I have to admit that I am always happy. It is just who I am. Things can bring me to tears and hurt my heart. The slaughter of the innocents hurts me inside. I feel the pain of those parents. I allow the pain to bring up the tears then I allow myself to heal and move on. I am after all a bystander. For this I am grateful.

The second night it happened I went outside and stood under a clear sky. It was cloudy all around but a large portion just over my home was clear.

I stood there in the darkness and asked the universal source for peace in my heart. They say help is there if you ask for it...and I asked for it. I held my arms up in the darkness and asked for change in my soul and peace in my heart. I felt the changes in my heart. I felt a smile and I felt the peace come over me. I actually felt lighter.

I slept very well for the first time in days. I awoke to rain and a very light heart. I did not think about the end anymore with trepidation. I now have a real feeling of "everything will be all right." It was a feeling I awoke with once after a NDE.

Everything is going to be OK. I am still happy inside. There is a sigh of relief sort of feeling that accompanies the happiness. Whatever happens in the next days or months, whether I live or die, get air-lifted by aliens or ascend to a new earth...it will all be ok. There is no real death of the soul...just a changing back into something we have always been. The minute we get out of this body it is like Wow! Let's go.

I for one am ready to go. You all will be happy again.