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my neighbor steals my newspapers

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25998001
United States
12/13/2012 12:27 AM
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my neighbor steals my newspapers
So, I have finally found out where my paper has been disappearing to. my neighbor has been stealing it. Sometimes it is there so maybe he puts it back. Well yesterday I got up early, went outside, and attached some fishing line to the paper, and let out some line until I was hidden by the corner of my house. I waited. Sure enough in a few minutes I could hear someone approaching. you should have seen the look on his face when I screamed at the top of my lungs and simultaneously jerked the paper out of his hands. I think he shit his pants, and the look on his face was priceless. So I asked him, "why are you taking my paper, why don't you buy your own?" He didn't have an answer. I told him the next time it happened it wouldn't be fishing line I was using, a gun would be involved. I think he got the message.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28749409
United States
12/13/2012 12:29 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
How dare him steal your propaganda!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1439176
United States
12/13/2012 12:30 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
You so macho!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9788321
United States
12/13/2012 12:33 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
Fake. Nobody reads newspapers anymore.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29628367
United Kingdom
12/13/2012 12:36 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
lol at threatening to kill him for stealing your news paper. Classic Americanism.
Dr. AculaModerator
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User ID: 270625
United States
12/13/2012 12:45 AM

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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
How dare him steal your propaganda!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28749409


I had a subscription to a local paper

10 bucks a year... delivered in the mail once weekly...

well I stopped getting it mid year...

I gave them a month to get it to me... after no paper...

I called them up and told them I hadn't received it in a month...

If they were unable to deliver I wanted a refund... I would just get the other local paper...

Didn't matter to me... The only reason I had a subscription was to let me cat shit on it... cheaper than litter and my Cat didnt care whose newspaper it was shitting on.

I never had any more problems and received a year free

cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18252780
United States
12/13/2012 12:51 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
If you actually pay for AP MSM lies then you got robbed twice and deserve it for having down syndrom.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15751650
Canada
12/13/2012 12:52 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
well, apparently you can report them to police. at least, in my city, you can. I was filling out a police report for stolen property and it had a category for newspapers and when I asked the cop, he said it was for neighbours stealing papers. LOL
Dr. AculaModerator
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User ID: 270625
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12/13/2012 12:54 AM

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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
well, apparently you can report them to police. at least, in my city, you can. I was filling out a police report for stolen property and it had a category for newspapers and when I asked the cop, he said it was for neighbours stealing papers. LOL
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15751650


I believe... dont quote me... but stealing any mail... even if its junk mail... is a Federal Offense

lol
wisc_natureboy

User ID: 28859998
United States
12/13/2012 01:00 AM

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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
So, I have finally found out where my paper has been disappearing to. my neighbor has been stealing it. Sometimes it is there so maybe he puts it back. Well yesterday I got up early, went outside, and attached some fishing line to the paper, and let out some line until I was hidden by the corner of my house. I waited. Sure enough in a few minutes I could hear someone approaching. you should have seen the look on his face when I screamed at the top of my lungs and simultaneously jerked the paper out of his hands. I think he shit his pants, and the look on his face was priceless. So I asked him, "why are you taking my paper, why don't you buy your own?" He didn't have an answer. I told him the next time it happened it wouldn't be fishing line I was using, a gun would be involved. I think he got the message.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25998001


That's awesome OP. Funny story. ;-`)
.
-
.

We all breathe the same air.
.-.. --- ...- . / .- .-.. .-..
(love/all)
ChipModerator
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User ID: 18591269
United States
12/13/2012 01:01 AM

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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
well, apparently you can report them to police. at least, in my city, you can. I was filling out a police report for stolen property and it had a category for newspapers and when I asked the cop, he said it was for neighbours stealing papers. LOL
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15751650


I believe... dont quote me... but stealing any mail... even if its junk mail... is a Federal Offense

lol
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


Not sure if the newspaper is considered mail...but considering the amount of federally funded psyop horseshit in the news these days you might be onto something.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Dr. AculaModerator
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User ID: 270625
United States
12/13/2012 01:05 AM

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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
well, apparently you can report them to police. at least, in my city, you can. I was filling out a police report for stolen property and it had a category for newspapers and when I asked the cop, he said it was for neighbours stealing papers. LOL
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15751650


I believe... dont quote me... but stealing any mail... even if its junk mail... is a Federal Offense

lol
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


Not sure if the newspaper is considered mail...but considering the amount of federally funded psyop horseshit in the news these days you might be onto something.
 Quoting: Chip


more than you can shake a stick at

blink
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26978749
Canada
12/13/2012 01:10 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
Every time he takes your paper leave a bag of flaming dog shit on his front door.

And only when he takes your paper.

See if you can get a laugh out loud holiday experience featuring a neighbor hood rivalry that will even have grandma laughing in tears! Fun for the whole family.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25192764
United States
12/13/2012 01:14 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 25998001
United States
12/13/2012 01:15 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
the thought had crossed my mind to open it up, drop in a dog turd, and re roll it for him to open when he took it. Yes Dr. Acula, after we read the paper it is used for the dog to pee on, similar to you using your's for your cat. Sometimes the dog peeing on it is the only interesting thing about the paper that day
Thor's Hamster

User ID: 27870846
United States
12/13/2012 01:15 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
Fake, but funny! 5*s for creativity. Good stuff.
Apollo astronauts couldn't have passed through Van Allen's Belt. Van Allen wore suspenders.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29612777
United States
12/13/2012 01:17 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
He stole your newspapers? That is just crazy. Sounds like the guy is a little off his nut.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 25998001
United States
12/13/2012 01:18 AM
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Re: my neighbor steals my newspapers
Fake, but funny! 5*s for creativity. Good stuff.
 Quoting: Thor's Hamster


nope it is actually a true story.

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