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Joke of the day

 
geminilion
We need more cowbell!

User ID: 12895036
United States
12/10/2012 05:20 AM

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Joke of the day
The Welfare Department

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."


The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshitting me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well...you started it."

Was on my Facebook this morning :)

P.S. not bashing people that really do need to help for a bit, I am one.
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Face Palmer
Rated "P" for pathetic.

User ID: 1149868
Germany
12/10/2012 05:22 AM

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Re: Joke of the day
I think Adam told it to Eve first. Cause it really is THAT old.
"The world will soon wake up to the reality that everyone is broke and can collect nothing from the bankrupt, who are owed unlimited amounts by the insolvent, who are attempting to make late payments on a bank holiday in the wrong country, with an unacceptable currency, against defaulted collateral, of which nobody is sure who holds title."

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
geminilion (OP)
We need more cowbell!

User ID: 12895036
United States
12/10/2012 05:23 AM

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Re: Joke of the day
I think Adam told it to Eve first. Cause it really is THAT old.
 Quoting: Face Palmer


LOL....first time I've heard it, thanks for taking the time to point that out though :)
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
mezroy
User ID: 20460818
United States
12/10/2012 11:52 AM
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Re: Joke of the day
how do you make five lbs of fat look good?Put a nipple on it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19980561
United States
12/10/2012 12:07 PM
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Re: Joke of the day
The Welfare Department

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."


The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshitting me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well...you started it."

Was on my Facebook this morning :)

P.S. not bashing people that really do need to help for a bit, I am one.
 Quoting: geminilion


lol.lol.lol.
Good one!
smilesun

User ID: 29549760
Italy
12/10/2012 12:39 PM
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Re: Joke of the day


Joke of the day [link to kiddingyou.net]

Smiley
geminilion (OP)
We need more cowbell!

User ID: 12895036
United States
12/10/2012 01:33 PM

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Re: Joke of the day
rofl
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
closing eyes

User ID: 24721119
United States
12/10/2012 01:42 PM
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Re: Joke of the day
Lol
If you woke up breathing, you have another chance!

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