Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,522 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 2,228,023
Pageviews Today: 3,246,915Threads Today: 749Posts Today: 16,691
11:30 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.

 
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 11:12 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"I am so glad we asked to have the Kawalski's for dinner.... they're so tender and moist and go perfect with the sweet potatoes."
Thor's Hamster

User ID: 27867720
United States
12/10/2012 11:18 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Ïn about 4 hours, there will be a False Flag attack"
 Quoting: Fun-Da-Mental


Yeah, in the bathroom. Uncle Frank will drop a "bunker buster", not flush, and blame it on little Billy who can't object because he has a stuttering problem.
Apollo astronauts couldn't have passed through Van Allen's Belt. Van Allen wore suspenders.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29553455
Ireland
12/10/2012 11:22 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I hope that turkey's halal Mom, I've converted to Islam.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 11:25 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"We can't eat the turkey...I... we're in love."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 12:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Is stuffing supposed to have sawdust in it?"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29268178
12/10/2012 12:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
lets watch re-runs of jimmy saville's, jim l fix it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2074560
United States
12/10/2012 12:18 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Don't worry I took a shit after I washed my hands.
TheBiss
Food Dude

User ID: 25023924
United States
12/10/2012 12:22 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
It's official... we can't have children.
www.TheGrainMillWF.com - Bulk foods, long term storage solutions
www.CatawbaCoops.com - Unique A-Frame chicken coop plans
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29558997
United States
12/10/2012 12:40 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
todays secret ingredient is HEMLOCK
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 01:49 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Well kids, I'd like you to meet your long lost half-sister, Shaniqua Johnson..."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7679944
United States
12/10/2012 03:27 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14105059
United States
12/10/2012 03:31 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
" My balls smell like A1 steak sauce "
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11320967
United States
12/10/2012 03:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Here's a true one for ya'

Large, mostly religious family gathered, including grandma, around the table. Mom is needling 20-something brother about when he's going to settle down with a good Christian woman and give her grandkids. Still needlin'. Oops, again. Bro finally responds "well mom, do bastards count? I've got a couple of those" Cue silence
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 03:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Here's a true one for ya'

Large, mostly religious family gathered, including grandma, around the table. Mom is needling 20-something brother about when he's going to settle down with a good Christian woman and give her grandkids. Still needlin'. Oops, again. Bro finally responds "well mom, do bastards count? I've got a couple of those" Cue silence
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11320967


cruise
..
User ID: 1610510
United States
12/10/2012 03:53 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
This really happened.

One year, the cat tore the cover off the cocktail cheese-sauasage-pickle-bread plate. He licked everything, ate a few sausages and cheese, knocked some on the floor for the dog..

My mother put what was left (some pieces even had pointy little cat toothmarks) back on the plate, covered it up again and put the plate in a cold room not connected to the kitchen. She was busy and just getting the plate away from the cat and out of sight. She wasn't planning on serving it, I swear.

An hour after the family and guests arrived, my cousin walked into the living room carrying the plate, with a mouth full of sausages and cheese and says "You forgot to put this out on the table!"

Mother's eyes got wide and she said "Oh, thank you dear.."

Alway check the cheese plate for cat hair..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28090785
United Kingdom
12/10/2012 03:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"im a woman trapped inside a blokes body" call me davinia from now on
geminilion
We need more cowbell!

User ID: 12895036
United States
12/10/2012 06:08 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Here's a true one for ya'

Large, mostly religious family gathered, including grandma, around the table. Mom is needling 20-something brother about when he's going to settle down with a good Christian woman and give her grandkids. Still needlin'. Oops, again. Bro finally responds "well mom, do bastards count? I've got a couple of those" Cue silence
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11320967


HaHa! My uncle Al was fighting with Aunt Margie and she took her fork and stuck it in his hand...good times!
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29580874
United Kingdom
12/10/2012 06:13 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Grandma's pregnant
 Quoting: zestor


And it's mine.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3558872
United States
12/10/2012 06:19 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Eat up, I bought the groceries with 30 pieces of silver...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29510334
Australia
12/10/2012 06:19 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Pass the tofu please".

because BLECCCCHHHH TOFU!!!!!!111
Floobarb the Argnorf

User ID: 26218433
United States
12/10/2012 06:34 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Am I the only one who can taste the bile?"
The Aluminated One
..
User ID: 1610510
United States
12/10/2012 10:28 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Uncle Bob put his hands in my pants again.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27945631
Canada
12/10/2012 10:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
why isn't a nice girl like you married yet??

you know, youre not getting any younger and your chances of getting married decline as you get older. just saying.......
AC 5341

User ID: 23844668
United States
12/10/2012 10:59 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
on December 20th, our house was right here...
farmerguy

User ID: 29600819
United States
12/10/2012 11:07 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Pass the tofu please".

because BLECCCCHHHH TOFU!!!!!!111
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29510334


Is this tofurkey?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27945631
Canada
12/10/2012 11:12 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
um...nobody has to use the washroom for 30 minutes, do they? cuz i wouldn't go in there for about a hour or so.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16606681
Australia
12/10/2012 11:15 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Caught my girlfriend in the bathroom with the turkey baster.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29541351


Yeah..and yesterday I caught my boyfriend in there..with the turkey...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29446912
United States
12/10/2012 11:27 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Caught my girlfriend in the bathroom with the turkey baster.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29541351


hiding Been a longtime since I saw that thread.
Obiwanbeeohbee

User ID: 28634688
United States
12/10/2012 11:38 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Happy Kwanza!
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something that is completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools" - Douglas Adams
Floobarb the Argnorf

User ID: 26218433
United States
12/11/2012 12:01 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Have an apple. It makes the cheese less binding."
The Aluminated One

News