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Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29405888
United States
12/16/2012 08:31 AM
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Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
[link to articles.latimes.com]

Los Angeles, CA (Associated Press)- Authorities are drawing a big blank after it was reported that a sperm bank was robbed early Friday morning. A middle-aged man entered shouting with what appeared to be a revolver with a pink handle, threatening the clerk and demanding access to the storage area.

Witnesses described the man as having an abnormally large forehead, a golden blond lion's mane haircut and a thin build. Surveillance footage shows the man tiptoeing lightly wearing loafers, khaki pants and a light blue button-up shirt. Witness also described the man's voice as being very soft, almost feminine.

No injuries were sustained during the ordeal, but one man reported being threatened by the assailant. "He looked at me and said, 'you wanna get 'cocked in the face?' and then I just backed away slowly fearing for my life". The bank clerk noted that the robber seemed zealous, almost fanatical in his pursuit of the sperm samples. The clerk observed the robber at one point opening a sperm jar and tasting it with his finger, apparently to verify the contents.

A getaway car was spotted by a street vendor who described the vehicle as a mid-90's Subaru station wagon with a San Francisco Gay Pride bumper sticker. Authorities are asking that anyone with additional information come forward to assist the ongoing investigation.

Consumer Alerts

In other news, motivational speaker and author David Wilcock has been accused of fraud and is under investigation by the FDA after marketing a new "Ascended Healing Facial Ointment" on his website, Divinecosmos.com and by mail order. The FDA alleges that David Wilcock has repeatedly refused to disclose the ingredients in his new product line. Consumer watch dog representatives have called Mr. Wilcock a "complete fraud and charlatan" as well as a "snake oil salesman". Surprisingly, the gay community has "come out" vociferously in support of David Wilcok, vehemently defending him as "one of their own"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24179936
Netherlands
12/16/2012 08:41 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Either you made this up, or the article disappeard.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29330538
United States
12/16/2012 08:44 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Sounds like a sticky situation.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29017763
United States
12/16/2012 09:26 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
that's fucked up man
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24805909
United States
12/16/2012 09:30 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Thirsty girl?
Mister_Worlwide

User ID: 26282771
United States
12/19/2012 05:48 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
[link to articles.latimes.com]

Los Angeles, CA (Associated Press)- Authorities are drawing a big blank after it was reported that a sperm bank was robbed early Friday morning. A middle-aged man entered shouting with what appeared to be a revolver with a pink handle, threatening the clerk and demanding access to the storage area.

Witnesses described the man as having an abnormally large forehead, a golden blond lion's mane haircut and a thin build. Surveillance footage shows the man tiptoeing lightly wearing loafers, khaki pants and a light blue button-up shirt. Witness also described the man's voice as being very soft, almost feminine.

No injuries were sustained during the ordeal, but one man reported being threatened by the assailant. "He looked at me and said, 'you wanna get 'cocked in the face?' and then I just backed away slowly fearing for my life". The bank clerk noted that the robber seemed zealous, almost fanatical in his pursuit of the sperm samples. The clerk observed the robber at one point opening a sperm jar and tasting it with his finger, apparently to verify the contents.

A getaway car was spotted by a street vendor who described the vehicle as a mid-90's Subaru station wagon with a San Francisco Gay Pride bumper sticker. Authorities are asking that anyone with additional information come forward to assist the ongoing investigation.

Consumer Alerts

In other news, motivational speaker and author David Wilcock has been accused of fraud and is under investigation by the FDA after marketing a new "Ascended Healing Facial Ointment" on his website, Divinecosmos.com and by mail order. The FDA alleges that David Wilcock has repeatedly refused to disclose the ingredients in his new product line. Consumer watch dog representatives have called Mr. Wilcock a "complete fraud and charlatan" as well as a "snake oil salesman". Surprisingly, the gay community has "come out" vociferously in support of David Wilcok, vehemently defending him as "one of their own"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29405888
That sounds like David Wilcocks*cker all right!!!
There's nothing like Miami's heat....
...Padre Island, TX does beat it!
Waterbug

User ID: 1295673
United States
12/19/2012 05:50 PM

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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
They should have seen it coming.....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16267885
United Kingdom
12/19/2012 05:51 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Sounds like a sticky situation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29330538


The rare Cruise 3x3 for you matey!

cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16267885
United Kingdom
12/19/2012 05:51 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
They should have seen it coming.....
 Quoting: Waterbug


and another!

cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16267885
United Kingdom
12/19/2012 05:52 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
They must have had a lot of spunk to do such a thing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1151390
New Zealand
12/19/2012 05:54 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29405888




abnormally large forehead, a golden blond lion's mane haircut and a thin build.


They have arrived. It looks like it.
Waterbug

User ID: 1295673
United States
12/19/2012 05:55 PM

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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
They must have had a lot of spunk to do such a thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16267885


Very hard....
Waterbug

User ID: 1295673
United States
12/19/2012 05:56 PM

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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
They should have seen it coming.....
 Quoting: Waterbug


and another!

cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16267885


Dang... the cruise 3x3..

That is as rare as a scientology refund..

I'm honored.
Mister_Worlwide

User ID: 26282771
United States
12/19/2012 06:24 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
They should have seen it coming.....
 Quoting: Waterbug


and another!

cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16267885


Dang... the cruise 3x3..

That is as rare as a scientology refund..

I'm honored.
 Quoting: Waterbug
RaCocked!
There's nothing like Miami's heat....
...Padre Island, TX does beat it!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17209994
Australia
12/19/2012 06:25 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
I KNEW some cunt out there would rob it sooner or later.

5a
Waterbug

User ID: 1295673
United States
12/19/2012 06:31 PM

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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
I KNEW some cunt out there would rob it sooner or later.

5a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17209994


Rosie..? or maybe it was some other man-hating hollyweird butch..
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29405888
United States
12/19/2012 10:37 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
They should have seen it coming.....
 Quoting: Waterbug


and another!

cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16267885


Dang... the cruise 3x3..

That is as rare as a scientology refund..

I'm honored.
 Quoting: Waterbug
RaCocked!
 Quoting: Mister_Worlwide


cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
cruise cruise cruise
JUST HERE

User ID: 25610447
United States
12/19/2012 10:39 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
chuckle
:glp sign:
INSIDERS VIEW

User ID: 30378941
Australia
12/19/2012 10:48 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
lol

Last Edited by INSIDERS VIEW on 12/19/2012 10:50 PM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29405888
United States
12/19/2012 10:52 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
[link to articles.latimes.com]

Los Angeles, CA (Associated Press)- Authorities are drawing a big blank after it was reported that a sperm bank was robbed early Friday morning. A middle-aged man entered shouting with what appeared to be a revolver with a pink handle, threatening the clerk and demanding access to the storage area.

Witnesses described the man as having an abnormally large forehead, a golden blond lion's mane haircut and a thin build. Surveillance footage shows the man tiptoeing lightly wearing loafers, khaki pants and a light blue button-up shirt. Witness also described the man's voice as being very soft, almost feminine.

No injuries were sustained during the ordeal, but one man reported being threatened by the assailant. "He looked at me and said, 'you wanna get 'cocked in the face?' and then I just backed away slowly fearing for my life". The bank clerk noted that the robber seemed zealous, almost fanatical in his pursuit of the sperm samples. The clerk observed the robber at one point opening a sperm jar and tasting it with his finger, apparently to verify the contents.

A getaway car was spotted by a street vendor who described the vehicle as a mid-90's Subaru station wagon with a San Francisco Gay Pride bumper sticker. Authorities are asking that anyone with additional information come forward to assist the ongoing investigation.

Consumer Alerts

In other news, motivational speaker and author David Wilcock has been accused of fraud and is under investigation by the FDA after marketing a new "Ascended Healing Facial Ointment" on his website, Divinecosmos.com and by mail order. The FDA alleges that David Wilcock has repeatedly refused to disclose the ingredients in his new product line. Consumer watch dog representatives have called Mr. Wilcock a "complete fraud and charlatan" as well as a "snake oil salesman". Surprisingly, the gay community has "come out" vociferously in support of David Wilcok, vehemently defending him as "one of their own"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29405888


Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30357815
United States
12/19/2012 11:12 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22018224
United States
12/20/2012 12:04 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Very lucky, someone could have got shot in the face.






























And oh btw the guy was an alien.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30381288
Canada
12/20/2012 12:09 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
couldnt they be charged with kidnapping millions and millions of people?
Resonant Citizen
User ID: 913721
Netherlands
12/20/2012 12:11 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
You can all say LOL this LOL that... I'm in debt with my sperm bank
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1082682
United States
12/20/2012 12:15 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Okay, so you hate David Wilcock and so you decided to libel and slander him on GLP. Fine.

Why?
MONSTER
User ID: 2122560
United States
12/20/2012 12:15 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
someone gave sperm then had second thoughts later
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30208224
Australia
12/20/2012 09:06 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29856998
United States
12/20/2012 09:17 PM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
The illuminati did it. They're saving it to repopulate the Earth with a slave society to serve them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25722285
United States
12/28/2012 07:43 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Okay, so you hate David Wilcock and so you decided to libel and slander him on GLP. Fine.

Why?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1082682


David?
dan
User ID: 31009692
United States
12/28/2012 08:14 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
so nobody got this yet?

A sperm bank was robbed and....

"Ascended Healing Facial Ointment....David Wilcock has repeatedly refused to disclose the ingredients in his new product line."

hmmm
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22022484
United States
12/28/2012 08:27 AM
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Re: Sperm bank robbed, authorities baffled
Sounds like a sticky situation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29330538


:cruiselarge:

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