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Why are some guys so jealous?

 
Barbie Chaos
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12/13/2012 03:34 PM
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Why are some guys so jealous?
My boyfriend used to trust me completely but lately he is being way too "protective" ...

I would never cheat on him because he is the love of my life. I've never loved someone as much as I love him.

Everything started a couple of months ago. I went to the movies with a friend because he was studying for the finals. I met a guy and I was talking to him. I was just talking because it was an interesting conversation.. I wasn't flirting or anything.... anyways, after we finished talking I kissed him on the cheek ... Apparently one of my boyfriend's friend saw me ...

When I arrived to my apartment I texted my bf to let him know that I was in my apartment but he didn't say anything... The next day he confronted me ... He told me that I had no shame .... He actually didn't insult me but he was mad... I tried to explain him what happened and I thought he had understood because after my explanation he hugged me and told me that he was sorry..

But now he calls me so many times when I am not with him ... it doesn't annoy me so much because I like to talk with him but it's just that I feel like he is not trusting me like he did before...

Another incident took place last night... We were at a party and I was just socializing ... I was talking to some guys about the french final exam and we were laughing and stuff and I grabbed the hand of one of them because I was explaining something ... my boyfriend saw us and he made a very cute angry face and it made me laugh when I saw him... We went outside and he told me that I shouldn't be playing with him.... He never insults me.

I'm not sure if his friends are telling him bad things about me or what but he has changed a little bit... he is having trust issues ..... btw , I used to date one of his friends but that was before I met him.
Vegetable season
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
12/13/2012 03:35 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Maybe he's pregnant...or just cheating on you
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Evil Cretin

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12/13/2012 03:36 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You kissed a guy on the cheek that you just met? I find that curious.
Evil Cretin
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

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12/13/2012 03:37 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You kissed a guy on the cheek that you just met? I find that curious.
 Quoting: Evil Cretin


What? I always kiss strangers...and hold their hands...hell I even fuck them too.
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
HI.Lander

User ID: 28896397
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12/13/2012 03:39 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
From now on you must wear a burka and have zero contact with other men.

No talking. No eye contact. Nothing.

:)
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -- Marcus Aurelius

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
ten of wands

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12/13/2012 03:40 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You're laughing at him for 'making a cute angry' face?

Total passive-aggression you're showing. You're clearly getting off on piquing his jealousy.
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
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12/13/2012 03:40 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
From now on you must wear a burka and have zero contact with other men.

No talking. No eye contact. Nothing.

:)
 Quoting: HI.Lander


No, guys are jealous because we have to work and work and talk and talk just to get laid, but all a woman has to do his spread her legs...she doesn't even have to say anything...it's too easy for women to get a lay and it drives guys nuts.

Last Edited by BRIEF on 12/13/2012 03:41 PM
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/13/2012 03:41 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
kiss on the cheak is fine.. holding dudes hand is fine...


where is the line?

if you give a dude a beejay... is that okay?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18401048
United States
12/13/2012 03:42 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i stopped at "kissed him on the cheek".

there you have it
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 03:42 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You kissed a guy on the cheek that you just met? I find that curious.
 Quoting: Evil Cretin


Yep.
Actions have reprocusions.
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
12/13/2012 03:43 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
kiss on the cheak is fine.. holding dudes hand is fine...


where is the line?

if you give a dude a beejay... is that okay?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28994274



With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
HI.Lander

User ID: 28896397
United States
12/13/2012 03:44 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
From now on you must wear a burka and have zero contact with other men.

No talking. No eye contact. Nothing.

:)
 Quoting: HI.Lander


No, guys are jealous because we have to work and work and talk and talk just to get laid, but all a woman has to do his spread her legs...she doesn't even have to say anything...it's too easy for women to get a lay and it drives guys nuts.
 Quoting: BRIEF


Ha! This is so true.
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -- Marcus Aurelius

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 03:45 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Jealousy is insecurity. It is Ego in many cases--someone has what I don't have or what I want. It is the strongest emotion in the envy hate family. Most humans have this malady.
DanG
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12/13/2012 03:48 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?


INSECURITY


Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 03:49 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Why single out guys? I've seen more crazy females than guys when it comes to jealousy but hey guess what I'm A Guy what would you expect?

OP is it a problem living with narrow vision because of your sex?
HI.Lander

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12/13/2012 03:51 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i stopped at "kissed him on the cheek".

there you have it
 Quoting: Oyster


Depending on where she lives that might be normal. I lived in Hawaii for a long time and it's normal there to kiss a person on the cheek when greeting them, even for the first time.

Guys kiss girls, and the girls kiss guys and girls. I remember when I first moved there and I went out with some work friends and we bumped into these chicks they new, who were drop dead gorgeous btw.

They introduced me and all 3 hotties smiled, said hello and leaned in for the kiss. I thought to myself... "I'm going to really like it here" LOL
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -- Marcus Aurelius

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9788321
United States
12/13/2012 03:59 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He got upset because these so-called friends of yours would fuck you faster than an F-16 if you gave them the opportunity.

Your boyfriend, being a man, knows what these other men really want when you dangle your goods in front them like a piece of meat. "Socialization" with the opposite sex is a euphemism for flirting.

Allowing these other men to shower you with their subconscious sexual affections makes your boyfriend feel as though he's not satisfying you.

It makes your boyfriend feel like less of a man if you are constantly seeking the company of other men to keep yourself "happy".

If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/13/2012 04:02 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i stopped at "kissed him on the cheek".

there you have it
 Quoting: Oyster


Depending on where she lives that might be normal. I lived in Hawaii for a long time and it's normal there to kiss a person on the cheek when greeting them, even for the first time.

Guys kiss girls, and the girls kiss guys and girls. I remember when I first moved there and I went out with some work friends and we bumped into these chicks they new, who were drop dead gorgeous btw.

They introduced me and all 3 hotties smiled, said hello and leaned in for the kiss. I thought to myself... "I'm going to really like it here" LOL
 Quoting: HI.Lander


i want to go to there
Prostetnik

User ID: 29782568
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12/13/2012 04:02 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He either feels guilty because he is cheating. He may be looking for a way to dump you. Or, and this is more likely, he is a control freak who wants to own you. If he is a control freak, he will one day become violent.
Tantalus

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12/13/2012 04:03 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Yeah, your actions were unacceptable. You dont kiss a guy that you just met on the cheek. Honestly, that is disrespectful to your relationship, as well as, it gives this guy that you kissed the wrong impression. It seems you like to play games. I also question your level of maturity. You need to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend and just accept the fact that you are really just not interested in an exclusive relationship. Your actions imply that you are "keeping your options open". By not insulting you, your boyfriend is attempting to show you that he respects you, and is trying to understand why you would do these things. You are "testing" him. I will reference my reply to another thread in response.

The original post was this:

This lovely lady was developing a soft spot for me, and was pulling out every stop to see me, not to mention text me whenever she could. Why? Because I was using a secret mind control strategy to make her fall for me. I can't reveal my KFC secret recipe here, but let's just say I have it down to a fine art in knowing how to ignite specific emotions within a woman.

But as smart as I thought I was, in stealthily seducing this lovely woman, I think I fucked it all up because I replied with a text, which seemed a little too obvious that I had developed feelings for her (but I did, and that's where I effed up).

I basically thanked her for wishing me a happy birthday and said she was a very nice lady, but I should have kept it to the bare minimum because now obviously she's aware I like her and that means I've lost the challenge / mystery factor. Fuck.

So no contact from her since the 15th, and this is the worst aspect of it, because if you leave it too long, the window of opportunity closes and they start to lose interest in you. In order for a woman to really miss you, you need to have a deep intimate connection with her, but I was only just getting to know this chick, and now she's gone.

Bollocks.

I don't want to ask her outright, I never do that with a woman; I prefer to get them attracted to me and keep it that way. That's how I feel secure that a woman is into me and only me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25896891


And my reply was this:

I think its stupid how people cannot be real with one another anymore. How, in order to attract a mate, we must play some stupid deliberate game.

You think you must be a "mystery" to attract a woman. That is just plain stupid. I guess you are not confident enough in yourself to show and be just who you are. You must hide it, and let a woman assume what she wants about you. When you leave room for assumption, you open the door for mistrust. It seems that you are playing for an advantage over a woman, not to be on the same level, as far as communication, with her.

I just be myself. I dont want a woman who is so used to playing games that me being direct and honest is looked at as a sign of weakness. I am confident enough in myself and my abilites that I can hold the interest of the right woman.

Granted, life, in most cases, requires these types of games to be played. I will play the games of life in my everyday persuit of carear progress, and capitol gain, but at the end of the day, when I come home, I dont want to play games. I just want to come home to a woman that I can be honest with. I struggle and play games with the rest of the world, not with my woman. She is my sanctuary, where I can just be myself. Understand?
 Quoting: Tantalus



I think you just need to Grow Up!!!
"Those who would sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither"
--Benjamin Franlkin

No one ever said freedom was safe. Upon true understanding of the concepts of freedom, you shall realize that freedom is the most dangerous choice of lifestyle. There are no guarantees in freedom but those one provides for themselves, at their own will. True freedom comes with extreme personal risk. Are you willing to take the risk?

Thread: No One Ever Said Freedom Was Safe - A Short Thesis on Gun Control

------------------------
Other Interesting Threads by Tantalus:
Thread: The Real Secret of the Pentagram - Venus Transit - 6/6/12 - and ISON
Thread: Anunnaki, Nibiru, Brown Dwarfs, and Gravitational Time Dilation
Thread: Amazing Connection!! The Great Pyramid was a Weapon. Valles Marineris the Result?
MultiStrada

User ID: 25674130
United States
12/13/2012 04:06 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
kiss on the cheak is fine.. holding dudes hand is fine...


where is the line?

if you give a dude a beejay... is that okay?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28994274



 Quoting: BRIEF


laughlaugh
Meggarea

User ID: 1585244
United States
12/13/2012 04:07 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He got upset because these so-called friends of yours would fuck you faster than an F-16 if you gave them the opportunity.

Your boyfriend, being a man, knows what these other men really want when you dangle your goods in front them like a piece of meat. "Socialization" with the opposite sex is a euphemism for flirting.

Allowing these other men to shower you with their subconscious sexual affections makes your boyfriend feel as though he's not satisfying you.

It makes your boyfriend feel like less of a man if you are constantly seeking the company of other men to keep yourself "happy".

If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9788321


This person is wise. I'd throw you a green if you weren't AC.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/13/2012 04:08 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He got upset because these so-called friends of yours would fuck you faster than an F-16 if you gave them the opportunity.

Your boyfriend, being a man, knows what these other men really want when you dangle your goods in front them like a piece of meat. "Socialization" with the opposite sex is a euphemism for flirting.

Allowing these other men to shower you with their subconscious sexual affections makes your boyfriend feel as though he's not satisfying you.

It makes your boyfriend feel like less of a man if you are constantly seeking the company of other men to keep yourself "happy".

If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9788321


This x 2.
HI.Lander

User ID: 28896397
United States
12/13/2012 04:12 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i stopped at "kissed him on the cheek".

there you have it
 Quoting: Oyster


Depending on where she lives that might be normal. I lived in Hawaii for a long time and it's normal there to kiss a person on the cheek when greeting them, even for the first time.

Guys kiss girls, and the girls kiss guys and girls. I remember when I first moved there and I went out with some work friends and we bumped into these chicks they new, who were drop dead gorgeous btw.

They introduced me and all 3 hotties smiled, said hello and leaned in for the kiss. I thought to myself... "I'm going to really like it here" LOL
 Quoting: HI.Lander


i want to go to there
 Quoting: Oyster


chuckle
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -- Marcus Aurelius

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26447781
United States
12/13/2012 04:18 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He cares for you and doesn't want to share. What's hard to understand?
He knows that ALL guys are going to try and get at you. It's not there fault just the way it is.
When you let guy's touch you or even give them a big friendly smile, most men will take it further from there and your boyfriend is well aware what's going through their heads and is feeling threatened, so he should.
Either keep the lines of communication open with him or let him go, then you can flirt all you want. Because that is exactly what it is.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29705149
United States
12/13/2012 04:23 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He got upset because these so-called friends of yours would fuck you faster than an F-16 if you gave them the opportunity.

Your boyfriend, being a man, knows what these other men really want when you dangle your goods in front them like a piece of meat. "Socialization" with the opposite sex is a euphemism for flirting.

Allowing these other men to shower you with their subconscious sexual affections makes your boyfriend feel as though he's not satisfying you.

It makes your boyfriend feel like less of a man if you are constantly seeking the company of other men to keep yourself "happy".

If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9788321


x3 - I wonder how you'd feel if your partner kissed and held hands with someone else.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 05:48 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Yeah, your actions were unacceptable. You dont kiss a guy that you just met on the cheek. Honestly, that is disrespectful to your relationship, as well as, it gives this guy that you kissed the wrong impression. It seems you like to play games. I also question your level of maturity. You need to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend and just accept the fact that you are really just not interested in an exclusive relationship. Your actions imply that you are "keeping your options open". By not insulting you, your boyfriend is attempting to show you that he respects you, and is trying to understand why you would do these things. You are "testing" him. I will reference my reply to another thread in response.

The original post was this:

This lovely lady was developing a soft spot for me, and was pulling out every stop to see me, not to mention text me whenever she could. Why? Because I was using a secret mind control strategy to make her fall for me. I can't reveal my KFC secret recipe here, but let's just say I have it down to a fine art in knowing how to ignite specific emotions within a woman.

But as smart as I thought I was, in stealthily seducing this lovely woman, I think I fucked it all up because I replied with a text, which seemed a little too obvious that I had developed feelings for her (but I did, and that's where I effed up).

I basically thanked her for wishing me a happy birthday and said she was a very nice lady, but I should have kept it to the bare minimum because now obviously she's aware I like her and that means I've lost the challenge / mystery factor. Fuck.

So no contact from her since the 15th, and this is the worst aspect of it, because if you leave it too long, the window of opportunity closes and they start to lose interest in you. In order for a woman to really miss you, you need to have a deep intimate connection with her, but I was only just getting to know this chick, and now she's gone.

Bollocks.

I don't want to ask her outright, I never do that with a woman; I prefer to get them attracted to me and keep it that way. That's how I feel secure that a woman is into me and only me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25896891


And my reply was this:

I think its stupid how people cannot be real with one another anymore. How, in order to attract a mate, we must play some stupid deliberate game.

You think you must be a "mystery" to attract a woman. That is just plain stupid. I guess you are not confident enough in yourself to show and be just who you are. You must hide it, and let a woman assume what she wants about you. When you leave room for assumption, you open the door for mistrust. It seems that you are playing for an advantage over a woman, not to be on the same level, as far as communication, with her.

I just be myself. I dont want a woman who is so used to playing games that me being direct and honest is looked at as a sign of weakness. I am confident enough in myself and my abilites that I can hold the interest of the right woman.

Granted, life, in most cases, requires these types of games to be played. I will play the games of life in my everyday persuit of carear progress, and capitol gain, but at the end of the day, when I come home, I dont want to play games. I just want to come home to a woman that I can be honest with. I struggle and play games with the rest of the world, not with my woman. She is my sanctuary, where I can just be myself. Understand?
 Quoting: Tantalus



I think you just need to Grow Up!!!
 Quoting: Tantalus




I forgot to mention that the guy I kissed was gay
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22022484
United States
12/13/2012 05:52 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
My boyfriend used to trust me completely but lately he is being way too "protective" ...

I would never cheat on him because he is the love of my life. I've never loved someone as much as I love him.

Everything started a couple of months ago. I went to the movies with a friend because he was studying for the finals. I met a guy and I was talking to him. I was just talking because it was an interesting conversation.. I wasn't flirting or anything.... anyways, after we finished talking I kissed him on the cheek ... Apparently one of my boyfriend's friend saw me ...

When I arrived to my apartment I texted my bf to let him know that I was in my apartment but he didn't say anything... The next day he confronted me ... He told me that I had no shame .... He actually didn't insult me but he was mad... I tried to explain him what happened and I thought he had understood because after my explanation he hugged me and told me that he was sorry..

But now he calls me so many times when I am not with him ... it doesn't annoy me so much because I like to talk with him but it's just that I feel like he is not trusting me like he did before...

Another incident took place last night... We were at a party and I was just socializing ... I was talking to some guys about the french final exam and we were laughing and stuff and I grabbed the hand of one of them because I was explaining something ... my boyfriend saw us and he made a very cute angry face and it made me laugh when I saw him... We went outside and he told me that I shouldn't be playing with him.... He never insults me.

I'm not sure if his friends are telling him bad things about me or what but he has changed a little bit... he is having trust issues ..... btw , I used to date one of his friends but that was before I met him.
 Quoting: Barbie Chaos


stfu
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 05:52 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You kissed a guy on the cheek that you just met? I find that curious.
 Quoting: Evil Cretin


I was not flirting ...
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28769045
Switzerland
12/13/2012 05:54 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
here in switzerland is is normal to kiss a member of the opposite sex three times. left cheek, right cheek, left cheek... no big deal. you could also be shaking their hand while doing it, or putting your hand on their shoulder.

some men even do it. no, not only gay men, straight me, but it is more so among men and women...

there could be a few reasons. sometimes jelousy is from insecurity, and sometimes it is because they themselves are doing something wrong, so they assume you are too. guilty conscious
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 05:54 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You're laughing at him for 'making a cute angry' face?

Total passive-aggression you're showing. You're clearly getting off on piquing his jealousy.
 Quoting: ten of wands


The thing is that he is so cute and his face made me laugh because it was so cute... but yes, I do love to annoy him sometimes.
Vegetable season

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