Don't be so hard on yourself for wanting to go out and enjoy a bit of holiday cheer. And as for the person who ranted about you wanting to do this after what happened at that school... it would be one thing if you lived in that town or near it. You don't, and you can't live life feeling desperately sorry about every tragedy in the world.
Have two friends at work who have been without partners for years. One is late 40s and divorced many years ago. The other is early 60s and widowed a number of years ago. Neither one was openly looking for someone. The younger gal even has her elderly mother living with her, and the older one lives with her divorced daughter and grandchildren.
But recently one got married to a really nice, intelligent, sweet guy, and the other one just got invited out on a date by a retired teacher who has known her (from church) for a couple of years. She said when he asked her out he stammered a good bit, and then blushed. She'd actually prefer it to be just a good friendship, not a marriage offer.
But if it can happen to those two ladies, I'm betting that there's a guy out there who'd love to be near to you. Just be open to what God is doing in your life.
On a side note... dispense with the perfume... it may may you look like you're looking. Be yourself, clean, neatly dressed for the holidays, and open. I'll say some prayers that things work out well for you.