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Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30110945
Australia
12/17/2012 03:34 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Feel I should use up all this karma stuff before leaving GLP.

Anyone want an upgrade, best joke wins :)
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


why you leaving?

please explain
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


fine....then don't tell me you cunt.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:35 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There are 3 apples on a table. Jamal takes 2. What color is Jamal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


laugh
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:36 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Feel I should use up all this karma stuff before leaving GLP.

Anyone want an upgrade, best joke wins :)
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


why you leaving?

please explain
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


fine....then don't tell me you cunt.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


Why do you care?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27250682
United States
12/17/2012 03:37 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There are 3 apples on a table. Jamal takes 2. What color is Jamal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


laugh
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


haha for some people don't even get it :P
Who is Blue Fairy

User ID: 26124006
United States
12/17/2012 03:37 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Hey, you can't leave all of us here by ourselves! We need you muscle men in your knight suits.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30110945
Australia
12/17/2012 03:37 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Feel I should use up all this karma stuff before leaving GLP.

Anyone want an upgrade, best joke wins :)
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


why you leaving?

please explain
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


fine....then don't tell me you cunt.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


Why do you care?
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


well you're part of the furniture aint ya.
Dapurps

User ID: 26604792
Canada
12/17/2012 03:38 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There are 3 apples on a table. Jamal takes 2. What color is Jamal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


laugh
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


haha for some people don't even get it :P
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


greedy
"What you perceive to be becomes your reality."

:ftwpanda:

dapurps
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:40 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
...


why you leaving?

please explain
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


fine....then don't tell me you cunt.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


Why do you care?
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


well you're part of the furniture aint ya.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30110945


sure feels like it sometimes :)
HI.Lander

User ID: 28896397
United States
12/17/2012 03:40 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There are 3 apples on a table. Jamal takes 2. What color is Jamal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at this?

chuckle
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -- Marcus Aurelius

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29775224
Romania
12/17/2012 03:40 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
World leaders are saying that Romania is 50 years back then other countries, So the doom here will be after 50 y...:)come here.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27250682
United States
12/17/2012 03:41 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There are 3 apples on a table. Jamal takes 2. What color is Jamal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at this?

chuckle
 Quoting: HI.Lander


Hahahahahahahaha no it's not...I think I'll make an entire thread regarding the topic
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:41 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There are 3 apples on a table. Jamal takes 2. What color is Jamal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at this?

chuckle
 Quoting: HI.Lander


its quite clever, Jamal is clearly the same color as the table thats why they didn't see him right??


cruise

question is what color is the table?
Dapurps

User ID: 26604792
Canada
12/17/2012 03:44 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There are 3 apples on a table. Jamal takes 2. What color is Jamal?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27250682


Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at this?

chuckle
 Quoting: HI.Lander


its quite clever, Jamal is clearly the same color as the table thats why they didn't see him right??


cruise

question is what color is the table?
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


Just turn the lights off and tell Jamal to smile. If all you see is his teeth we have an answer. Oh god im going to hell ahah
"What you perceive to be becomes your reality."

:ftwpanda:

dapurps
2be0rnot2be

User ID: 29651776
United States
12/17/2012 03:45 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
101icu
Nyarlathotep

User ID: 20053617
United States
12/17/2012 03:45 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
OOO! I definitely could use an Upgrade :)

Okay Here:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:45 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
No need to rush guys I will be picking the winner tonight (US time) tomorrow NZ time.

as long as bad karma rangers don't ruin it.
Smashy76

User ID: 28768606
Canada
12/17/2012 03:46 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Joke- What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

Punchline- A pimple will only come on your face AFTER you're 13!!!


Joke- A Mexican and an Afro American are in a car. Who's driving?

Punchline- Cops!


Joke- How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Punchline- Wana go for a bike ride?

Joke- What's the difference between Jesus and a Picture of Jesus?


Punchline- It only takes ONE nail to hang to the picture..


Every time I make racist jokes, I feel bad. I really shouldn't cause when I was growing up, my best friend was black...
Then my dad sold him!

If anyone's offended, read my signature.. I hate everyone equally. But truth be known, I look at racist jokes, as an equality and something that isn't really racist. Why? cause I don't treat any race other than my own any differently. Everyone and every culture is a target.. It's all in jokes bad taste or not..Don't take it personally
I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally.

I'd rather be judged by 12, then carried by 6.
Dapurps

User ID: 26604792
Canada
12/17/2012 03:46 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
 Quoting: 2be0rnot2be


laugh Im saving this.
"What you perceive to be becomes your reality."

:ftwpanda:

dapurps
Dr. AculaModerator
Forum Moderator

User ID: 80172
United States
12/17/2012 03:47 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]

that person wants the ability to upload custom avatars so they can get a Santa Hat
"My religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me. ... That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave." - General Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:47 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
 Quoting: 2be0rnot2be


rofl

So Nortons anti-virus is an abortionist?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:47 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]

that person wants the ability to upload custom avatars so they can get a Santa Hat
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


Then he(I assume he because its the internet) better be funny :)
Dapurps

User ID: 26604792
Canada
12/17/2012 03:48 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Milk Milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made.

Okay im going to bed. peace
"What you perceive to be becomes your reality."

:ftwpanda:

dapurps
Smashy76

User ID: 28768606
Canada
12/17/2012 03:49 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
one more..........



Why can't Stevie Wonder read?

Typically people say "Cause he's Blind!!"


Then I respond with.. NO! its cause he's Black!


hiding
I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally.

I'd rather be judged by 12, then carried by 6.
Smashy76

User ID: 28768606
Canada
12/17/2012 03:49 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
one more..........



Why can't Stevie Wonder read?

Typically people say "Cause he's Blind!!"


Then I respond with.. NO! its cause he's Black!


hiding
I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally.

I'd rather be judged by 12, then carried by 6.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29125921
New Zealand
12/17/2012 03:49 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Joke- How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Punchline- Wana go for a bike ride?

 Quoting: Smashy76


laugh

new leader :)
Dr. AculaModerator
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User ID: 80172
United States
12/17/2012 03:50 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
[link to www.godlikeproductions.com]

that person wants the ability to upload custom avatars so they can get a Santa Hat
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


Then he(I assume he because its the internet) better be funny :)
 Quoting: Doommincus Maximus


lol

i dont know them


but i'll tell a joke on their behalf


If I win... they get they get the prize? lol

"A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as fuck didn't!" "


Last Edited by Dr. Acula on 12/17/2012 03:51 AM
"My religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me. ... That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave." - General Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson
notinfallible

User ID: 30106402
United States
12/17/2012 03:50 AM

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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
A man walks past girl with no arms or legs sitting by a pool. The girl says to the man, "Excuse me sir, I've never been fucked and in my condition no one would want to fuck me. Will you please fuck me?" So the man kicks her into the pool and says, "There, you're fucked."
To be upset over what you don't have, is to waste what you do have...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5755635
United States
12/17/2012 03:50 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
Nasa spent millions of $'s developing a pen that could write in 0 gravity for use in space. The Russian's just used a pensile.
Dapurps

User ID: 26604792
Canada
12/17/2012 03:51 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

Not everyone's been in a 747!
"What you perceive to be becomes your reality."

:ftwpanda:

dapurps
Dapurps

User ID: 26604792
Canada
12/17/2012 03:54 AM
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Re: Anyone want a free upgrade? Best joke wins!! - Winner = notinfallible
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
"What you perceive to be becomes your reality."

:ftwpanda:

dapurps

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