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Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me

 
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 05:44 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Women can be the most cruel and impatient unloving etc mostly towards men because they been taught men are sub human and for some stupid reason bought it
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 05:45 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
shut up get over the bitch and move on with your life

you sound like a weak knee'd pussy who can't handle living without someone else in your life

take the winter off work and go snowboarding or surfing in mexico, join a MMA gym and train 6 hours a day, or bike from nyc to cali and raise money for cancer
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29253904


I don't 'need' someone in my life... This just happened about an hour ago. And it's not just her, it's everything. Of course my relationship with her was the most important. I'll get over her, and her me.

It just really sucks when you love someone so much, and to hear them tell you you're a POS in very descriptive ways. To tell me I used her that I never loved her that I ruined her life. I can only think she's wanted this for awhile, maybe I just gave her to ease to go ahead with it.

And I'm not a pussy by any means. Love hurts worse than any wound.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844


OP it sounds like she loves you just as much. If she said those things to you she was feeling insecure, she wouldn't have said things like that if she has no feelings for you and wants to break up with you.

I bet you 2 will be back together by tomorrow but hopefully sooner. It sounds like you are attached to one another.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24063348


I want this and don't all at the same time. Is this true? Should I just forgive what shes said to me? She's said these thigns before when shes been mad at me too... Should I just forgive her time and time again, each time she goes off the deep end?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844



Well, you expect her to forgive you when you are being mean and act like nothing happened.

You made a big point of saying you were not nice to her either but didn't think you were as bad as she was.

Chances are your words and actions hurt her just as much or more than hers hurt you. She wouldn't have lashed out if she wasn't hurting. She wouldn't be hurting if she didn't love you.

The choice is yours. You can refuse to forgive to feel superior and be alone and miserable or choose to reach out to her and see if you guys can work it out. Try apologizing first (even though you think you were not as bad) because that will let her guard down to be able to communicate. Explain the meds, not smoking, the business thing - and apologize for taking it out on her. Get some counseling if you decide to stick it out.

Honestly this may not be the best time to quit smoking. There's a thread somewhere on here about how smoking can help with respiratory/asthma stuff. Not saying it's a good thing to keep smoking but right now it might be a compromise worth making to keep your head on straight and get through a rough time.

What kinds of things do you say and do to her that you think are not so bad and she should tolerate?

What kinds of horrible things does she say to you that you are not sure you can forgive? Maybe it hurts so bad because there is truth in it.

hf
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 05:47 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Question for the OP. I highlighted my question from your post.






I know this isn't the best place to put this, but...

I got sick a little over a week ago with some upper resp infection. I couldn't breathe so I threw down my smokes and that was it, I was quitting smoking cigs... Then my Dr prescribed me prednisone cuz I was having a hard time breathing, and that along with nicotine withdrawls has turned me into a complete asshole...

Then my partner loses a really big account at work, so I decide to give my job up...
I can't have him working against me all the time, losing accounts and money.... Then to top all this off, my fiance just BLOWS the fuck up on me saying some of the most hurtful and hateful things I've ever heard from anyone...

She says i've been an ass for two days, so its ok for her to blow up like this... So she then leaves me... I thought she was my soulmate, I really really love her and will miss her so much! I can't even type this without crying, life sucks so bad.

I really hope the world ends on December 21st so this pain will go away.

Not sure why I am posting this, I guess just to get it out. I just can't believe the hateful things she said, making me out to be the devil... I even treated her pretty good during this rage fit from the prednisone and nicotine withdrawls... I might have been a little btit of an ass here and there, but nothing how she just treated me.

She really stuck the knife in and turned it.

I'm sure the trolls will enter, guys if you like kicking someone when theyre down, go ahead i guess.
 Quoting: Why 29700844

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29704407


Well...I just noticed that exact same thing and until now,no one has answered your question.
So, OP, is your partner,as you call it earlier,a he or a she? Or is this some bullshit story?...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25024030


What are you talking about? My PARTNER is my BUSINESS PARTNER that just ruined a HUGE account of ours, and HE'S done this sort of thing before so I'm thinking of leaving OUR company.

My FIANCE is a woman and I am a man. Clear it up some? I thought I wrote it out pretty clearly?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844


I think you could have used another words to describe,like, "my WORK partner". Thank You OP and sorry.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29700844
United States
12/13/2012 05:51 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
...


I don't 'need' someone in my life... This just happened about an hour ago. And it's not just her, it's everything. Of course my relationship with her was the most important. I'll get over her, and her me.

It just really sucks when you love someone so much, and to hear them tell you you're a POS in very descriptive ways. To tell me I used her that I never loved her that I ruined her life. I can only think she's wanted this for awhile, maybe I just gave her to ease to go ahead with it.

And I'm not a pussy by any means. Love hurts worse than any wound.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844


OP it sounds like she loves you just as much. If she said those things to you she was feeling insecure, she wouldn't have said things like that if she has no feelings for you and wants to break up with you.

I bet you 2 will be back together by tomorrow but hopefully sooner. It sounds like you are attached to one another.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24063348


I want this and don't all at the same time. Is this true? Should I just forgive what shes said to me? She's said these thigns before when shes been mad at me too... Should I just forgive her time and time again, each time she goes off the deep end?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844



Well, you expect her to forgive you when you are being mean and act like nothing happened.

You made a big point of saying you were not nice to her either but didn't think you were as bad as she was.

Chances are your words and actions hurt her just as much or more than hers hurt you. She wouldn't have lashed out if she wasn't hurting. She wouldn't be hurting if she didn't love you.

The choice is yours. You can refuse to forgive to feel superior and be alone and miserable or choose to reach out to her and see if you guys can work it out. Try apologizing first (even though you think you were not as bad) because that will let her guard down to be able to communicate. Explain the meds, not smoking, the business thing - and apologize for taking it out on her. Get some counseling if you decide to stick it out.

Honestly this may not be the best time to quit smoking. There's a thread somewhere on here about how smoking can help with respiratory/asthma stuff. Not saying it's a good thing to keep smoking but right now it might be a compromise worth making to keep your head on straight and get through a rough time.

What kinds of things do you say and do to her that you think are not so bad and she should tolerate?

What kinds of horrible things does she say to you that you are not sure you can forgive? Maybe it hurts so bad because there is truth in it.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4714791


Took your advice, lets see if I get hurt worse. Just texted it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4714791
United States
12/13/2012 06:02 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
...


OP it sounds like she loves you just as much. If she said those things to you she was feeling insecure, she wouldn't have said things like that if she has no feelings for you and wants to break up with you.

I bet you 2 will be back together by tomorrow but hopefully sooner. It sounds like you are attached to one another.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24063348


I want this and don't all at the same time. Is this true? Should I just forgive what shes said to me? She's said these thigns before when shes been mad at me too... Should I just forgive her time and time again, each time she goes off the deep end?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844



Well, you expect her to forgive you when you are being mean and act like nothing happened.

You made a big point of saying you were not nice to her either but didn't think you were as bad as she was.

Chances are your words and actions hurt her just as much or more than hers hurt you. She wouldn't have lashed out if she wasn't hurting. She wouldn't be hurting if she didn't love you.

The choice is yours. You can refuse to forgive to feel superior and be alone and miserable or choose to reach out to her and see if you guys can work it out. Try apologizing first (even though you think you were not as bad) because that will let her guard down to be able to communicate. Explain the meds, not smoking, the business thing - and apologize for taking it out on her. Get some counseling if you decide to stick it out.

Honestly this may not be the best time to quit smoking. There's a thread somewhere on here about how smoking can help with respiratory/asthma stuff. Not saying it's a good thing to keep smoking but right now it might be a compromise worth making to keep your head on straight and get through a rough time.

What kinds of things do you say and do to her that you think are not so bad and she should tolerate?

What kinds of horrible things does she say to you that you are not sure you can forgive? Maybe it hurts so bad because there is truth in it.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4714791


Took your advice, lets see if I get hurt worse. Just texted it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844


To be really honest, I had to read your original posts a few times to determine you were a man, she was a woman, and your partner was your business partner.

The way you blew up at the person who wasn't sure about what you were talking about might be part of the problem she is having with you.

Try not to be so defensive to people who care about you (her) and people trying to help. I know the thought of getting hurt or being misunderstood is painful and scary, but try to put yourself in other people's shoes and not take things so personally.

You may have no idea how you come across to others. You feel vulnerable and scared inside but others can't see that. All they know of you is what you show and tell them and chances are you have a bit of a tough guy act going on.

Your girlfriend might be having a rough time with something you know nothing about. It sounds like you have been all about yourself for a while now.

It might take more than a text to get your foot back in the door. Give it a few days if she doesn't respond and try sending some flowers or something.
hf
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 07:10 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
I know this isn't the best place to put this, but...

I got sick a little over a week ago with some upper resp infection. I couldn't breathe so I threw down my smokes and that was it, I was quitting smoking cigs... Then my Dr prescribed me prednisone cuz I was having a hard time breathing, and that along with nicotine withdrawls has turned me into a complete asshole...

Then my partner loses a really big account at work, so I decide to give my job up... I can't have him working against me all the time, losing accounts and money.... Then to top all this off, my fiance just BLOWS the fuck up on me saying some of the most hurtful and hateful things I've ever heard from anyone...

She says i've been an ass for two days, so its ok for her to blow up like this... So she then leaves me... I thought she was my soulmate, I really really love her and will miss her so much! I can't even type this without crying, life sucks so bad.

I really hope the world ends on December 21st so this pain will go away.

Not sure why I am posting this, I guess just to get it out. I just can't believe the hateful things she said, making me out to be the devil... I even treated her pretty good during this rage fit from the prednisone and nicotine withdrawls... I might have been a little btit of an ass here and there, but nothing how she just treated me.

She really stuck the knife in and turned it.

I'm sure the trolls will enter, guys if you like kicking someone when theyre down, go ahead i guess.
 Quoting: Why 29700844


there's a reason for it all that you can't see now but is part of the bigger picture of your life.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/13/2012 07:26 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
I want a smoke soooooooooooooo bad and i'm trying so hard not to... My heart is broken so bad...

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY​YYYYY
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844


Dude, have a smoke, really, why do you want to quit? No one like a quitter. Hell i stopped for 9 months and decided one day to smoke again. Been since. I got tired of every fucking second that voice of - "need a smoke, no, go away, need a smoke, no, go away"..., the dueling voices all day long repeating itself over and over. Said to hell with it...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1018748


This made me laugh... So true with the dueling voices. Its like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844



Seriously though, you will ALWAYS - as in for your entire life - be addicted to nicotine. Cigarettes are not so much an issue, it was the above ground nuke testing in the 50's that lead to lung cancer - cigs were blamed. If anything, how about reduce HOW MANY you smoke? I know people want to quit for perceived health problems, but you inhale more shit in a day than you would smoking. Smoking does have benefits. Anyways, how about cutting down? Then you please your conscience and your inner devil...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1018748


Don't be an asshole, just because you're too weak to quit cigarettes, don't try to drag this poor guy down with you when he's at a low point.

I agree with the others who said you're doing a type of life purge, OP, getting rid of a lot of negative, unecessary stuff in your life at this time. Your girlfriend may or may not be be part of this purge; time will tell.

Even if she is your soulmate that doesn't necessarily mean you'll always stay together. I was with mine for 14 years, best of times and worst of times. Soulmates bring out the very best in one another but also the very worst in one another.

Hang in there with the cigarettes and best of luck with the rest of it!
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 07:28 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
...


Dude, have a smoke, really, why do you want to quit? No one like a quitter. Hell i stopped for 9 months and decided one day to smoke again. Been since. I got tired of every fucking second that voice of - "need a smoke, no, go away, need a smoke, no, go away"..., the dueling voices all day long repeating itself over and over. Said to hell with it...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1018748


This made me laugh... So true with the dueling voices. Its like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29700844



Seriously though, you will ALWAYS - as in for your entire life - be addicted to nicotine. Cigarettes are not so much an issue, it was the above ground nuke testing in the 50's that lead to lung cancer - cigs were blamed. If anything, how about reduce HOW MANY you smoke? I know people want to quit for perceived health problems, but you inhale more shit in a day than you would smoking. Smoking does have benefits. Anyways, how about cutting down? Then you please your conscience and your inner devil...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1018748


Don't be an asshole, just because you're too weak to quit cigarettes, don't try to drag this poor guy down with you when he's at a low point.

I agree with the others who said you're doing a type of life purge, OP, getting rid of a lot of negative, unecessary stuff in your life at this time. Your girlfriend may or may not be be part of this purge; time will tell.

Even if she is your soulmate that doesn't necessarily mean you'll always stay together. I was with mine for 14 years, best of times and worst of times. Soulmates bring out the very best in one another but also the very worst in one another.

Hang in there with the cigarettes and best of luck with the rest of it!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5542489




Asshole? What the hell is wrong with smoking? Pretty much all the propaganda is bullshit... whats the big deal? Public guilt? Fuck that...
Dapurps

User ID: 26604792
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12/13/2012 07:34 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
I know this isn't the best place to put this, but...

I got sick a little over a week ago with some upper resp infection. I couldn't breathe so I threw down my smokes and that was it, I was quitting smoking cigs... Then my Dr prescribed me prednisone cuz I was having a hard time breathing, and that along with nicotine withdrawls has turned me into a complete asshole...

Then my partner loses a really big account at work, so I decide to give my job up... I can't have him working against me all the time, losing accounts and money.... Then to top all this off, my fiance just BLOWS the fuck up on me saying some of the most hurtful and hateful things I've ever heard from anyone...

She says i've been an ass for two days, so its ok for her to blow up like this... So she then leaves me... I thought she was my soulmate, I really really love her and will miss her so much! I can't even type this without crying, life sucks so bad.

I really hope the world ends on December 21st so this pain will go away.

Not sure why I am posting this, I guess just to get it out. I just can't believe the hateful things she said, makings me out to be the devil... I even treated her pretty good during this rage fit from the prednisone and nicotine withdrawls... I might have been a little btit of an ass here and there, but nothing how she just treated me.

She really stuck the knife in and turned it.

I'm sure the trolls will enter, guys if you like kicking someone when theyre down, go ahead i guess.
 Quoting: Why 29700844


Got sick- you'll be better soon
Quiting smoking- that's great bud. you'll save momey and feel great.
fiance: You'll find someone else. she just saved you from more hurt in the future and you didn't get married.
losing job: that's the only big thing that sucks and millions are going thru this.

don't give up, keep pushing.
"What you perceive to be becomes your reality."

:ftwpanda:

dapurps
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 07:52 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
The prednisone can have some nasty side effects.....including on your emotions.


The cough was probably from breathing in some aluminum dust (chemtrails). There is a lot of it going around......chronic, dry cough......but no fever.


Try some Chlorella and Spirulina from the health food store. It will bind to the particulates.....and help your body get rid of them.


Let the girl go......she has shown her true colors.
Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 08:02 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
OP, you should write a country song...you're just about there already!
 Quoting: BRIEF


Damn, you beat me to it.
Light to Go

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12/13/2012 08:13 PM

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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Walk through your pain and fear, it is the only way. Two thoughts to a successful e. existance 1) Everything happens for a reason. 2) Everything that happens leads to something better. Just train your mind to think and imagine this, then your world will open up to all possiblities. Peace.
Truth Seeker
A Predatory Species of Human Animals Have Created A System That Gives Them Power & Control Over All Others.
"Eugenics is their signature, bureaucracy their cover" - John Lash
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What is your agenda? Here's mine...
END DUPLICITY-Explore the Narrative

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Anonymous Coward
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12/13/2012 08:17 PM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
I know this isn't the best place to put this, but...

I got sick a little over a week ago with some upper resp infection. I couldn't breathe so I threw down my smokes and that was it, I was quitting smoking cigs... Then my Dr prescribed me prednisone cuz I was having a hard time breathing, and that along with nicotine withdrawls has turned me into a complete asshole...

Then my partner loses a really big account at work, so I decide to give my job up... I can't have him working against me all the time, losing accounts and money.... Then to top all this off, my fiance just BLOWS the fuck up on me saying some of the most hurtful and hateful things I've ever heard from anyone...

She says i've been an ass for two days, so its ok for her to blow up like this... So she then leaves me... I thought she was my soulmate, I really really love her and will miss her so much! I can't even type this without crying, life sucks so bad.

I really hope the world ends on December 21st so this pain will go away.

Not sure why I am posting this, I guess just to get it out. I just can't believe the hateful things she said, making me out to be the devil... I even treated her pretty good during this rage fit from the prednisone and nicotine withdrawls... I might have been a little btit of an ass here and there, but nothing how she just treated me.

She really stuck the knife in and turned it.

I'm sure the trolls will enter, guys if you like kicking someone when theyre down, go ahead i guess.
 Quoting: Why 29700844


Lovedoom is the worse.

Hang in there!
Earth Daughter

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12/13/2012 08:25 PM

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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Ah, OP, it could be just a bad fight. She might not be gone for good.

Even newly married couples pull all nighters of dramatic arguments. Emotions and expectations run high.

After you're together for a long time, you'll just snap at each other and then decide that getting a good night's sleep is more important than staying up fighting.

Just, hang in there. She might take time to think about the horrible things she said and then come back to apologize. Everyone blows it once in awhile.

Forgiveness is golden.
"Arrows of hate have been shot at me too, but they never hit me, because somehow they belonged to another world, with which I have no connection whatsoever." - Albert Einstein
Anonymous Coward
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12/14/2012 07:28 AM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Well it was a hard night, I woke up several times crying and in a daze... Can't remember what I was dreaming about or having a nightmare probably. I'm sure it can't be worse than the one i'm living though. Still no contact and still no easier to deal with.

Now I have to get up and go to work, something else that is a sore spot in my life right now. Still haven't lit up either though, so I guess that's a plus. I remember after I left my ex wife it was pretty hard for a few days or a week then it started to get better. Actually what made it better was meeting my ex fiance! lol omg, can't make this shit up!

I will miss her.
GooliaJulia

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12/14/2012 09:07 AM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Well it was a hard night, I woke up several times crying and in a daze... Can't remember what I was dreaming about or having a nightmare probably. I'm sure it can't be worse than the one i'm living though. Still no contact and still no easier to deal with.

Now I have to get up and go to work, something else that is a sore spot in my life right now. Still haven't lit up either though, so I guess that's a plus. I remember after I left my ex wife it was pretty hard for a few days or a week then it started to get better. Actually what made it better was meeting my ex fiance! lol omg, can't make this shit up!

I will miss her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8222964


It's only been a day, give it a little more time, sometimes we can go for days giving the cold shoulder, even though you said you reached out to her in a text?, i wouldn't doubt she wants you to chase her more..if so that's a little petty of her but give her some time.

P.S. If you did reach out and say sorry to her then that girls an ass, I know some stubborn pricks who would never apologized even if they had proof in their face it was their fault.

Kudos to youhf
Sheep the moon
Gunnz, lots of Gunnz

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12/14/2012 09:11 AM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
It's called Paradigm Shift.
Corp/o/Ration
A Single Entity (group with the same paragon) Restricting consumption of scarce commodities.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/14/2012 09:56 AM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Its times like these that I feel better about being an Aspie.
I never feel all that drama.When its over I could care less.I just continue on with my average routine.I find that pisses people off too if you dont grieve and whin
Thats the trick to it all really.If a person can just act like they dont give a crap that the person left its so confusing to them they beg you back if you arent interested in getting them back.People cant stand that you dont miss them and hurt if they leave.
MultiStrada

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12/14/2012 10:10 AM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
Hang in there OP and remember the truly great things in life are simple.

You're going to make it back to higher ground if you want to.

peacehf
Anonymous Coward
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12/14/2012 10:26 AM
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Re: Got sick, quitting smoking, losing job and my fiance just broke up with me
its called life

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