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'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America

 
smilesun (OP)

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12/17/2012 04:09 PM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
 Quoting: smilesun

Yes. But one thing you can't deny is that almost all of these school shooters are on some sort of SSRI. As far as statistics go. That seems pretty concrete to me.
 Quoting: Salt


the one thing in common is all of the school shooters had a mental illness.



You have a solution to stop these massacres weapons?
Anonymous Coward
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12/17/2012 04:18 PM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Honestly it sounds like the kid feels powerless, but isn't dangerous.

Notice, there was no talk about how he stabbed anyone and the woman was able to take a knife away from him. She doesn't sound like a ninja, so I'm thinking the kid gave it to her. (Try to take a knife from me. I promise I won't use any skill, I'll just swing it around like a madman. Yeah, it's possible, and yes, you just got cut 90% of the time...)

The problem, if that's the cause, is that the woman keeps taking power from the boy in ways that he feels damages him, so he tried to take it back, desperately snatching at more and more extreme things to prevent himself from being emasculated. When he starts to feel successful, doing anything that seems to be taking a small bit of power back from her, she calls in armed thugs (police) to do the work for her, further stripping his sense of sovereignty away.

The more they attack that, the harder he'll be forced to fight.

He might have a mental disorder (notice how no one can find one?), but, honestly, it sounds a bit like it's the mother that has the real problem and it isn't her child.

After all, she started an argument over pants. Pants. And turned it into an excuse to have the kid committed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 536850


yeah, overcontrolling bitch manipulated him into making threats and that scene where she changes course and takes him to the mental hospital, what a psycho. She's the one with the mental illness.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30144543


you don't get it. and you are part of the problem.
 Quoting: Salt


Or you don't and are part of the problem. It's hard to know what the real situation is in this case, but the lack of diagnosis is a sign of something going very wrong.

I can tel you that it's almost never right to bring the police in to strong arm a child. If you think that's the correct action set, then you should refrain from having children.

I don't mean that as an insult either. I think it's a very positive response if you think that force is the way to reach a child.

Can you beat and harass a child into doing what you want? Yes, you can. For a time. The stronger the child, the more they will rebel against that however.
andawg221

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12/17/2012 04:19 PM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am Jason Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness. Read all [link to www.huffingtonpost.com]
 Quoting: smilesun


excellent article, OP

5 stars for you.



i have two kids, both of them have mental illness. i provide an excellent home life for them both and there is nothing wrong with my parenting. My kids' brains are wired different. Runs rampant on their dad's side of the family. And all of us are good, healthy, loving families, who care deeply for our children. they aren't spoiled, neglected, abused, etc etc etc.

it's mental illness. it's gray matter matters.

while my older kid (extremely gifted and high IQ, ADD and meets some criterion for Aspergers) did not respond well to meds, as a result, i implemented diligent efforts to help make his life as successful as possible. it wasn't easy and consumed a good bit of our daily life.

my youngest is on meds. without them she is in torment. she has Oppositional Defiant, ADHD (severe), and also has an advanced and gifted intellect for her age. not only are the meds necessary for her sanity, without them she is miserable and quite frankly, it's like she's driven by a demon. we did not find the right one right away. and ALL of her med trials were done in medical setting. i also implement very stategic parenting style that empowers her in a healthy way and offers functionality and success in her daily life.

luckily, my daughter has medicine that actually helps her. without them, she behaves exactly like Michael from the article you posted. i have been thru everything she describes (prior to meds and therapy for her).

it isn't easy. people don't understand what life is like with kids with mental illness. most parents live with false judgments, scrutiny, etc etc. if a child doesn't behave "properly" it's always the mother's fault. "just spank them more" or "they are spoiled". I know, i've heard it all.

none of it is true. being the mother of special needs children means my job as a parent is double, maybe triple as challenging than in a standard home. any parent who has a child like this and doesn't put in the effort that it takes to care, nurture and teach their child, is not qualified to be a parent. and.... it takes a village.

my kids are gifted. kids like this need their gifts properly channeled and parents that are diligent, present, and steadfast. having special needs kids means you have to work much much harder as a parent. if a parent is not willing to put in the effort and the time then they will have kids who are tormented and fail in the societal structure.


i totally relate to this mother.

Thread: I am the parent of a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder/ADHD. There is relief for parent AND child.
 Quoting: Salt


So many parents can't raise "normal" children correctly nowadays.

So I applaud all that you do to make your kids life great. And honestly its probably 10 times harder than a "normal" child.
andawg221

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12/17/2012 04:29 PM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
a sick child is still a sweet and innocent beautiful perfectly created person.

if the child has diabetes, nobody goes nuts over insulin.

not all medicine is bad or evil.

what is evil is not finding the core issues and throwing lots of medication at something they don't first understand.

then... what makes it even more difficult is when the doctors understand the problem but don't know how to treat it.

giving medicine to a sick child is a loving thing.

any person that has a mentally ill family member, child or otherwise, that is prone to violent outbursts in the home, has guns laying around, is an idiot.


medicine is God's idea.
abusing medicine is not.
using medicine to discipline a child is not.
over medicating is not.

it is a tangled constellation of issues we face today.
 Quoting: Salt


This isn't just an autism problem either. Bi polar for example is almost always treated wrong!

An example is doctors always try antidepressants which only causes mania in the patient.

So now you've got huge irrational thinking, spending, fighting and much more. All because a doctor is pushing whichever company is paying for there drug to be used.

Notice doctors almost avoid xanax now? It's because they aren't being paid to push it like they used to, it works well for anxiety. So no need for that company to pay doctors to write it.
Shamar

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12/17/2012 04:38 PM

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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
I would like to put this out there, hopefully it will be taken with the intent with which it is posted. I think it is fascinating.......some of you may know I have had my own hell to deal with, so I don't take these issues lightly, nor out of ignorance.

This is an excerpt from an excellent book, written by Connie Huft, called: Know Thine Enemy; A Guide to Intelligent Deception

*


The human body is very complicated, a fantastic testament to the creative power of God. Having been fashioned from dirt, we are such an intricate structure, housing bone, flesh and organs. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). It is no wonder the Intelligent Deceiver (satan) has chosen the human body to wreak havoc on. When you are sick, diseased, crippled, whatever; this can be a direct attack from the enemy on the Temple of God.

One of the ways satan does this is by attempting to control your minds. Have you ever heard of the mind/body connection? Very basically, the mind is the hard drive; it is the motherboard that runs bodily functions. You can’t move your hand without first thinking a thought that you want to move your hand, then in split miliiseconds, a complex, chemical and nerve signal is sent out to the muscle fibres, bones and tissues in your hand telling it to exactly what you were thinking. Satan knows this system. In fact, he knows it better than any human or collective of humans alive today. The angels were watching creation (Job 38:4-7). He understands if he can control or suggest to your hard drive (the mind) a thought which requires action, it wants to follow God’s natural laws and function as it was told. God did not create the heavens and earth with action, He created them with words (Genesis 1). If the enemy can influence your thoughts, you eventually SPEAK your mind. In other words, your body will express that thought if you let it. Remember, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak ~ satan wants to be at the helm of your house. Jesus said as a man thinks, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. You can feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. What is God? The Eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life. What is love? To feel the presence of that One Life deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it. Therefore, all love is the love of God.

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die - and find that there is no death.
Shamar

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12/17/2012 04:39 PM

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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Here’s another analogy for how satan or the demonic can enter our bodies. Think of your mind as a sophisticated computer, complete with software, hardware, firewalls, virus scanners, garbage filters, etc. It has built into its very matrix a top-notch firewall system. Think of satan as a super smart hacker. He knows how to get past your firewalls and hack into your internal hardware, implant a virus that may or may not go undetected by your virus scanners. This is where your knowledge of the Word comes into play; without that as your virus scanner filter, you may be allowing a lie to be implanted deep within your internal brain structure which continues to eat away at your computer matrix (brain). This matrix controls all of your bodily functions. It takes orders from your spirit, but if your spirit has been deceived, it will get the wrong signals and then the body will act upon those signals (carnality, flesh).

The Bible continually tells us “the truth will set us free.” If truth sets us free, then conversely we can assess that we are being help captive by…. Lies. We have been hacked into, and lies have been implanted into our hard drives. We are dictated by lies, infiltrated and programmed by lies.

A quote from a Pastor Paul Scanlon: It is entirely possible to believe in God, but still belong to the devil in your thinking. And if God doesn’t have your thinking, He doesn’t have you. We believe with the heart, but we behave with the head! I can’t pray for your deliverance or your senses of worthlessness to go if deep down you don’t believe God loves you. What’s hurting you may not be what someone just said to you but what you’ve been saying to yourself for the past 20 years.

The bible is continually telling us to “renew our minds.” This means we need to run a virus scan program, write down all of the lies we have been believing and retelling ourselves for all of these years and then reprogram our minds with the Word of God. When you read all of the accounts of healing Jesus did in the NT, you will find two things happening: forgiveness of sin and restoration of health. In many of the instances you will also find a third element, casting out of an evil spirit; health, sanity and normality was restored.
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. You can feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. What is God? The Eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life. What is love? To feel the presence of that One Life deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it. Therefore, all love is the love of God.

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die - and find that there is no death.
Shamar

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12/17/2012 04:39 PM

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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
If you break down the human body from a purely simplistic, anatomical and physiological view, we are just a series of chemical processes. Thoughts equal chemical process. Like it or not, we area a chemical creation. Our bodies are like giant test tubes, whatever goes in creates a chemical reaction.

In his book A More Excellent Way, H. W. Wright says:

When satan can control your thought process, he can control your chemistry. When you have serotonin deficiencies (a chemical that controls mood and sensations of feeling good) you don’t feel good about yourself because there is a deficiency of that chemical that God created in you to make you feel good chemically. For every thought you have, conscious or unconscious, there is a nerve transmission, a secretion of a hormoe or neurotransmitter somewhere in your body to react to it. And when you start listening to that self-hatred, you start listening to that guilt, and you start listening to that rejection, your body is secreting chemicals in response to thos spiritual attacks that are counter productive to your peace.

One of the principal glands in the limic system is the hypothalamus. In fact this little gland is actually called the brain of endocrine system (hormones). What psychology calls the collective unconscious is in fact, the “spirit of man.” “The hypothalamus gland is the facilitator and the originator of the following life circumstances (the watchdog of the endocrine system): all expressions of fear, anxiety, stress, tension, panic, panic attacks, phobia, rage, anger and aggression. These are all released and facilitated by this one gland. It only responds to you emotionally and spiritually. The hypothalamus is a responder to thoughts.

Now lets compare the expression of the hypothalamus gland to the acts or the fruits of the sinful nature: sexual immorality, faction, impurity, envy, debauchery, drunkenness, idolatry, orgies, witchcraft, lust, hatred, evil desires, discord, greed, jealously, anger, fits of rage, malice, selfish ambition, slander, dissensions and deceit. Do you see how big your emotions are? Do you see that something anatomically and chemically controls these emotions? Could an intelligent, malicious being possibly know how to push our emotional buttons (working our hypothalamus), create sin, and cause disease or sickness in our body?

The limbric system is closely associated with the aspects of survival. Dr. Wright tells us: “When you do not feel loved, when you have been victimized (robbed, sexual abuse), when you don’t feel secure (lack of money) you fight for survival. When you have been rejected by a parent or by anyone else, when you do not feel loved, when you feel violated, you are always looking over your shoulder for the next hit – you are in fight or flight.

Healing of any malady should require a close, deep, inventory of yourself. Weasel out hidden sin, unforgiveness, rejection, past hurts, curses. Ask God to show you what you may have forgotten. Write a list of people you may be nursing a grudge against, no matter how small, and ask God to forgive you, and if possible, go the person and ask their forgiveness. It kicks satan in the butt.
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. You can feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. What is God? The Eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life. What is love? To feel the presence of that One Life deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it. Therefore, all love is the love of God.

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die - and find that there is no death.
Shamar

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12/17/2012 07:04 PM

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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Guess I need to join the "thread-killer" thread..........

sheep
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. You can feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. What is God? The Eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life. What is love? To feel the presence of that One Life deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it. Therefore, all love is the love of God.

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die - and find that there is no death.
Anonymous Coward
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12/18/2012 12:23 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
I would like to put this out there, hopefully it will be taken with the intent with which it is posted. I think it is fascinating.......some of you may know I have had my own hell to deal with, so I don't take these issues lightly, nor out of ignorance.

This is an excerpt from an excellent book, written by Connie Huft, called: Know Thine Enemy; A Guide to Intelligent Deception

*


The human body is very complicated, a fantastic testament to the creative power of God. Having been fashioned from dirt, we are such an intricate structure, housing bone, flesh and organs. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14). It is no wonder the Intelligent Deceiver (satan) has chosen the human body to wreak havoc on. When you are sick, diseased, crippled, whatever; this can be a direct attack from the enemy on the Temple of God.

One of the ways satan does this is by attempting to control your minds. Have you ever heard of the mind/body connection? Very basically, the mind is the hard drive; it is the motherboard that runs bodily functions. You can’t move your hand without first thinking a thought that you want to move your hand, then in split miliiseconds, a complex, chemical and nerve signal is sent out to the muscle fibres, bones and tissues in your hand telling it to exactly what you were thinking. Satan knows this system. In fact, he knows it better than any human or collective of humans alive today. The angels were watching creation (Job 38:4-7). He understands if he can control or suggest to your hard drive (the mind) a thought which requires action, it wants to follow God’s natural laws and function as it was told. God did not create the heavens and earth with action, He created them with words (Genesis 1). If the enemy can influence your thoughts, you eventually SPEAK your mind. In other words, your body will express that thought if you let it. Remember, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak ~ satan wants to be at the helm of your house. Jesus said as a man thinks, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).
 Quoting: Shamar


I agree with this theory, people are just 'sims' to satan (and to God, but he's mostly non interventionist).
Anonymous Coward
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12/18/2012 12:27 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
The woman who wrote this Huffpoo piece has now posted her son's pic (it's a family photo with the rest of the family blurred out, except for her and the kid). How is this not defamation? Outrageous intrusion on the kids privacy and ability to mix with peers when his mother not only writes (for money) a defamatory piece about him but on sells it to the Daily Mail with photos. Just checked recently and the Mail have removed the article. THis woman is completely irresponsible.
Anonymous Coward
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12/18/2012 02:13 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
I was going to give this one star, because it's from that douchy commie site. Refuse to give them revenue by clicking that link.

That being said, I decided to only deduct 1 star for the link and give 4 stars for the you-tube link, simulating schizophrenia.

Always assumed those voices were just internal dialogue. Like standing in line and asking yourself if you want a coke, a coffee, or water.

When I was suffering severe depression, it was the same as the video. You're worthless, you're stupid, just die, no one likes you, you'd be better dead, no one will miss you, forever and ever (and worse). That shit is debilitating. Go to bed listening to it, wake up listening to it, take a shower listening to it, live with it. It's similar to having an abusive spouse, in your mind, forever, that you cannot escape, except by giving in...

Then have people tell you to get over it, be judgmental because you seem sad, or not as outgoing as they are or whatever, it just compounds everything.

I've disempowered the voices, they some times echo through my thoughts, but I just laugh, as they hold no sway in my existence anymore. It's hard to believe the absolute grip they have on your reality, and even harder to believe I allowed them to destroy 15 years of my life.

I don't know if others with severe depression have the same experience, but I'd guess they do.

Finally for those people that don't understand, and want to belittle other sufferers by calling them lazy, or mopy, tell them to get over it, STFU, as you are the types that would crack and off yourself within 2 weeks if you ever had to deal with true depression. s226

bump
Anonymous Coward
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12/18/2012 02:41 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Mental institutions are being closed in droves. Privately run prisons are the norm. Psychiatry just this month changed their definitions of "crazy". What needs to be addressed is why there is so much "crazy" going on. It is worldwide. There seems to be a faulty wiring situation in which reality is not recognized however there are amazing genius and abilities but the socializing/conscience part of the brain has been gutted. What do these kids brains look like? After seeing Dr. Amen's shows on brain function and nutrition, I would love to see what research can be done on these kids. Maybe it would give some insight into what is physically wrong with the brains and what can be done to correct it, if possible. If not correctable, perhaps a place where the genius can be cultivated in a socially isolated environment where they cannot harm others or themselves.
LaniJane

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12/18/2012 02:47 AM

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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Salt, thank you for sharing your own story. It's a brave thing to do. My heart goes out to you and your children. hugs
"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." ~
George Carlin
Abalone~

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12/18/2012 02:55 AM

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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
I applaud her! She has changed the national dialog by speaking out. I freaking LOVE it!!!
The following is a public service announcement:
The above post is intended for entertainment purposes only & does not necessarily reflect the views of ^V^ management.
You may now return to your previously scheduled programming~
Anonymous Coward
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12/18/2012 03:02 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
She's a presstitute, it's all about raising her profile in a highly competitive field, ie money for her. For that she pimped her disabled son, who has done nothing wrong, except be the child of this creature. His name and photo are now public, how will he be treated by others, and how will this defamation affect his future working life?
Anonymous Coward
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12/18/2012 03:05 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Autism isn't a mental illness.
smilesun (OP)

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12/18/2012 04:28 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Guess I need to join the "thread-killer" thread..........

sheep
 Quoting: Shamar


"thread-killer"? Why?
MultiStrada

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12/18/2012 07:15 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Ok, I finally read it.

LOL

We've reached a point where we need to stop ignoring the boys, ok ladies. Think about it dammit.

We've also reached a point where it's time to not project your fears onto your kids, ok Moms. Don't get me wrong but I think we all need to look inward to find the root cause rather than an inanimate object.

hf
MultiStrada

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12/18/2012 07:16 AM
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bump
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2012 01:58 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
A statement from the article:

"With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill."


^This^

They need to reverse the current trend of closing mental hospitals...

Until they do,
1. the public continues to be in danger of incidents like this
2. the mentally ill are not getting the treatment they need
3. The jails are growing over crowded and becoming overwhelmed
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21643994


Or even more alarming ... here in Nebraska I have witnessed mentally ill people ending up housed in nursing homes with the elderly, since the state-run treatment center has been closed or downsized. Yikes!! Not a good mix!wtf
Anonymous Coward
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12/19/2012 02:12 AM
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Re: 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America
Honestly it sounds like the kid feels powerless, but isn't dangerous.

Notice, there was no talk about how he stabbed anyone and the woman was able to take a knife away from him. She doesn't sound like a ninja, so I'm thinking the kid gave it to her. (Try to take a knife from me. I promise I won't use any skill, I'll just swing it around like a madman. Yeah, it's possible, and yes, you just got cut 90% of the time...)

The problem, if that's the cause, is that the woman keeps taking power from the boy in ways that he feels damages him, so he tried to take it back, desperately snatching at more and more extreme things to prevent himself from being emasculated. When he starts to feel successful, doing anything that seems to be taking a small bit of power back from her, she calls in armed thugs (police) to do the work for her, further stripping his sense of sovereignty away.

The more they attack that, the harder he'll be forced to fight.

He might have a mental disorder (notice how no one can find one?), but, honestly, it sounds a bit like it's the mother that has the real problem and it isn't her child.

After all, she started an argument over pants. Pants. And turned it into an excuse to have the kid committed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 536850


She sure was quick with getting that article out, eh...

And wimpy consequences for his calling her a 'stupid bitch'...

But it can't be me whos screwy it HAS to be the kid and society.

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