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Why are some guys so jealous?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28769045
Switzerland
12/13/2012 05:55 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
depending on the situation, i will do this with people i only just met.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 05:56 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
kiss on the cheak is fine.. holding dudes hand is fine...


where is the line?

if you give a dude a beejay... is that okay?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28994274


No, i haven't done that ...
Vegetable season
crestedone

User ID: 21416459
United States
12/13/2012 05:58 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
if you saw him kiss a strange girl on the cheek or hold her hand would you be ok with that and if he dismissed it by making a cute face to you when he knew it upset you, would you be ok?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28769045
Switzerland
12/13/2012 05:59 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
after reading some of your other comments here op, i think you might be subconsciously testing him. you said you like to provoke him a bit (annoy him were your words i think)...

you want him to be an alpha man, but he is acting beta when he is jealous, so you continue to test him, and even increse the tests upon him failing. hopefully he will alpha up, or he will push you to lose attraction for him.
Helkuit

User ID: 28469279
New Zealand
12/13/2012 05:59 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You need to teach your BF who is boss.

Buy a feeldoe, use it with/on him. You can thank me later.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:01 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i stopped at "kissed him on the cheek".

there you have it
 Quoting: Oyster


Depending on where she lives that might be normal. I lived in Hawaii for a long time and it's normal there to kiss a person on the cheek when greeting them, even for the first time.

Guys kiss girls, and the girls kiss guys and girls. I remember when I first moved there and I went out with some work friends and we bumped into these chicks they new, who were drop dead gorgeous btw.

They introduced me and all 3 hotties smiled, said hello and leaned in for the kiss. I thought to myself... "I'm going to really like it here" LOL
 Quoting: HI.Lander


Exactly .... I was born in Spain and people do kiss strangers... it is a sign of respect and friendship.
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17299182
United Kingdom
12/13/2012 06:02 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i bet you would give another guy a blowjob then wonder why your boyfriend is jealous. Its quite simple stop giving him valid reasons to be jealous. younger women seem to be wired to continually stress out men.For example being closed about intimate issues,lack of openess and in general a lack of comittment to a relationship.

I just got into an argument with my gf because she wouldn't answer simple questions, like where she was most the day. Why hide such basic stuff?, I know she isn't a cheater or anything like that but mainating a relationship requires the bare minimum of reassurances.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:02 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You need to teach your BF who is boss.

Buy a feeldoe, use it with/on him. You can thank me later.
 Quoting: Helkuit


what's that?
Vegetable season
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:03 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
if you saw him kiss a strange girl on the cheek or hold her hand would you be ok with that and if he dismissed it by making a cute face to you when he knew it upset you, would you be ok?
 Quoting: crestedone


Well.... it depends.
Vegetable season
Seeker of Truth
'Be the love that you are.'

User ID: 29617380
United States
12/13/2012 06:03 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Wait, where is the thread about someone asking what they should do when they saw a friend's gf getting a peck on the cheek? Find that thread and you'll know why your bf is going off. Seems his friend that saw you is filling his head.hf
'Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.' - Dr. Seuss
'love has no opposite as it is the divine solvent that ends duality.' - m'Lord
'Be the love that you are' -m'Lord
The amount of love and good feelings you have at the end of your life is equal to the love and good feelings you create during your life.- mine

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7138989
United States
12/13/2012 06:04 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
From now on you must wear a burka and have zero contact with other men.

No talking. No eye contact. Nothing.

:)
 Quoting: HI.Lander


No, guys are jealous because we have to work and work and talk and talk just to get laid, but all a woman has to do his spread her legs...she doesn't even have to say anything...it's too easy for women to get a lay and it drives guys nuts.
 Quoting: BRIEF


Ha! This is so true.
 Quoting: HI.Lander


^^^^

Getting hit on is a mere walk in the park for a woman. She does nothing and she gets hit on. So much in fact that it may annoy her. Some, or it seems most women are quite affected by the fact that get so many advances, it makes them a completely different person with very divided attention.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24011342
United States
12/13/2012 06:05 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You kissed a guy on the cheek that you just met? I find that curious.
 Quoting: Evil Cretin


I was not flirting ...
 Quoting: Barbie Chaos


Are you the picture in the avatar...if so, then I understand the jealousy. If you are not, then no, I don't understand the jealousy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7138989
United States
12/13/2012 06:05 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
lol, like jealousy is the name of the game in the wild. I dont know why women think it can just go away.

In nature animals fight tooth and nail just to get laid, often submitting to multiple partner sex, even fuckin homosexuality just to attract bitches.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7138989
United States
12/13/2012 06:06 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
lol, like jealousy is the name of the game in the wild. I dont know why women think it can just go away.

In nature animals fight tooth and nail just to get laid, often submitting to multiple partner sex, even fuckin homosexuality just to attract bitches.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7138989


what I mean is that yea, for women they've got it all.

But anyway, what's another thing is mere circumcision does quite a number on men ...
Helkuit

User ID: 28469279
New Zealand
12/13/2012 06:07 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
You need to teach your BF who is boss.

Buy a feeldoe, use it with/on him. You can thank me later.
 Quoting: Helkuit


what's that?
 Quoting: Barbie Chaos


Google....
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:07 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
after reading some of your other comments here op, i think you might be subconsciously testing him. you said you like to provoke him a bit (annoy him were your words i think)...

you want him to be an alpha man, but he is acting beta when he is jealous, so you continue to test him, and even increse the tests upon him failing. hopefully he will alpha up, or he will push you to lose attraction for him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28769045


I annoy him because he makes me laugh.... but he never gets angry because he is very patient .... I usually argue with him when I'm bored... not loudly... for example if I get bored I would start talking about Twilight and how it is better than the movies he likes...etc..

but maybe you are right...maybe i subconsciously do that.
Vegetable season
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
12/13/2012 06:09 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Yeah, your actions were unacceptable. You dont kiss a guy that you just met on the cheek. Honestly, that is disrespectful to your relationship, as well as, it gives this guy that you kissed the wrong impression. It seems you like to play games. I also question your level of maturity. You need to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend and just accept the fact that you are really just not interested in an exclusive relationship. Your actions imply that you are "keeping your options open". By not insulting you, your boyfriend is attempting to show you that he respects you, and is trying to understand why you would do these things. You are "testing" him. I will reference my reply to another thread in response.

The original post was this:

This lovely lady was developing a soft spot for me, and was pulling out every stop to see me, not to mention text me whenever she could. Why? Because I was using a secret mind control strategy to make her fall for me. I can't reveal my KFC secret recipe here, but let's just say I have it down to a fine art in knowing how to ignite specific emotions within a woman.

But as smart as I thought I was, in stealthily seducing this lovely woman, I think I fucked it all up because I replied with a text, which seemed a little too obvious that I had developed feelings for her (but I did, and that's where I effed up).

I basically thanked her for wishing me a happy birthday and said she was a very nice lady, but I should have kept it to the bare minimum because now obviously she's aware I like her and that means I've lost the challenge / mystery factor. Fuck.

So no contact from her since the 15th, and this is the worst aspect of it, because if you leave it too long, the window of opportunity closes and they start to lose interest in you. In order for a woman to really miss you, you need to have a deep intimate connection with her, but I was only just getting to know this chick, and now she's gone.

Bollocks.

I don't want to ask her outright, I never do that with a woman; I prefer to get them attracted to me and keep it that way. That's how I feel secure that a woman is into me and only me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25896891


And my reply was this:

I think its stupid how people cannot be real with one another anymore. How, in order to attract a mate, we must play some stupid deliberate game.

You think you must be a "mystery" to attract a woman. That is just plain stupid. I guess you are not confident enough in yourself to show and be just who you are. You must hide it, and let a woman assume what she wants about you. When you leave room for assumption, you open the door for mistrust. It seems that you are playing for an advantage over a woman, not to be on the same level, as far as communication, with her.

I just be myself. I dont want a woman who is so used to playing games that me being direct and honest is looked at as a sign of weakness. I am confident enough in myself and my abilites that I can hold the interest of the right woman.

Granted, life, in most cases, requires these types of games to be played. I will play the games of life in my everyday persuit of carear progress, and capitol gain, but at the end of the day, when I come home, I dont want to play games. I just want to come home to a woman that I can be honest with. I struggle and play games with the rest of the world, not with my woman. She is my sanctuary, where I can just be myself. Understand?
 Quoting: Tantalus



I think you just need to Grow Up!!!
 Quoting: Tantalus




I forgot to mention that the guy I kissed was gay
 Quoting: Barbie Chaos


I think maybe your boyfriend is too and he's jealous that he didn't get some of that...offer a threeway
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Helkuit

User ID: 28469279
New Zealand
12/13/2012 06:11 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
I think maybe your boyfriend is too and he's jealous that he didn't get some of that...offer a threeway
 Quoting: BRIEF


Yep, this 100%. He wants a slice of the man pie too.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:13 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He got upset because these so-called friends of yours would fuck you faster than an F-16 if you gave them the opportunity.

Your boyfriend, being a man, knows what these other men really want when you dangle your goods in front them like a piece of meat. "Socialization" with the opposite sex is a euphemism for flirting.

Allowing these other men to shower you with their subconscious sexual affections makes your boyfriend feel as though he's not satisfying you.

It makes your boyfriend feel like less of a man if you are constantly seeking the company of other men to keep yourself "happy".

If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9788321


I know they would LOL... but my bf is supposed to trust me I've never done anything out of the ordinary ... the guy I kissed was gay ... and I was holding the guys hand at the party because I was telling him that I felt like waiting for someone outside the bathroom and grab them, force their head into the toilet bowl and flush the toilet with their own hand... ( because I was telling them that it boiled me blood when some people didn't flush the toilet.)

But I understand what you are saying ... but i am not constantly seeking the company of other men.
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7138989
United States
12/13/2012 06:14 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
here in switzerland is is normal to kiss a member of the opposite sex three times. left cheek, right cheek, left cheek... no big deal. you could also be shaking their hand while doing it, or putting your hand on their shoulder.

some men even do it. no, not only gay men, straight me, but it is more so among men and women...

there could be a few reasons. sometimes jelousy is from insecurity, and sometimes it is because they themselves are doing something wrong, so they assume you are too. guilty conscious
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28769045


ok but I guess being that in the USA it's not really normal, only for let's say hispanics... it would come off as flirting.

Because she has a choice of who to give the kiss to and who isn't.

Plus also being that it's a Sexual/or gender related activity, ie guys don't kiss each other like that. Only women to women (more often) and women to men... and only certain men who are to be cognized "as men". WHich means.. the ones you dont kiss on the cheek aren't as "manly?" I mean, and also, more manly = more sexy to women.. whatever that means.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1490522
United States
12/13/2012 06:15 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Quit mind fucking him... Simple isn't it.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:17 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He cares for you and doesn't want to share. What's hard to understand?
He knows that ALL guys are going to try and get at you. It's not there fault just the way it is.
When you let guy's touch you or even give them a big friendly smile, most men will take it further from there and your boyfriend is well aware what's going through their heads and is feeling threatened, so he should.
Either keep the lines of communication open with him or let him go, then you can flirt all you want. Because that is exactly what it is.
 Quoting: JeepersCreepers


I don't want to let him go haha and I'm not flirting on purpose ... but the way you explained it made me understand everything much better .
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7138989
United States
12/13/2012 06:18 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
if people in this country are having these kinds of problems in relationships, it says a lot about what is happening to this country as a whole and gender dynamics/sexual dynamics. Sociopolitically too.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:19 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
here in switzerland is is normal to kiss a member of the opposite sex three times. left cheek, right cheek, left cheek... no big deal. you could also be shaking their hand while doing it, or putting your hand on their shoulder.

some men even do it. no, not only gay men, straight me, but it is more so among men and women...

there could be a few reasons. sometimes jelousy is from insecurity, and sometimes it is because they themselves are doing something wrong, so they assume you are too. guilty conscious
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28769045


Yeah it is normal for me too.... and I think he is insecure because his friends are probably telling him bad things about me .
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7138989
United States
12/13/2012 06:23 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
teasing, flirting, lead ons, all that definitely can lead to sex.

YOu think it's just "a joke" and "not serious?" What do you think it can lead to, before you know it? Sex as a "joke"? Yea right, try and stop yourself before you get there and gotten all horny and bothered by the sexy jokes. Men use "sexual connotations" as seduction techniques because women often do not care as much about details but "feeling", ie lead a woman's emotions (not the same as gut instinct or "intuition" at all!) to think/emote the sexual, associating himself with the act of sex to the woman such that sex with the guy is not far off since the woman associates INTIMACY with the man.

Duh...
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:24 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i bet you would give another guy a blowjob then wonder why your boyfriend is jealous. Its quite simple stop giving him valid reasons to be jealous. younger women seem to be wired to continually stress out men.For example being closed about intimate issues,lack of openess and in general a lack of comittment to a relationship.

I just got into an argument with my gf because she wouldn't answer simple questions, like where she was most the day. Why hide such basic stuff?, I know she isn't a cheater or anything like that but mainating a relationship requires the bare minimum of reassurances.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17299182



No, i wouldn't give a blowjob to another guy .... and I don't think that Kissing a gay guy on the cheek is a valid reason... I am very opened with him.

You can't ask you gf that question ... It can make her feel that you don't trust her... unless she just wants to annoy you and most women like to annoy their boyfriends... in that case she will not tell you and she will let you know that she is not happy with what you are saying but inside she will be laughing and probably loving you a bit more because you made her laugh inside.
Vegetable season
Nev6502

User ID: 19492756
Canada
12/13/2012 06:25 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
He got upset because these so-called friends of yours would fuck you faster than an F-16 if you gave them the opportunity.

Your boyfriend, being a man, knows what these other men really want when you dangle your goods in front them like a piece of meat. "Socialization" with the opposite sex is a euphemism for flirting.

Allowing these other men to shower you with their subconscious sexual affections makes your boyfriend feel as though he's not satisfying you.

It makes your boyfriend feel like less of a man if you are constantly seeking the company of other men to keep yourself "happy".

If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9788321


I know they would LOL... but my bf is supposed to trust me I've never done anything out of the ordinary ... the guy I kissed was gay ... and I was holding the guys hand at the party because I was telling him that I felt like waiting for someone outside the bathroom and grab them, force their head into the toilet bowl and flush the toilet with their own hand... ( because I was telling them that it boiled me blood when some people didn't flush the toilet.)

But I understand what you are saying ... but i am not constantly seeking the company of other men.
 Quoting: Barbie Chaos


If you understand why he felt that way, then why did you post this thread?

Your reply takes nothing away from the last line "If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.". I'd almost certainly expect that your boyfriend

How hard is it to understand that you don't just kiss friends if you're in a North American relationship. Whether they are gay or not -- maybe he didn't know.

In either case -- you've proven a lack of maturity on this thread (you get a kick out of stressing him out??) and so I wonder why I bother... stars

Why don't you do both of you a favor and smarten up or go live under the freedom of not being in a relationship so that he doesn't have to stress out so much over a girlfriend that obviously refuses to meet him half way.
Barbie Chaos (OP)

User ID: 29374820
Puerto Rico
12/13/2012 06:26 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
Wait, where is the thread about someone asking what they should do when they saw a friend's gf getting a peck on the cheek? Find that thread and you'll know why your bf is going off. Seems his friend that saw you is filling his head.hf
 Quoting: Seeker of Truth


exactly... i think he is filling my boyfriend;s head... I still don't know if the guy that told him about the kiss was my ex...
Vegetable season
StormeyGoddess

User ID: 22004193
United States
12/13/2012 06:26 PM

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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
i stopped at "kissed him on the cheek".

there you have it
 Quoting: Oyster


Yep, it really is THAT simple.

He got upset because these so-called friends of yours would fuck you faster than an F-16 if you gave them the opportunity.

Your boyfriend, being a man, knows what these other men really want when you dangle your goods in front them like a piece of meat. "Socialization" with the opposite sex is a euphemism for flirting.

Allowing these other men to shower you with their subconscious sexual affections makes your boyfriend feel as though he's not satisfying you.

It makes your boyfriend feel like less of a man if you are constantly seeking the company of other men to keep yourself "happy".

If you want to be a socialite for pleasure, stay single.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9788321


^^^^This^^^^^

It is disrespectful when you're in a comitted relationship to go out with people of the opposite sex and engage in kissing other people...even if they're gay, even if...whatever. Grow up. It's not difficult. If you're in a relationship, those things are just not acceptable...
"Don't look back, you're not going that way."

"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”
Nev6502

User ID: 19492756
Canada
12/13/2012 06:27 PM
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Re: Why are some guys so jealous?
PS obviously you have trust issues of your own if you're not simply asking him what you're asking us.