i feel the same bro
You are emanating a nihilistic perception of reality for it is not pointless you just can not comprehend it, I understand I have been where you are.

Example:

"We seem to just be here… we’ve evolved over 4.2 million years and developed a sense of consciousness have advanced culturally. Now, to me, we are simply animals that are too far evolved and just interfere with our ecosystems and set up all these false values and ideals that really make no sense.

This life just doesn’t appeal to me. Look at how we live. Situated in small, isolated nuclear families as opposed to our ancestors who lived in groups of at least 25 and hunted or just spent time communicating with each other, in whatever form.

Now we need to grow up to earn money to be respectable. Wealth is in the hands of a few who usurp the world and create mass poverty in the majority of the third world.
With consciousness we’ve acquired emotions such as attachment, which lead to greed, anger and delusion. Is this normal?

Everything just seems so meaningless to me, why bother even going on? I used to think the reason to live was to help other people or find love. But then I’ve realised, we all just create reasons for existence to be meaningful. Religion is the worst[or best] at this.

How easy would it be to just accept a religion, say Christianity, and believe in it? There you go, instant meaningfulness and a community who share your views. Look a little deeper though, it’s exactly that, a group of people accepting blind meaning to fulfil their wants to explain the unknown.

Those who believe in the ideals such as those of having wealth, a good job and other commodities are just in an eternal meaningless cycle, but due to believing in it they are happy and fulfilled.

Because of this, it is sometimes hard to know that everything is meaningless because I can’t confide in these easy solutions for life’s purpose. I have everything. A home, clothes, luxuries. I should be happy but I’m trapped. Some days I just sit for hours trying to figure all this out.

For now, only my family matters to me, but everything else seems pointless. Everything is impermanent and always changing. Even unconditional love fades. Lifes taught me many lessons so far, but what are they for? Ultimately I just see everything as utterly pointless.

Now don’t tell me to just live in the moment and have fun because I can’t do that. I can’t be blind and ignore my mind.



If anyone would like to add to my argument or counter it with your own views feel free."