Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 1,754 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 593,821
Pageviews Today: 767,994Threads Today: 172Posts Today: 3,355
06:50 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

Christmas Party

 
Sleeping Giant
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:13 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: Dec. 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty

Last Edited by Sleeping Giant on 12/14/2012 01:48 PM
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:13 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: Dec. 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty

Last Edited by Sleeping Giant on 12/14/2012 08:15 AM
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:14 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: Dec. 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Last Edited by Sleeping Giant on 12/14/2012 08:15 AM
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:14 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: Dec. 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

Last Edited by Sleeping Giant on 12/14/2012 08:18 AM
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:14 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: Dec. 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian dolts!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing weirdoes can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!

Last Edited by Sleeping Giant on 12/14/2012 08:16 AM
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:15 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: Dec. 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery at Alberta Hospital and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:17 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
chuckle
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
davvi

User ID: 3677166
United States
12/14/2012 08:28 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
lol, unfortunately this could be a very real memo... this is what happens when you try to mix tribes and force diversity and multi-culti. you please no one, but you do build a great deal of resentment.


:nav1:
A Jewish mother dreams that her son will grow up to be a doctor or, if retarded, a lawyer." --Jackie Mason

I never give RED karma, only GREEN for great posters. If you give me red or green please leave your name, I like to say thank you...

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." --Joan Rivers

"When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you - you know your nation is doomed." --Ayn Rand

Goodbye sweet friend, we miss you.

"White Democrats sold away tomorrow for their own power today."
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 08:31 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
lol, unfortunately this could be a very real memo... this is what happens when you try to mix tribes and force diversity and multi-culti. you please no one, but you do build a great deal of resentment.


:nav1:
 Quoting: davvi


Yep, you can't please everyone, the world is too diverse....

But, by trying to not offend certain groups, you offend other groups.
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 09:39 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
bump
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Resister

User ID: 669410
United States
12/14/2012 09:54 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Merry Christmas!
"God forbid we should ever be 20 years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, & always, well informed... If they remain quiet under such misconceptions it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty... Let them take arms... What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. " - Thomas Jefferson in 1787
Sloane

User ID: 27108958
United States
12/14/2012 10:03 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
:happychristmas:
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 23781418
United States
12/14/2012 10:09 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Merry Christmas!
 Quoting: Resister


:happychristmas:
 Quoting: Sloane




Merry CHRISTmas!!!
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
*HEISENBERG*

User ID: 28152425
United States
12/14/2012 11:44 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
A perfect example of the type of mentality that drives me INSANE!!


Merry CHRISTmas everyone!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5490382
United States
12/14/2012 11:49 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Priceless!!

and BTW- Merry Christmas! lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4759598
United States
12/14/2012 11:55 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
One reason I hate the "Holidays". Bah fuckin humbug. I wish i could just climb in bed to cry and sleep until it is all over with. I have no idea why i get so depressed this time year; it really sucks.

TU for the brief comic relief op! Now back to my black depression
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 543618
United States
12/14/2012 12:22 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Priceless!!

and BTW- Merry Christmas! lmao
 Quoting: Begin Again 12-12-12


Merry CHRISTmas to you!
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 543618
United States
12/14/2012 12:23 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
One reason I hate the "Holidays". Bah fuckin humbug. I wish i could just climb in bed to cry and sleep until it is all over with. I have no idea why i get so depressed this time year; it really sucks.

TU for the brief comic relief op! Now back to my black depression
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4759598


Snap outta that depression!

slaphim
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10044600
United States
12/14/2012 12:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
:xmaswish:

The rest of you f*%^ing weirdoes can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die


chuckle Best part...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29863035
United States
12/14/2012 12:26 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
A perfect example of the type of mentality that drives me INSANE!!


Merry CHRISTmas everyone!
 Quoting: *HEISENBERG*


And many Happy Generic Seasonal Greetings to you as well!
*HEISENBERG*

User ID: 28152425
United States
12/14/2012 12:29 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
A perfect example of the type of mentality that drives me INSANE!!


Merry CHRISTmas everyone!
 Quoting: *HEISENBERG*


And many Happy Generic Seasonal Greetings to you as well!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29863035


No that's fine, people can call it what they want. I'm talking about going overboard trying not to offend anyone. It ends up ruining everything. People like to whine and complain no matter how you try and accommodate them.

Never will everyone be happy. So if you want a CHRISTmas party, then have a CHRISTmas party and not worry about whiny people. If you want to have a generic seasonal holiday party, then have at.
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 543618
United States
12/14/2012 12:34 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
A perfect example of the type of mentality that drives me INSANE!!


Merry CHRISTmas everyone!
 Quoting: *HEISENBERG*


And many Happy Generic Seasonal Greetings to you as well!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29863035


No that's fine, people can call it what they want. I'm talking about going overboard trying not to offend anyone. It ends up ruining everything. People like to whine and complain no matter how you try and accommodate them.

Never will everyone be happy. So if you want a CHRISTmas party, then have a CHRISTmas party and not worry about whiny people. If you want to have a generic seasonal holiday party, then have at.
 Quoting: *HEISENBERG*


Well said, my friend!

cheers
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Madame X

User ID: 628775
Canada
12/14/2012 12:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Thanks for the chuckle.

Reminded me of this...


[link to www.youtube.com]

Merry Christmas!!
"The wise man's home is the universe." ~ Democrites

Catch the blue train...somewhere down that crazy river.
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 543618
United States
12/14/2012 12:48 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Thanks for the chuckle.

Reminded me of this...


[link to www.youtube.com]

Merry Christmas!!
 Quoting: Madame X


Merry Christmas to you!

hf
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
Thor's Hamster

User ID: 27916393
United States
12/14/2012 01:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
chuckle

Great demonstration of p.c. absurdity.

Merry Christmas!
Apollo astronauts couldn't have passed through Van Allen's Belt. Van Allen wore suspenders.
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 543618
United States
12/14/2012 01:53 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
chuckle

Great demonstration of p.c. absurdity.

Merry Christmas!
 Quoting: Thor's Hamster


Merry Christmas to you!
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you
ParallaxPam

User ID: 15366249
United States
12/14/2012 02:03 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Oh My God..(oh sorry, I meant Oh My God or Allah, Buddha, HaShem, Et Al).

This is so true though. Too funny. Thanks for giving us a "HOLIDAY" laugh.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29561430
United States
12/14/2012 02:05 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
:fdhfhsfrthrtrt:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 844742
United States
12/14/2012 02:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: Dec. 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty
 Quoting: Sleeping Giant


OP, I've seen this before, funny stuff! Thanks for posting.

Big 5hf
Ms.Magoo

User ID: 1578009
United States
12/14/2012 02:11 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
rofl
Sleeping Giant (OP)
Army of the Chosen One

User ID: 543618
United States
12/14/2012 02:14 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Christmas Party
Oh My God..(oh sorry, I meant Oh My God or Allah, Buddha, HaShem, Et Al).

This is so true though. Too funny. Thanks for giving us a "HOLIDAY" laugh.
 Quoting: ParallaxPam


:fdhfhsfrthrtrt:
 Quoting: SeaPunk


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: Dec. 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty
 Quoting: Sleeping Giant


OP, I've seen this before, funny stuff! Thanks for posting.

Big 5hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844742


rofl
 Quoting: Ms.Magoo


Merry Christmas to all!
"And I know that when I leave savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard. We are not the wolves at the gate, we are the ones who face them."

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. Matthew 10:22

Wake up, oh sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you

News








We're dropping truth bombs like it's the end of days!