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Honestly, I just made this post because I wanted to read bad stuff and I wanted to have more bad karma .... the same happens with all of my other posts... but I guess you can be right .. I used to be fat till 9th grade... I lost like 50 pounds... and i've been losing more weight since then... I guess I can be insecure sometimes because i know that i should stop losing weight but I am terrified of being fat again...etc..
Quoting: Barbie Chaos ...what exactly is it that terrifies you? do you know what it is? being fat is an external 'expression', what is this heaviness which imo. you think you can't 'handle'?
When i was fat I was kind of bullied .... and my family would tell me things... not my parents but my uncles and aunts and grandparents... and when I lost the weight I started to receive a lot of good attention and everyone was so happy around me... in school i started to make more friends and i didn't have any friends when i was fat.....
some very wrong things happened in high school after i lost weight though... very wrong... but I kind of accepted them because those things made me feel attractive... but i don't want to talk about those things....
etc...
... you don't need to talk about those things.
..,, attractive in whose eyes? in the eyes of those who did you wrong?
it may sound strange, generally beings like you have deep insights into different areas concerning the greater spectrum of life. as such a kind of being at your young age, it's not easy to differentiate between identities which grow by either 'good' or 'bad' external experiences.
your core, the entity/being you really and truthfully are will never be lost, but can you remember what this core is? most don't, because of obvious reasons (at least i think it's obvious to you)
i guess at the moment you are kind of stuck, with people, with circumstances, with thoughts, with feelings, with 'energies'.
can you imagine what would happen when you'd cut all ties with all 'friends' for a certain time? it may be unrealistic just now, but it's certainly possible.
people like you tend to intermingle/entangle themselves with numerous 'events' at once - one event more different than the other - and this at times when solitude would be needed, to realign ones self with ones very own core / to heal. this may seem that it needs a certain kind of 'strongness' or 'power' to go this way, and i can truthfully say that imo. you have that 'strongness' or 'power'. You don't need strongness or power from an external source, you never needed that in the first place.
Namaste
