All hope abandon ye who enter here.

This is a thread designed to invoke thought. I only know my perspective, and the story that has shaped that view. Spiritually I am tired, physically I am tired, and mentally I am tired. The world I live in is not happy nor is it peaceful. The eyes of the child have grown into a jaded viewing station for this robotic lifestyle.

Truth can be ugly. We all are here on this site because we are searching for truth. Why is Disney World the "happiest place on earth?" Is it because it is not real? It is just one place we can escape reality to, to ignore the ugly truths about people.

People are mean. People are hateful. People are selfish. People lie. The list goes on and on.

As a child life seemed so much simpler, safer. I never worried about the web of lies spun through the medium of thought. As a child, the worst thing you had to worry about was a bully.

I went to church. I thought everyone did and it seemed so normal to me. It seemed as if it was somewhere I belonged. Now, church goers are mocked. People of faith are mocked. And now I feel shame where there was no shame before.

The sad truth is this place is poisoned. We are constantly fighting each other over who is right when we should give two shits about arguing in the first place. I think debate is wonderful, however if debate leads to wars of words or even worse, it really is an unnecessary ugly.

I've made many mistakes in my life. Repeating them is insanity. Not learning from them is stupidity. Realizing that my will is flawed is divinity.

When I was happy, I believed in God. Life made sense. When I stopped believing, ignoring my former self, life began unwinding. I no longer was happy. I noticed everything ugly. I let them win.

I know where I stand and where I stood before. I am tired of looking for answers because the only ones we find here are fearful lunatics lost like me. I lost my way.

I care not for the world for the world is not of me. I came from a loving family that is so lost in the hateful world I now detest this place. It is not my place to judge others, I am aware of that.

Where is all this leading to? I have no idea. Maybe this thread will take us to a new direction of thoughts and what not. I really wish I could unsee, unlearn, unknow all this darkness that has pervaded my heart.

Basically, I don't know. I want to know God. I want to live in a peaceful world. I don't want to work so some schmuck can own a Mercedes while I make minimum wage, soulless and spent. I would rather work so I can eat and have a place to live and earn enough for internet.

The self-sustaining lifestyles that we willfully avoid is insanity. We all could get off their system. Their system creates discord. Their system creates disunity. Their system is designed to keep you a slave. Their system is designed to put money in their pockets and keep money from yours. I say it's time to turn our back on them. Let the system fall. We, as people and kindred spirits, will endure. We will take care of each other. We will survive.

I am not a slave. I am a free spirit. I will protect what is mine and what I love. If I choose to believe in God, then I will and you will never ever take that away from me.

I see the hate that they have plugged into the masses minds. I want to fight that evil with all my heart. Love is still real, and we all can bring it back even if we have to fight for it. I think that it is worth fighting for. If we give up, they win. If we stay plugged in, they win.

It has to be meaningful. It has to have purpose. Otherwise, it's all for nothing. That, I believe, is the greatest lie.