In the ritualized aftermath of a high-profile shooting, there are certain things that absolutely must happen. Obviously, it is very important to explain how the victim’s poor choices led to the tragedy, so that We At Home can feel marginally safer and reassured, because we would never make those bad choices. And, of course, there’s the inevitable fairy tale spun by the National Rifle Association: If only the victim had been armed, she wouldn’t have been a victim. So when NFL linebacker Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend, Kasandra Perkins, last week, the only surprise was that it actually took NRA president Wayne LaPierre several days to come out with his carefully thought-out analysis:
“The one thing missing in that equation is that woman owning a gun so she could have saved her life from that murderer,” LaPierre told USA TODAY Sports on Thursday [...]
“Owning guns is a mainstream part of American culture and it’s growing every day. My God, there’s nothing more mainstream in this country than 100 million Americans who own firearms.”
Golly, if only Kassandra Perkins had known the security of firearms ownership! She might still be alive!
There’s only one small problem with that notion. Perkins and Belcher were both avid shooters, and the couple owned as many as eight guns.
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DECEMBER 10, 2012
BANG-BANG! HE SHOT ME DOWN 1:45 PM DECEMBER 8, 2012
NRA: DESPITE LIVING IN HOUSE FULL OF GUNS, MORE GUNS COULD HAVE SAVED KASANDRA PERKINS
by DOKTOR ZOOM
In the ritualized aftermath of a high-profile shooting, there are certain things that absolutely must happen. Obviously, it is very important to explain how the victim’s poor choices led to the tragedy, so that We At Home can feel marginally safer and reassured, because we would never make those bad choices. And, of course, there’s the inevitable fairy tale spun by the National Rifle Association: If only the victim had been armed, she wouldn’t have been a victim. So when NFL linebacker Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend, Kasandra Perkins, last week, the only surprise was that it actually took NRA president Wayne LaPierre several days to come out with his carefully thought-out analysis:
“The one thing missing in that equation is that woman owning a gun so she could have saved her life from that murderer,” LaPierre told USA TODAY Sports on Thursday [...]
“Owning guns is a mainstream part of American culture and it’s growing every day. My God, there’s nothing more mainstream in this country than 100 million Americans who own firearms.”
Golly, if only Kassandra Perkins had known the security of firearms ownership! She might still be alive!
There’s only one small problem with that notion. Perkins and Belcher were both avid shooters, and the couple owned as many as eight guns.
The night before the shooting, Belcher exchanged text messages with a former college teammate, joking about how he was ready for any future boyfriends of his 3-month-old daughter:
“Yea man…I got about 8 guns now, from hand Gunz to assault rifles for her little bf’s.”
Ha-ha, he was just kidding about waving a gun at his daughter’s boyfriends, of course. That’s just a wacky exaggeration that he’ll never act on, because the next morning he shot her mom nine times and then shot himself dead.
John Lennon was so dumb. It’s just common sense: If we all carried guns at all moments, only bad people would die.
OK, and occasionally children and spouses and delivery people who startle us. But they should have been prepared for a gunfight, right?
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