizing is retrospective: actual events are replayed from memory with great vividness.

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I keep playing one of the four days over and over and over with absolute amazing clarity...wishing I could go back.

No I'm not a teacher and she's not my student.

People are so soul-sick.

[link to www.youtube.com]

OP, to feel the way you do does not come everyday with everyone you meet. If you like her, tell her. It doesn't mean a relationship has to start, but at least just be straight up with her and tell her that you had a great time hanging out and that even if she has no 'romantic' feelings for you, that you hope to stay in touch. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. What if she really liked you and was just to shy to give you the signs. Just because she is hot does not mean she is secure with herself, she could have been deeply hurt in a previous relationship and not up for the games that often accompany a relationship in the beginning.

You have only ONE chance to make a great first impression on how meeting her made you feel, let her know that... what's the worst that can happen, if she blows you off, you waste no time getting back out there and try to meet someone else. If she feels the same way, you could be well on your way to a wonderful relationship, or at least a solid friendship.

Real men say what they want and usually get it. Go get her!

texting and facebooking is for the 8th grade

if you really like the girl call her or send her a proper email. its far more personal and mature.

everyone texts and facebooks, you need to set yourself apart.

trust me, she'll feel special with a phone call, you may be scared to death to make that call, but she will be beyond excited if you call her and she actually feels the same way as you... fyi, texting and facebooking says you are just one of many. its very impersonal.

I appreciate your input. A couple of things:

My literal exact words to her were what you just said "i had a great time, and let's keep in touch"...i said this as I hugged her goodbye and she felt the same way (if she didn't she's a great actress)...at this point I was only half-way smitten by her, but then when I realized she was going to be half-the-world away, something hit me like a load of bricks and has turned into, what has to be, an unhealthy state of obsession...but when I think of her, i think of THAT day, not any future with her, perhaps mainly because it is almost impossible given the distance apart, etc.

make up can only do so much. if she is pretty with make up and a '10' as you say, then without make up she will still probably be a '10' but a girl next door type of beauty.

the fact that she had herself together and looked beautiful just means she probably really care about how she looked for you. Just my 2cents. Women generally don't go through all the fuss of putting on the war paint and doing the hair unless we like a guy...

and FYI she lives in europe

Yea I know she somewhat 'liked' me...she all but said it. And i'm not one to read into anything at all...lol...i'm a diehard pessimist. But it was just an amazing 4 days, that is all. I need to understand that.

I went through the same thing last month. But he is so not ready for me or a relationship. I have been totally honest with him and he knows how bad I have it. But he has issues he needs to work out. The way I am dealing with it now, is to cut the contact.
OP I can totally relate. I have never felt my heart opening this fast or strongly before, ever.

How do you know she wore makeup (unless it was really heavy)?
I never wear make up and people assume I do all the time. It is just because so many women wear it, they assume you do too. And if you are healthy with good colouring, you must be wearing it. A good diet does more to make you look good than make up ever will.

Hang in there! "Cutting the contact" is what I have done before, after a relationship, albeit an unhealthy one. But this... after just mere days is actually hurting the same or more and I cannot understand it. I understand things (being a GLPer) that most people cannot begin to understand...yet i CANNOT understand how I could possibly feel this way after just days of being around her...i mean it was less than 100 hours!!! It's unfathomable.

tick tock...

like I said, call her. If you don;t get her on the phone send an email and ask her what would be a good time to try to talk on the phone.

It doesn't matter that she is thousands of miles away. If she is the one, then you start this thing. Otherwise your options are to get back out there on the field and wait for this to happen again.

The sooner you get closure on what/how she feels the sooner you can either start getting to know her better or be done with her and move on for your own sanity. The failure comes in taking no action and having only regret and then 'wondering' what if?. Its your call, literally. As a woman, we generally do not do the chasing, nor should we, as men are the alphas. If she is not from America she probably is less apt to be aggressive in chasing a man, which is actually a good thing.

If you got her digits, you need to start doing some dialing. Put your big boy pants on and do it.

I agree. I was just replying to OP's post. OP said she wore make up. Some men like it, some don't. imho, it can only do so much. A beautiful mind will always outshine some sparkly lip gloss or glittery eye shadow.

I appreciate it...I need to sleep on it and make sure this isn't just some unhealthy obsession before I try to delve in any deeper and make the way I feel now even worse...that sounds selfish...but I cannot possibly believe she could feel the way i do, even if she did have a small crush on me.