Does the Pope wipe his own ass? Serious question

I think he uses a bidet.

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

He has a personal ASSistant for that.

I vote Bidet. He's pretty old.

Hopefully. lol

Why don't you send him a letter and ask , just make sure you address it Your Holiness or he may be offended.

I don't think he has a butthole.

I assume his donikers are immaculate.

You could ask on twitter.

If he is on duty or away from the vatican an altar boy does it, but at home a nun does it for him...

Probably...

There is however a special papal chair with a hole in the seat that is used to check that a presumptive pope has what it takes for the job. The candidate sits down on this chair, so the cardinals can check his goods!

This genital check has been performed since that one time centuries ago when they by mistake elected a woman dressing as a man to be the next pope.

The Pope is the BUTT of your joke!