The Doomer's Creed.

This is my tomato plant. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My tomato plant is my best friend. It is my life. I must always be ready to take it inside, and must always keep it outside otherwise.

My tomato plant, without me, is useless. Without my tomato plant, I am useless. I must know my tomato plant's wants and needs. I must water my tomato plant daily.. I must sing to my tomato plant. I will...

My tomato plant and myself know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we buy, the cans we stock, or the shelters we build. We know it is the tomatoes grown that counts. We will grow many...

My tomato plant is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will treat it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its leaves, its stems, its vines and its roots. I will keep my tomato plant clean and calm, even as I am clean and calm. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God, I swear this creed. My tomato plant and myself are the survivors of the apocalypse. We are the masters of our homesteads. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until the radiation has cleared and there are no mutants, but peace!