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Innovative Government Program

 
It is what it is.
User ID: 16213727
United States
12/09/2012 11:06 PM
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Innovative Government Program
Its been a slow weekend. Heres something for your reading pleasure.



Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
economy, The Govt. has decided to implement a scheme to put
workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs
and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Govt. to be considered for the
SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the
Govt. deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants
& Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any
further by the Govt.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Govt. has always prided
itself on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to
the attention of your local MP, who has been trained to give you all the
SHIT you can handle

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)


PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and
oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.


No link, no nothing, it is what it is.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16213727
United States
12/10/2012 01:49 AM
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Re: Innovative Government Program
its late...yawn

bump