Toilet paper how much do you use

Toilet paper? Don't believe in it

The best thing is used corn cobs

A shower is much cheaper than using T.P. Nothing like that fresh feeling. I learned that walking on the beach with my mother. ;-)

One square.

I rip one square off the toilet paper roll then punch a single hole in the middle of the square with my finger. I let the square drape down onto my hand as my finger is still through the center of the square. I then stick my finger up into my anus and wipe with the square. When I am done wiping, I bring my hand back up and wipe the poo-poo flu off of my entire finger. I then use the small circle of toilet paper (which was left over after punching my finger through the square) to clean under my fingernail.

I use about 6-7 shit tickets per wipe, and wipe about 3-5 times depending on how runny it was...lol

Sounds like a sterile procedure to me.

oh, come on dude you'd love the new freshness it would bring to the fruit n' veg counter.

I use alot. No sense getting crap on the fingers.
My daughter even says I use too much. ha ha ha

yep, cheap as shit.

Toilet Paper?

What exactly are you asking here AC

Consumer Report says the average is 7 squares

I bend over and let my dogs lick it off.

well it depends if i drop a slider (a turd that just slides right out with ease and when you wipe there's hardly anything on the shit paper) or one of those fudgey shits that tend to want to adhere to your ass crack no matter how much you wipe.

thankfully i have more sliders than fudge shits.

when its the hershey squirts all bets are off on how much will be needed since you need a helluva lot to ensure it doesn't soak through the shit paper and get all over your hands.

thats some sick shit, a mental image tried to creep in my head but i had to force it away. lol

this thread has brought tears of laughter to my eyes. we need humour in this world of doom and gloom. toilet humour is the best. keep wiping that excrement from ya butt.

f-f-f-f-f-fudge shits

I always wet dampen the TP on my last wipe. I think you have to use water for a good clean.

Ass much ass it takes.

LOL @ me. Wet dampen? Is that the opposite of dry dampen?

I meant to say wet down the TP

LOL

Everyone needs to get a hand held bidet sprayer and then you won't need nearly as much toilet paper. With these you can use a towel to just dry off (yes your own personal towel for those with no imagination) or a much smaller amount of toilet paper. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off" It makes cleaning the toilet itself a breeze also. For those of us who really like to be clean it is the best invention since the toilet. Available at [link to www.bathroomsprayers.com.]

Really all depends on how pasty my shit is, OP.

I've learned to be thrifty when it comes to my toilet paper.

I take one square, fold it in half and then fold it in half again making it a quarter the original size. I tear a tiny little piece from the corner that actually is the center of the square.

I unfold it, and I have a perfect little hole in the middle of the square just big enough for my finger.

I stick my finger thru the hole and wipe my ass as good as I can. Then I pull the toilet paper up my finger cleaning off most all the shit off my finger.

I don't waste a bit, I then take that little piece I tore out of the center and I use it to clean under my finger nail.

No way am I going to go without my toilet paper in the coming disaster.

I save on food by eating boogers but I have to make sure I eat before I shit because it just ruins them.

That makes a lot of sense. I got one of those in the kitchen. I think Ill start trying the bidet sprayer method..

Just don't tell the wife...

Get a bidet.. toilet seat attachment for $30 on amazon.. brand is astor.. simple hookup and well worth it. Put an icemaker filter on it to filter chlorine if you dont have a whole house filter

Theres a toilet paper conspiracy. Chlorine used to bleach the paper may increase chances of prostate cancer

When doom really does hit, good TP is going to be the one thing I miss the most. Of all the luxuries I have in these troubled times, I have to say I'm happy to sell my soul for good, quality TP. A girl's gotta stay clean, ya know.

Bidet? I thought that was an eye wash station?

As for TP I usually leave the roll off the roller and cup the roll in my left hand then pull about an arms length like I was stripping off fishing line then double over a few times until I have a nice pad covering my palm and then go to work. Sometimes I'll fold that over if it feels like it came off pretty clean but otherwise repeat. Definitely keep the quality of plumbing in mind when trying this method as it can require a courtesy flush or two if the suction is substandard.

And some of you must have very small hands or lots of those sliders...seriously 7 sheets average?