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Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven

 
We Are G(o)od
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User ID: 29569316
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12/10/2012 05:43 PM

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Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
First, forget everything you thought you knew about x-tianity. Now, replace all the dogma with the idea that all myths are rooted in truth. Now you're getting close. Heaven is not a magical place in the sky, no more than earth is a giant blue marble in space where life happened to occur. Oh wait, what am I saying? Anyways, what does it say in your x-tian book? That I will establish heaven on earth? Yup. I think we all know our planet's national flower. Birds of Paradise.
We Are G(o)od (OP)

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12/10/2012 05:46 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
lol
We Are G(o)od (OP)

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12/10/2012 05:47 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Shall I elaborate on all I know? Honestly, I could write a book.

Last Edited by there is noledge on 12/10/2012 06:02 PM
Anonymous Coward
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Slovakia
12/10/2012 05:49 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Shut up and just do it already. The Paradise.
Alufiend
User ID: 29349120
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12/10/2012 05:53 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
finish pruning my yard first jesus.

damned gardeners always thinking of ways not to work.

"But its the rapture senior"
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

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12/10/2012 05:54 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day. First they made blueprints, which is the stage I am now in.(JK, I'm looking for a girlfriend and then maybe I'll get off my ass and change the world)
Anonymous Coward
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12/10/2012 05:56 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
'Right" you book, First.
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

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12/10/2012 06:02 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Language is stupid. I can look a human being in the eyes and tell exactly what they need - If their eyes are clear, it means they need to get high!
Anonymous Coward
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12/10/2012 06:03 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
ALL? really
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

User ID: 29569316
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12/10/2012 06:06 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Oh ye of no faith.
Anonymous Coward
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12/10/2012 06:08 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Thread: Calling every king and queen, every religious authority, every politician, every banker, every oil company exec, and every proclaimed messiah...
Anonymous Coward
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12/10/2012 06:12 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven


GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED.
Those who mock Him will die in their sins.
pi
User ID: 20063747
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12/10/2012 06:23 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Is that really you jesus? You should read one of my favourite poems, by one of your sons Lewis Carroll. I can't figure out what the meaning of it is, can you?

THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER
By Lewis Carroll

"The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright —
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done —
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun."

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead —
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
If this were only cleared away,'
They said, it would be grand!'

If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose,' the Walrus said,
That they could get it clear?'
I doubt it,' said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

O Oysters, come and walk with us!'
The Walrus did beseech.
A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.'

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head —
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat —
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more —
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

The time has come,' the Walrus said,
To talk of many things:
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
Of cabbages — and kings —
And why the sea is boiling hot —
And whether pigs have wings.'

But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,
Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!'
No hurry!' said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,
Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed —
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.'

But not on us!' the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!'
The night is fine,' the Walrus said.
Do you admire the view?

It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf —
I've had to ask you twice!'

It seems a shame,' the Walrus said,
To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
The butter's spread too thick!'

I weep for you,' the Walrus said:
I deeply sympathize.'
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

O Oysters,' said the Carpenter,
You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none —
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one."
Anonymous Coward
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12/10/2012 06:28 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
no thanks
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

User ID: 29569316
United States
12/10/2012 06:29 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Good triumphs evil, ironically, yadda yadda, oysters are delicious.
pi
User ID: 20063747
Canada
12/10/2012 06:31 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Good triumphs evil, ironically, yadda yadda, oysters are delicious.
 Quoting: Dr. Greenthumb


But it's odd, isn't it, that the oysters haven't any feet? Yet they walk around on the beach, and they are wearing shoes.
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

User ID: 29569316
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12/10/2012 06:33 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Oysters can also make pearls, I guess there's nothing they can't do.
pi
User ID: 20063747
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12/10/2012 06:36 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Oysters can also make pearls, I guess there's nothing they can't do.
 Quoting: Dr. Greenthumb


But, the thing is, real life oysters make pearls, yet do not have feet. Nor do they wear shoes.
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

User ID: 29569316
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12/10/2012 06:40 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Look, I'm not Lewis Carroll, why don't you ask him?
pi
User ID: 20063747
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12/10/2012 06:41 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Well of course you're not him. So I guess then the question becomes, are you the walrus, or the carpenter?
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

User ID: 29569316
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12/10/2012 07:00 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Well I AM human.
pi
User ID: 20063747
Canada
12/10/2012 07:04 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Of course, you're Jesus aren't you? So is Jesus better represented by the walrus, or the carpenter?
Anonymous Coward
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12/10/2012 07:19 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
I'm going to heaven either way so I guess I'll see ya all there. Party on.
lupa14714

User ID: 23350068
United Kingdom
12/10/2012 07:35 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
ok,so where did you and your lights take me for 2 days? and i know the answer.
church of euthanasia.
[link to www.facebook.com]
have just left my paranormal photos on,as I,m leaving soon.some you have to see whole picture,as clipped.
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

User ID: 29569316
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12/10/2012 07:38 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Well the walrus isn't Jesus, that's pretty obvious.
pi
User ID: 20063747
Canada
12/10/2012 07:50 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
I'm going to heaven either way so I guess I'll see ya all there. Party on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17230310


That's the spirit peace

Well the walrus isn't Jesus, that's pretty obvious.
 Quoting: Dr. Greenthumb


Your wording is awfully cluttered and indecisive for the Jesus of Nazareth... is the carpenter the better representative then?
Anonymous Coward
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12/10/2012 07:55 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
well i do enjoy getting high.

i bet getting high with jesus was a trip..

"you thirsty?" - Jesus
"yea hand me that water bottle" - me
"nah, but how bout some wine" - Jesus
"best friends forever" - me
pi
User ID: 20063747
Canada
12/10/2012 07:57 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
well i do enjoy getting high.

i bet getting high with jesus was a trip..

"you thirsty?" - Jesus
"yea hand me that water bottle" - me
"nah, but how bout some wine" - Jesus
"best friends forever" - me
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22523316


No kiddin eh? Smokin' a bowl with Jesus himself... oh we can dream can't we? peace
joelaine421

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12/10/2012 07:58 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven

GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED.
Those who mock Him will die in their sins.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29561688

kind of a crappy god you got there, son
Dr. Greenthumb (OP)

User ID: 29593215
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12/10/2012 08:20 PM

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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
It's my goal to smoke multiple bowls with multiple groups of multitudes. Pi, in Jesus I' time not everything went. In my time, everything goes. It's a slightly different game in a slightly different age with a slightly different message.

Last Edited by there is noledge on 12/10/2012 08:20 PM
pi
User ID: 20063747
Canada
12/10/2012 08:26 PM
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Re: Hello, My Name Is Jesus And I'm Here To Take You All To Heaven
Well I think I've seen all there is to see in this thread...

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