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Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?

 
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 04:46 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Holy cow...I didn't mean to hijack the thread, lol...sorry guys, guess I needed to yap.
 Quoting: StormeyGoddess


Don't apologize your posts are great! It's likely that most breakups will have fairly typical reasons for them from person to person, but my original query is to the perception of a sudden massive increase in it. Only by hearing personal testimonies may some larger context or pattern be visible. Although many people may appear to have individual stories or events that are attributable to macroscopic details, it may turn out that people are being driven apart through another process that we have not identified.

These relationships may be dying "natural deaths" on the surface but it may be that we have not identified the true root cause.

If everyone who split up from a lasting relationship went on to have a better life as a result that would qualify as people making positive changes in their life. Yet I myself have seen very little evidence of that and in fact it would appear that the more breakups, sex and relationships people have the more miserable and damaged they are becoming. If true it would not represent a positive evolution or change in human behavior, on the contrary it would appear to be very destructive and tragic.
 Quoting: Therapy 20085731


when you are in these types of cycles (breakups, new relationships and never find 'the one'), over time you do become damaged goods.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 04:49 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Is it normal for pre-holidays? Is it something else? What's going on? A week or two ago there was a thread about women's cycles going haywire/doubling up and now it seems people are being left/dumped like crazy. Is it musical chairs where the girls all run to some greener pasture, or earth changes, or all guys suddenly become unloveable or worthless at the same time? What's happening?
 Quoting: Therapy 29639398

Have you seen all the dating sites pushed on tv ad campaigns like its the next best thing? Its like fuck your boyfriend or husband join online dating we can guarantee your perfect match(the juxtaposition being its like the dating site who the fuck is it aimed at? 95% OF THOSE WHO ARE SINGLE KNOW HOW TO PICK UP OR HOLD A RELATIONSHIP its only the other 5% who are painfully shy or just fucking incompetent at engaging socially so who the fuck are the ads targetting
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28090785


my husband and I were noticing the huge increase in all the dating ads, especially the 'christian dating sites' on TV. we were actually laughing because so many people bitch an moan about being married and all its drawbacks, yet dating site use is at an all time high. EVERYONE wants someone, that is clear, yet when they find someone they fuck it up.

I once had a friend who broke up with her boyfriend and then got back together with him only to find out he had joined a dating site. so then she could never really trust him that he was done with 'looking', in fact she found out he went on a couple of dates and the girl was on his facebook. Man, it must suck to be single and looking, its so depressing to think that even if you find someone on one of those places, how do you know they won't keep going back and looking for someone better than you? For me, meeting someone has always been about chemistry; like body language, voice and overall appearance. dating sites seem so vanilla and vacant.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28867210


Thats what i mean loool this is one of my comspiracy hobby horses ie;'are we being split up'?communities are broken next its the family AND THE ABSOLUTE SINISTER ASPECT OF CHRISTOIAN DATING SITES JOINING IN Do these idiots not realise when families are finding it hard to rebuild or work on it for the kids they are actually encouraging the oipposite.God it makes my blood boil I mean yeah christian online dating they would be better spent espousing the bvirtues of the ONE they are supposed to represent not work for satan
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28090785

I try to stay as far away from anything with the word Christian in it as much as I can. They take your money and then convince you that you will find true love on their site. FFS that is not what being a follower of Christ means. Its tragic. And just another sign of the times.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 04:51 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
I kind of figured people would want to stay together for the holidays? xmas and nye?


A woman at work, 33, said many of her friends are dumping their BF's or divorcing their husbands because he lost his job and they do not have their 'fun' money anymore. She was aghast.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 04:52 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
I kind of figured people would want to stay together for the holidays? xmas and nye?


A woman at work, 33, said many of her friends are dumping their BF's or divorcing their husbands because he lost his job and they do not have their 'fun' money anymore. She was aghast.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20559344


Don't let anyone fool you, it all revolves around money.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 04:54 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Is it normal for pre-holidays? Is it something else? What's going on? A week or two ago there was a thread about women's cycles going haywire/doubling up and now it seems people are being left/dumped like crazy. Is it musical chairs where the girls all run to some greener pasture, or earth changes, or all guys suddenly become unloveable or worthless at the same time? What's happening?
 Quoting: Therapy 29639398


This is all truth. Something is up, normally I would chalk this up to the winter months but this year is extra crazy. I've had personal friends who I've known for upwards of ten years completely turn their backs on me overnight within the last 2 months. Truly scary.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 04:55 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
I hear of a lot of guys in their 40s (mid life crisis thing) who are leaving their wives now, usually for someone half their age.
Some women just leaving their husbands and kids, but it seems the majority are guys who found a much younger girl who wants to be taken care of.
Also, seems like as soon as kids are out of school, most couples split. It's pandemic.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29645851


Also, I am hearing that pornography is usually involved.
Nasty, destructive stuff.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29645851


Yup and if you try to suggest stuff like porn is instrumetal in a huge way for the morale decline you get lambasted for 'not being with it' or 'it actually has decreased in countries where porn has been part of culture'(<oh yeah like holland which is in terminal decline.Its STIFF FKIN NIGHTMARE LADIES AND GENTELMEN the world in which is evolving.Oh and heres a good one this makes me chuckle the social and other human rights steering comittees who have the final word in a government advisory capacity suggesting such wise pieces opf shit like 'there is no eveidence that suggests violent graphic pc games dont affect kids@ gimme a break tv ads sellin a pc game ( a gangster dude shooting other gutter rats surrounded by whores glorified,eulogised) now tell me if this isnt a lesson to kids lokk sonny its cool to shoot and you get whores hangin round
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28090785


another great post.. you are spot on. video games are just as evil as p0rn, they are programming and highly addictive. and just take a look at any moran over 40 playing a video game ------> L * O * S * E *R

maybe my standards are a little high, but a guy over 40 who plays video games and is addicted to pr0n is completely useless. we just don't have enough data on all the erectile dysfunction that will be plaguing the youth as they start to age and realize the constant drool, zombie like staring and erectile problems are not going away.

5a
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 04:57 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Personally at a harmonious high with my partner after a tough year. We both decided it was worth it.
Hope others can work through differences, or walk away with out creating more pain.
Henrietta

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12/11/2012 04:57 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Holy cow...I didn't mean to hijack the thread, lol...sorry guys, guess I needed to yap.
 Quoting: StormeyGoddess


Don't apologize your posts are great! It's likely that most breakups will have fairly typical reasons for them from person to person, but my original query is to the perception of a sudden massive increase in it. Only by hearing personal testimonies may some larger context or pattern be visible. Although many people may appear to have individual stories or events that are attributable to macroscopic details, it may turn out that people are being driven apart through another process that we have not identified.

These relationships may be dying "natural deaths" on the surface but it may be that we have not identified the true root cause.

If everyone who split up from a lasting relationship went on to have a better life as a result that would qualify as people making positive changes in their life. Yet I myself have seen very little evidence of that and in fact it would appear that the more breakups, sex and relationships people have the more miserable and damaged they are becoming. If true it would not represent a positive evolution or change in human behavior, on the contrary it would appear to be very destructive and tragic.
 Quoting: Therapy 20085731



I left my husband because I discovered him cheating on me. My life has improved dramatically since leaving him. He was lazy, an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, cheap, selfish, and obviously a liar and cheater. I now have a peaceful home, good friends, money saved from not having to pay for everything (he worked but contributed very little to the household monetarily and upkeep), and most of all, I have my self-esteem back that he did everything in his power to try and destroy. The skank he cheated on me with can have him, he's useless. As is she, she knew he was married. Two peas in a pod.

Last Edited by Henrietta on 12/11/2012 05:00 PM
Henrietta
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 05:01 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
SG,

So very sorry for your experience (and that of his biokids). That sounds like the wrong meds or wrong dosages, it takes a long time to find the sweet spot to actually get something effective that isn't simply sedating someone into drool land. Actually reads more like a mixed episode then a strictly manic or strictly depressive state and those are the hardest to deal with. Meds are great at stopping mania but not so much at getting someone out of depression, and when the meds only serve to take away the highs (that feel good and aren't really considered a problem by those experiencing them) without also getting rid of the lows, nobody wants to stay on them.

What you said -- "It was a nightmare, but he's my husband, I'm supposed to stick by him through thick and thin. That's what you're supposed to do in a marriage ..." sums it all up. Fewer and fewer people feel that way nowadays. That was what I kept coming back to when I experienced a similar situation last year.

To try to draw this back to the OP's topic, this time of year is when people start to get hit by seasonal affective disorder or simply start feeling depressed over the holidays. At such times people are much more willing to take the plunge and leave their spouse/significant other. So many folks have this idealized version of the holidays based on how much they enjoyed them as a kid that they think that same joyfulness should just fall into place around them, and when it doesn't they lash out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26993694


SG, my sympathy to you for your having to deal with such a hard dilemma. All marriages get tested. If you still love him and he poses no danger, try to reach out to him. There have been times in all our lives when it would have been easier to walk away. If there is any love there, it is always worth rescuing. I married for better or for worse and have had my share of both. We do this because we made a promise and a vow and if we hold those true, miracles can and do happen.

I hope each day gets a little easier. Time heals all.hf
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 05:03 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Holy cow...I didn't mean to hijack the thread, lol...sorry guys, guess I needed to yap.
 Quoting: StormeyGoddess


Don't apologize your posts are great! It's likely that most breakups will have fairly typical reasons for them from person to person, but my original query is to the perception of a sudden massive increase in it. Only by hearing personal testimonies may some larger context or pattern be visible. Although many people may appear to have individual stories or events that are attributable to macroscopic details, it may turn out that people are being driven apart through another process that we have not identified.

These relationships may be dying "natural deaths" on the surface but it may be that we have not identified the true root cause.

If everyone who split up from a lasting relationship went on to have a better life as a result that would qualify as people making positive changes in their life. Yet I myself have seen very little evidence of that and in fact it would appear that the more breakups, sex and relationships people have the more miserable and damaged they are becoming. If true it would not represent a positive evolution or change in human behavior, on the contrary it would appear to be very destructive and tragic.
 Quoting: Therapy 20085731



I left my husband because I discovered him cheating on me. My life has improved dramatically since leaving him. He was lazy, an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, cheap, selfish, and obviously a liar and cheater. I now have a peaceful home, good friends, money saved from not having to pay for everything (he worked but contributed very little to the household monetarily and upkeep), and most of all, I have my self-esteem back that he did everything in his power to try and destroy. The skank he cheated on me with can have him, he's useless. As is she, she knew he was married. Two peas in a pod.
 Quoting: Henrietta


glad you are doing better. I think there is a special place for home wreckers and cheaters, its the lowest of low. I'll never understand why people do that to each other.
Therapy
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12/11/2012 05:05 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
I left my husband because I discovered him cheating on me. My life has improved dramatically since leaving him. He was lazy, an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, cheap, selfish, and obviously a liar and cheater. I now have a peaceful home, good friends, money saved from not having to pay for everything (he worked but contributed very little to the household monetarily and upkeep), and most of all, I have my self-esteem back that he did everything in his power to try and destroy. The skank he cheated on me with can have him, he's useless. As is she, she knew he was married. Two peas in a pod.
 Quoting: Henrietta


I think people leaving their partner when their partner is abusive or betrays them is reasonable because abuse and betrayal are in my mind anyway the equivalent of severing the bond in the first place. If you destroy the bond of loyalty and trust in a relationship you don't have any room to complain when the person you betrayed or abused leaves you for their own protection and survival.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 05:05 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Personally at a harmonious high with my partner after a tough year. We both decided it was worth it.
Hope others can work through differences, or walk away with out creating more pain.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21604081


same here.. had a hellish 2011 and a rocky start to 2012. Now its smooth sailing and we've never been happier. I fee like a newlywed again. that's what real love feels like if you weather through the storm.
hf
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 05:07 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
I left my husband because I discovered him cheating on me. My life has improved dramatically since leaving him. He was lazy, an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, cheap, selfish, and obviously a liar and cheater. I now have a peaceful home, good friends, money saved from not having to pay for everything (he worked but contributed very little to the household monetarily and upkeep), and most of all, I have my self-esteem back that he did everything in his power to try and destroy. The skank he cheated on me with can have him, he's useless. As is she, she knew he was married. Two peas in a pod.
 Quoting: Henrietta


I think people leaving their partner when their partner is abusive or betrays them is reasonable because abuse and betrayal are in my mind anyway the equivalent of severing the bond in the first place. If you destroy the bond of loyalty and trust in a relationship you don't have any room to complain when the person you betrayed or abused leaves you for their own protection and survival.
 Quoting: Therapy 20085731


why do people say you just need to forgive?
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 05:08 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Is it normal for pre-holidays? Is it something else? What's going on? A week or two ago there was a thread about women's cycles going haywire/doubling up and now it seems people are being left/dumped like crazy. Is it musical chairs where the girls all run to some greener pasture, or earth changes, or all guys suddenly become unloveable or worthless at the same time? What's happening?
 Quoting: Therapy 29639398


This is all truth. Something is up, normally I would chalk this up to the winter months but this year is extra crazy. I've had personal friends who I've known for upwards of ten years completely turn their backs on me overnight within the last 2 months. Truly scary.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22944917


did they shut you out or are they just having a difficult time? maybe they are hurting?
MarkinAZ

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12/11/2012 05:13 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Seems lots of young women are leaving their "MTV" and "GenX" boyfriends and going out on their own or finding older men (like old enough to be their fathers) to move in with. Seems to be an epidemic of it lately. My daughter is 25 (almost 26) and she swears she won't date guys under 35 and even then it's "dicey" to be able to find one who works, cleans up after himself (or can afford regular housekeeping service to do so), values things like having a nice home and keeping it up, has regular and decent income, has finished college, and who is not married or a victim of multiple divorces which has left him so embittered toward women he might as well be gay! Add to that tall list men who know and understand the word "DUTY" and "Responsibility" and who want/love children and home and family is important to them - and my daughter says that has pretty well reduced her prospects for dating down to three or four men on each of the seven continents! <or less!>
Therapy
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12/11/2012 05:27 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
why do people say you just need to forgive?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28867210


With regular people there is something to forgiveness but if you are dealing with a sociopath, which you usually are if they are liars/cheaters/abusers then forgiveness ends up being a way to enable them in their twisted minds that its okay to harm others and not have to face the consequences of it. Their karma/judgment/whatever is their business but for the abused/betrayed partner it means it will be a cycle that never stops. They can forgive another person in their heart but they'd better get out of that situation for their own safety and survival.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 05:35 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Spring time is coming....

Gotta dust off the whore boots.
StormeyGoddess

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12/11/2012 05:53 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
If everyone who split up from a lasting relationship went on to have a better life as a result that would qualify as people making positive changes in their life. Yet I myself have seen very little evidence of that and in fact it would appear that the more breakups, sex and relationships people have the more miserable and damaged they are becoming. If true it would not represent a positive evolution or change in human behavior, on the contrary it would appear to be very destructive and tragic.

^^^^THIS^^^^^^
"Don't look back, you're not going that way."

"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 06:01 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
The rules now are that anything goes. Group sex, bisexual, gay - it is all cool.

If people "get together" and agree to this contract of anything goes then they may stay friends and lovers. If they start out believing and promising exclusiveness and then it changes along the way after the contract has been drawn up for one of the individuals - then there is trouble.

That's what we are in the midst of obviously. The rules are changing. Everything goes is the norm now. Think of the scene in the movie "Our Idiot Brother" where Ned says it's abeautiful thing that his sister Nat who is a lesbian is able to love everyone sexually.

Those who come together under exclusiveness and then one changes and wants it open - this is where we are at right now. There is freedom to do as one please and so everyone is showing their true cards sexually and there are lots of women who want nothing to do with it.

There is usally no discussion either. All of a sudden one is just secretly doing stuff behind the "old fashion" partners nose and the shtf when he/she gets caught. Most of the time it is the guy who has rewritten the contract rules without his other half knowing.

Before the shtf moment comes there is tons of stuff leading up to it. Lies, deception, manipulation, distance growing, sex going from bad to worse. Name calling and verbal abuse by the partner who is picking fights to get out of the contract anyway and humiliate the person for being closed minded in regards to all this stuff - real fun time for all involved. Stuff that dreams are made of (sarcasm).

Have seen lots of good women drag their spouses to church for counseling, get advise to remain faithful and work through - only to see the guy dig heals in further, get angrier, more deceptive, more unfaithful.

And then there is all the porn men are inspired by messing with their minds and ruining them permanently, never able to love again normally. The foul ideas that come into their brains, stuff they take home and into their bedrooms to assault women with everyday - disgusting. They are getting their bedroom orders from S&M pervs.

Glad women are leaving these men in droves, good ridance.
What a terrible influence these sexual devients and decievers would have on children

Slam the door in the cheats and liars faces. Forgivesness is one thing. Having to spend the rest of your life with scumbags with no character is another.

Pervs running the world, this country, are all fornicators pedophiles, theives and demon worshippers.


So nothing to do with money, jobs, end times or any other bs. Just men being the pigs that they have always been but now - now women, women thank God, being able to financialy leave these unfaithful cheaters and liars, leaches behind.
Therapy
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12/11/2012 06:03 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
So then are people being driven mad by some of the things put forth on this or other forums in the way of poisoned food, "scalar" weapons (still not sure what that means), media programming, etc, to separate from each other? Are they panicking as the economy tanks? Is there some kind of "conspiracy" or agenda to elicit this behavior of people throwing away their relationships and people that love them, the ones doing it for no reason but for selfish passing desires? Is it part of the natural process culminating or beginning at what is presented as the end of the Mayan calendar?

If this were a natural, or unnaturally caused process of people being broken up then it was stand to reason that the breakups were outnumbering the unions. We would expect to see people separating and then staying single.

More often than not people leave relationships because they allowed themselves to be open to new connections to people. They allowed their heart to explore and wander until it had attached to the idea of someone new. Once that happens the love for their original partner is severed, and they no longer see their partner with the eyes of their heart, with love. Once you no longer see someone in love then you have no patience or desire for them. All of the aspects of their personality that you loved as a whole in love become negatives, criticisms. The person can no longer do or say anything right. Even their pleas to not be abandoned are met with disgust as a pitiful needy person acting like a baby. But the disgust the leaving person feels is because their heart and their eyes of love are now seeing someone else as infallible, perfect and exciting in every way. That is the ultimate betrayal and in order for it to happen people have to leave their hearts open to allow for it.

But again, if people are breaking up in droves and not getting together with anyone at all then that could mean something very different is happening, something very interesting.

What is it that could really change the world? What if our perception of the world is based on a mass consensus of what we firmly believe to be reality? What would happen if everyone separated from each other and believed only in their own personal dreams? Would the "consensus" reality dissolve without the energy of all of humanity focusing on its existence?
Renegade (Me too)

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12/11/2012 06:05 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
I'm middle aged but I left him.

With what time is left i had ENOUGH? I'm just sick and tired of taking care of a bum who sits around and does nothing. Won't help with anything around the house and has the nerve to ask me what's for dinner when I get off work. I pay the bills and he spends his social security on himself.

And he thinks his sex is good?!? Just ain't worth it anymore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25672410


American men are terrible in bed. Try a latino. HOT! Hot! HOT!
Who is John Galt?
StormeyGoddess

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12/11/2012 06:08 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
SG,

So very sorry for your experience (and that of his biokids). That sounds like the wrong meds or wrong dosages, it takes a long time to find the sweet spot to actually get something effective that isn't simply sedating someone into drool land. Actually reads more like a mixed episode then a strictly manic or strictly depressive state and those are the hardest to deal with. Meds are great at stopping mania but not so much at getting someone out of depression, and when the meds only serve to take away the highs (that feel good and aren't really considered a problem by those experiencing them) without also getting rid of the lows, nobody wants to stay on them.

What you said -- "It was a nightmare, but he's my husband, I'm supposed to stick by him through thick and thin. That's what you're supposed to do in a marriage ..." sums it all up. Fewer and fewer people feel that way nowadays. That was what I kept coming back to when I experienced a similar situation last year.

To try to draw this back to the OP's topic, this time of year is when people start to get hit by seasonal affective disorder or simply start feeling depressed over the holidays. At such times people are much more willing to take the plunge and leave their spouse/significant other. So many folks have this idealized version of the holidays based on how much they enjoyed them as a kid that they think that same joyfulness should just fall into place around them, and when it doesn't they lash out.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26993694


SG, my sympathy to you for your having to deal with such a hard dilemma. All marriages get tested. If you still love him and he poses no danger, try to reach out to him. There have been times in all our lives when it would have been easier to walk away. If there is any love there, it is always worth rescuing. I married for better or for worse and have had my share of both. We do this because we made a promise and a vow and if we hold those true, miracles can and do happen.

I hope each day gets a little easier. Time heals all.hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28867210


Of course I still love him...he's unreachable at this point, but I haven't given up hope...

He is a danger to himself and everyone around him right now, and I'm praying that maybe, just maybe he'll get to the point where he'll hit bottom and be ready and willing to go to rehab and fix this.

I'm not holding my breathe, mind you, but I'm letting it play out. I haven't spoken to him since late September at this point, other than receiving insane texts and voice messages from him. I understand that he's dealing with a mental disorder and I can live with that. I knew going into the diagnoses that it may take months to get his meds right.

I do believe in miracles, but, I can't stop him from doing what he's doing, so I've done what is necessary to rebuild mine and my kids lives. If he chooses to go to rehab, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work. If he chooses to self destruct, then I am prepared to move on.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. :-) I needed you tonight!!!!
"Don't look back, you're not going that way."

"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
StormeyGoddess

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12/11/2012 06:15 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
why do people say you just need to forgive?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28867210


With regular people there is something to forgiveness but if you are dealing with a sociopath, which you usually are if they are liars/cheaters/abusers then forgiveness ends up being a way to enable them in their twisted minds that its okay to harm others and not have to face the consequences of it. Their karma/judgment/whatever is their business but for the abused/betrayed partner it means it will be a cycle that never stops. They can forgive another person in their heart but they'd better get out of that situation for their own safety and survival.
 Quoting: Therapy 20085731


People must forgive others for themselves more than for the other person. You do not have to let someone who's cheated on you, abused you, etc., back in your life for you to truly forgive them.

I read a quote the other day..."Holding a grudge is like giving yourself poison and expecting the other person to die."

Forgiveness is freeing. Staying with an abusive person is not.
"Don't look back, you're not going that way."

"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Anonymous Coward
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Japan
12/11/2012 06:18 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
What a sad and depressing thread.
verysad
Therapy
User ID: 20085731
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12/11/2012 06:18 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
People must forgive others for themselves more than for the other person. You do not have to let someone who's cheated on you, abused you, etc., back in your life for you to truly forgive them.

I read a quote the other day..."Holding a grudge is like giving yourself poison and expecting the other person to die."

Forgiveness is freeing. Staying with an abusive person is not.
 Quoting: StormeyGoddess


Yes - you have put eloquently what I attempted to but could not.
StormeyGoddess

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12/11/2012 06:22 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Holy cow...I didn't mean to hijack the thread, lol...sorry guys, guess I needed to yap.
 Quoting: StormeyGoddess


Don't apologize your posts are great! It's likely that most breakups will have fairly typical reasons for them from person to person, but my original query is to the perception of a sudden massive increase in it. Only by hearing personal testimonies may some larger context or pattern be visible. Although many people may appear to have individual stories or events that are attributable to macroscopic details, it may turn out that people are being driven apart through another process that we have not identified.

These relationships may be dying "natural deaths" on the surface but it may be that we have not identified the true root cause.

If everyone who split up from a lasting relationship went on to have a better life as a result that would qualify as people making positive changes in their life. Yet I myself have seen very little evidence of that and in fact it would appear that the more breakups, sex and relationships people have the more miserable and damaged they are becoming. If true it would not represent a positive evolution or change in human behavior, on the contrary it would appear to be very destructive and tragic.
 Quoting: Therapy 20085731



I left my husband because I discovered him cheating on me. My life has improved dramatically since leaving him. He was lazy, an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, cheap, selfish, and obviously a liar and cheater. I now have a peaceful home, good friends, money saved from not having to pay for everything (he worked but contributed very little to the household monetarily and upkeep), and most of all, I have my self-esteem back that he did everything in his power to try and destroy. The skank he cheated on me with can have him, he's useless. As is she, she knew he was married. Two peas in a pod.
 Quoting: Henrietta


I'm sorry you had to go through such a terrible experience. Glad to hear you didn't let him destroy you in the process! It seems there are soooo many homewreckers out there...Ugh. ...I try to look at everything from the standpoint of, "What am I supposed to learn in this?"

We are responsible for our actions. I can't let anybody destroy me. I won't ever be bitter or hold a grudge. I am responsible for my actions. I am going to pick myself up and be the same person I've always been, but better off for the lesson...:-)
"Don't look back, you're not going that way."

"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Anonymous Coward
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Finland
12/11/2012 06:26 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
OP, have noticed the same, definitely!

Lots of stuff going on, people getting freed of all sorts of "programs" etc.

So many relationships are built on dependencies etc, time for everything like that to go... <3
StormeyGoddess

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12/11/2012 06:27 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
I kind of figured people would want to stay together for the holidays? xmas and nye?


A woman at work, 33, said many of her friends are dumping their BF's or divorcing their husbands because he lost his job and they do not have their 'fun' money anymore. She was aghast.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20559344


This is happening a lot. One person loses their job and the relationship is over. That's horrible. I would never leave someone for losing a job and if they went into a crazy depression over it, I'd try to get them help. Eventually, they'll probably snap out of it...just gotta get through it.
"Don't look back, you're not going that way."

"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2012 06:27 PM
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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
This is just one sign of impending doom. Young chicks are all screwing one another, anything with a penis and then finding some older sugar daddy to act out their father issues with. Meanwhile, the older ladies are screwing young guys who are screwing anything with a vagina as well as one another. Group sex, swingers, "open relationships", it's all the new "norm".

It is like Sodom and Gomorrha now. I can't really see our species lasting much longer. The fabric of decency is gone and the Boomers, Gen X and Millennials all inhabited worlds where life was a big drug and alcohol fueled orgy. Whether a pandemic or natural disasters, the Almighty is sure to begin exterminating our species soon. We have become useless slaves to our dopamine and pleasure reward centers. "Traditional" societies are either just as corrupt or will become as corrupt in time.

Pole shifts really don't sound that bad to be honest. We all need a serious wake up call.
amywood71605

User ID: 7652871
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12/11/2012 06:31 PM

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Re: Are wives/girls leaving their husbands/boyfriends in droves right now?
Not leaving my husband, =), but I will say that we have been arguing more than usual lately. Normally we don't fight at all, or about stupid stuff, but these last few weeks have been so stressful - car went off the road, unexpected expenses there, trying to finish xmas stuff, etc. it's not that bad for us though, we make it a point to talk about things at the end of the day so we aren't going to bed mad at each other - I think that's the key.
"Live each day like it's your last, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching."

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