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Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.

 
zestor

User ID: 3295117
United States
12/10/2012 08:06 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Grandma's pregnant
Prepare to Self-Sustain.
Fun-Da-Mental

User ID: 4433985
Netherlands
12/10/2012 08:09 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"So, yes, I DID vote for Obama"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29138220
United States
12/10/2012 08:12 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I'm fuller than a whore in a mule barn.
Thor's Hamster

User ID: 27858559
United States
12/10/2012 08:13 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
So, Jim...did you ever get that gerbil issue resolved at the hospital?
Apollo astronauts couldn't have passed through Van Allen's Belt. Van Allen wore suspenders.
BRIEF

User ID: 381742
United States
12/10/2012 08:14 AM

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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I'm dieing, pass the potatoes.
 Quoting: RF 1287633


fixed
I never forgive and I never forget

I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked.

Briefcut4892
Swan Song

User ID: 28505443
Australia
12/10/2012 08:14 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Hey somebody switch off the lights, so we can watch all the pretty glowing pacific ocean shrimp that was left over from dinner.
To the world I am just a number, but the Lamb of God He knows me by my name.
Fun-Da-Mental

User ID: 4433985
Netherlands
12/10/2012 08:15 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Hey, have y'all noticed that mom's left breast is bigger than her right one?"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18859652
United States
12/10/2012 08:16 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"we're moving to Texas"

my family (in new york) has never been the same since...and we are here now!!!
BRIEF

User ID: 381742
United States
12/10/2012 08:16 AM

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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Did you know a frozen Turkey thaws out faster if you leave it on a heating vent for 48 hrs?
I never forgive and I never forget

I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked.

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29138220
United States
12/10/2012 08:17 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I'm fuller than a whore in a mule barn.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29138220


Then...a little later, say, "I ate so much I'm sweating like a filthy whore in church!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29529372
Australia
12/10/2012 08:24 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Mom, I slept with Dad and now I'm pregnant"
geminilion

User ID: 12895036
United States
12/10/2012 08:25 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
rofl to everyone.
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Fun-Da-Mental

User ID: 4433985
Netherlands
12/10/2012 08:28 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Ïn about 4 hours, there will be a False Flag attack"
Fast Forward

User ID: 15057455
United States
12/10/2012 08:28 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Dad who was that chickie poo I saw you with?
As mom drops her fork.
Fast Forward
Fun-Da-Mental

User ID: 4433985
Netherlands
12/10/2012 08:28 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Do you people even know who David dIcke is?"

edit for his last name, it puts a 'd' in front...

Last Edited by Fun-Da-Mental on 12/10/2012 08:31 AM
Fun-Da-Mental

User ID: 4433985
Netherlands
12/10/2012 08:30 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Dad who was that chickie poo I saw you with?
As mom drops her fork.
 Quoting: Fast Forward


lmao
Ostria1

User ID: 29325791
Greece
12/10/2012 08:36 AM

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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I have bad news and good news. Bad news is that i lost my job a week ago, good news is that the pilot porn video i posted on my facebook recieved 2369 likes so far!
Ostria
SoMuchSoul

User ID: 10975173
Canada
12/10/2012 08:57 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes
zestor

User ID: 3295117
United States
12/10/2012 09:04 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
You all know we adopted Chewy the poor El Salvador kid last year. Well, we caught that little bastard fucking our poodle last week.
Prepare to Self-Sustain.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 10:28 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"As we gather around the table this Christmas, I'd just like to say... that every single one of you little bastards was conceived right here on this table."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 10:40 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"As you know, Billy's turned 12 this year... and in accordance with the prophecy must be sacrificed to Washeemushu after dinner but before charades. Merry Christmas, Billy!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26165384
United States
12/10/2012 10:44 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Festivus! The airing of greivances!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29552087
China
12/10/2012 10:44 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Half way through the basted, headless whole suckling pig:

"Yeah...about Fido. He didn't really run away last week."
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/10/2012 10:45 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"I'm leaving my spouse for someone I met on GLP..."
Anonymous Coward
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Netherlands
12/10/2012 10:45 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"Don't mind that buzzing gift under the christmass tree, it's only a LITTLE something to go with gramps new tatoo."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 17090286
United States
12/10/2012 11:04 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
"We gather today to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Barack Obama..."
INK3

User ID: 25650162
United States
12/10/2012 11:05 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I read something really interesting yesterday and I' d like to hear what you all think. Billy, go grab my satanic bible from my car.
 Quoting: RF 1287633


ROFLMAO!!!!
"When tyrants tremble in their fear, and hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near, how can I keep from singing"

page7
BG43214
User ID: 18147015
United States
12/10/2012 11:06 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
Hey, I had a chance to give head to a black guy.....boy was his cock BIG.........I almost gagged trying to deep throat it!! and his balls were HUGE also....but what fun to play with!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 455519
United States
12/10/2012 11:08 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
I read something really interesting yesterday and I' d like to hear what you all think. Billy, go grab my satanic bible from my car.
 Quoting: RF 1287633


Good un!! chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29552294
United States
12/10/2012 11:09 AM
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Re: Things you never want to say over a Christmas dinner.
This food sucks.





GLP