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Toilet paper how much do you use

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20675367
United States
12/17/2012 07:58 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Toilet paper? Don't believe in it

The best thing is used corn cobs


fightshitstream
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19490298
United States
12/17/2012 08:01 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
A shower is much cheaper than using T.P. Nothing like that fresh feeling. I learned that walking on the beach with my mother. ;-)
Gitchie
User ID: 24241423
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12/17/2012 08:04 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
One square.

I rip one square off the toilet paper roll then punch a single hole in the middle of the square with my finger. I let the square drape down onto my hand as my finger is still through the center of the square. I then stick my finger up into my anus and wipe with the square. When I am done wiping, I bring my hand back up and wipe the poo-poo flu off of my entire finger. I then use the small circle of toilet paper (which was left over after punching my finger through the square) to clean under my fingernail.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29293415
Canada
12/17/2012 08:04 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
I use about 6-7 shit tickets per wipe, and wipe about 3-5 times depending on how runny it was...lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19490298
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12/17/2012 08:05 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
One square.

I rip one square off the toilet paper roll then punch a single hole in the middle of the square with my finger. I let the square drape down onto my hand as my finger is still through the center of the square. I then stick my finger up into my anus and wipe with the square. When I am done wiping, I bring my hand back up and wipe the poo-poo flu off of my entire finger. I then use the small circle of toilet paper (which was left over after punching my finger through the square) to clean under my fingernail.
 Quoting: Gitchie 24241423


Sounds like a sterile procedure to me. s226
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20675367
United States
12/17/2012 08:11 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30156319
United Kingdom
12/18/2012 02:19 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
never wipe my arse, just let the mush dry out and have a good scratch after and sniff my hands226
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29947658

Please may i never follow you in the veg and salad section of tescos
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30172219


oh, come on dude you'd love the new freshness it would bring to the fruit n' veg counter.s226s226
ººEATºº

User ID: 22705817
Canada
12/18/2012 02:20 PM

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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
I use alot. No sense getting crap on the fingers.
My daughter even says I use too much. ha ha ha
In the end it doesn't even matter...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30156319
United Kingdom
12/18/2012 07:08 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
i can't understand why poop roll is so fucking expensive?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29947658
cause they know you have to have it. i'd pay whatever they asked. i feel relieved it is as cheep as it is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30177801


yep, cheap as shit.s226s226
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29783802
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12/18/2012 07:21 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Toilet Paper?
Lotus Flower

User ID: 16091860
United Kingdom
12/18/2012 07:22 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Toilet Paper?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29783802


What exactly are you asking here AC lmao
Lotus

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares - Hebrews 13:2

One Crowded hour of glorious life, is worth an age without a name - Thomas Osbert Mordaunt
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9520353
United States
12/18/2012 07:27 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Consumer Report says the average is 7 squares
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17492600
United States
12/18/2012 07:37 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
I bend over and let my dogs lick it off.
EJ25LVR

User ID: 514219
United States
12/18/2012 07:42 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
well it depends if i drop a slider (a turd that just slides right out with ease and when you wipe there's hardly anything on the shit paper) or one of those fudgey shits that tend to want to adhere to your ass crack no matter how much you wipe.

thankfully i have more sliders than fudge shits.

when its the hershey squirts all bets are off on how much will be needed since you need a helluva lot to ensure it doesn't soak through the shit paper and get all over your hands.shitstreamtp
Wherever you go,there you are.

John Doe: Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.

I have half a mind to head down to Washington and shit on the White House lawn.

Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.
EJ25LVR

User ID: 514219
United States
12/18/2012 07:44 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
I bend over and let my dogs lick it off.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17492600


rofl thats some sick shit, a mental image tried to creep in my head but i had to force it away. lol
Wherever you go,there you are.

John Doe: Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.

I have half a mind to head down to Washington and shit on the White House lawn.

Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30156319
United Kingdom
12/18/2012 07:49 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
this thread has brought tears of laughter to my eyes. we need humour in this world of doom and gloom. toilet humour is the best. keep wiping that excrement from ya butt.s226s226s226whateverwhatever
Lotus Flower

User ID: 16091860
United Kingdom
12/18/2012 07:50 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
well it depends if i drop a slider (a turd that just slides right out with ease and when you wipe there's hardly anything on the shit paper) or one of those fudgey shits that tend to want to adhere to your ass crack no matter how much you wipe.

thankfully i have more sliders than fudge shits.

when its the hershey squirts all bets are off on how much will be needed since you need a helluva lot to ensure it doesn't soak through the shit paper and get all over your hands.shitstreamtp
 Quoting: EJ25LVR

f-f-f-f-f-fudge shits noway
Lotus

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares - Hebrews 13:2

One Crowded hour of glorious life, is worth an age without a name - Thomas Osbert Mordaunt
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17492600
United States
12/18/2012 07:57 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
I always wet dampen the TP on my last wipe. I think you have to use water for a good clean.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30229200
United States
12/18/2012 07:59 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Ass much ass it takes.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17492600
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12/18/2012 08:01 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
I always wet dampen the TP on my last wipe. I think you have to use water for a good clean.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17492600




LOL @ me. Wet dampen? Is that the opposite of dry dampen?

I meant to say wet down the TP
EJ25LVR

User ID: 514219
United States
12/18/2012 08:04 PM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
well it depends if i drop a slider (a turd that just slides right out with ease and when you wipe there's hardly anything on the shit paper) or one of those fudgey shits that tend to want to adhere to your ass crack no matter how much you wipe.

thankfully i have more sliders than fudge shits.

when its the hershey squirts all bets are off on how much will be needed since you need a helluva lot to ensure it doesn't soak through the shit paper and get all over your hands.shitstreamtp
 Quoting: EJ25LVR

f-f-f-f-f-fudge shits noway
 Quoting: Lotus Flower


LOL
Wherever you go,there you are.

John Doe: Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.

I have half a mind to head down to Washington and shit on the White House lawn.

Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.
JeffSam9
User ID: 30753680
Thailand
12/24/2012 12:15 AM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Everyone needs to get a hand held bidet sprayer and then you won't need nearly as much toilet paper. With these you can use a towel to just dry off (yes your own personal towel for those with no imagination) or a much smaller amount of toilet paper. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off" It makes cleaning the toilet itself a breeze also. For those of us who really like to be clean it is the best invention since the toilet. Available at [link to www.bathroomsprayers.com.]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14105059
United States
12/24/2012 12:40 AM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Really all depends on how pasty my shit is, OP.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29791397
United States
12/24/2012 12:57 AM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
I've learned to be thrifty when it comes to my toilet paper.

I take one square, fold it in half and then fold it in half again making it a quarter the original size. I tear a tiny little piece from the corner that actually is the center of the square.

I unfold it, and I have a perfect little hole in the middle of the square just big enough for my finger.

I stick my finger thru the hole and wipe my ass as good as I can. Then I pull the toilet paper up my finger cleaning off most all the shit off my finger.

I don't waste a bit, I then take that little piece I tore out of the center and I use it to clean under my finger nail.

No way am I going to go without my toilet paper in the coming disaster.

I save on food by eating boogers but I have to make sure I eat before I shit because it just ruins them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29791397
United States
12/24/2012 01:07 AM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Everyone needs to get a hand held bidet sprayer and then you won't need nearly as much toilet paper. With these you can use a towel to just dry off (yes your own personal towel for those with no imagination) or a much smaller amount of toilet paper. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off" It makes cleaning the toilet itself a breeze also. For those of us who really like to be clean it is the best invention since the toilet. Available at [link to www.bathroomsprayers.com.]
 Quoting: JeffSam9 30753680


That makes a lot of sense. I got one of those in the kitchen. I think Ill start trying the bidet sprayer method..

Just don't tell the wife...
mattstyle

User ID: 25733244
United States
12/24/2012 01:14 AM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Get a bidet.. toilet seat attachment for $30 on amazon.. brand is astor.. simple hookup and well worth it. Put an icemaker filter on it to filter chlorine if you dont have a whole house filter

Theres a toilet paper conspiracy. Chlorine used to bleach the paper may increase chances of prostate cancer
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25992474
United States
12/24/2012 01:16 AM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
When doom really does hit, good TP is going to be the one thing I miss the most. Of all the luxuries I have in these troubled times, I have to say I'm happy to sell my soul for good, quality TP. A girl's gotta stay clean, ya know.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24931009
United States
12/24/2012 01:30 AM
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Re: Toilet paper how much do you use
Bidet? I thought that was an eye wash station?

As for TP I usually leave the roll off the roller and cup the roll in my left hand then pull about an arms length like I was stripping off fishing line then double over a few times until I have a nice pad covering my palm and then go to work. Sometimes I'll fold that over if it feels like it came off pretty clean but otherwise repeat. Definitely keep the quality of plumbing in mind when trying this method as it can require a courtesy flush or two if the suction is substandard.

And some of you must have very small hands or lots of those sliders...seriously 7 sheets average?

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