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OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!

 
Minnie Kitty

User ID: 30254061
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12/19/2012 03:28 PM

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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
i have a buddy
her & her husband sign onto amazon & write wacky reviews for products

this may be them
GooliaJulia

User ID: 12655659
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12/19/2012 03:30 PM

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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
lmao

"While on a my way to yet another tedious Board of Directors meeting in my demanding position as Chairperson of the Board. I realized I had left my Montegrappa Teatro La Fenice pen, (the one that I used to use to sign all of those phenomenally lucrative government contracts) back on my Gulfstream IV! My amazing assistant quickly came to the rescue. She jumped into the car and instructed the driver to rush to the nearest store. She later told me that as she tore through the aisles desperate to find a suitable writing instrument, the "BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen" seemed to call out to her personally its singular, pastel siren song.

Returning to the board room, she handed me the BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen. In front of our 1327 attending stockholders I impatiently grasped the instrument. Finally, I could sign the 143 page legal document and get back in the air on my way to the luxe charity gala I would be attending that night in Gstaad. As I took the pen in hand, I was immediately mesmerized by the soft, delicately feminine lines of the sensuously glistening shaft of this pen. Awakened by the Bic pens' alluringly pale blush of color I felt an involuntary catch in my breath. This was so unlike the bulky 18k rollerball I had up until then thought le plus ultra! When I touched the Bic pen to paper, the thick, silky ink flowed out of the pen like a sudden rush of champagne into a crystal flute on a moonlit night. The feeling of writing with this tool was so powerful, I was forced to close my eyes and faintly gasp in a shudder of ultimate pleasure. The unexpected release of female emotions almost made me weep. When I finally came out of my reverie, opened my eyes and lit that cigarette, everything in my world had inexplicably changed.

That was six years ago. Today I live on a quiet little farm on a cul de sac in Minnesota with my husband Al. We have four strapping sons (Gunnnarr, Mackx, And'rew,& Cohdee) and one beautiful daughter, Pheebie-Jaiyne. I spend my womanly days at home raising the children, tending the house, cooking up scrumptious meals for my family, inventing fun macaroni craft projects for the kids and thinking up new ways to please my handsome hubby. My BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen is of course always by my side.

When my daughter reaches puberty, along with a slap across the face to remind her of the pain of being a woman, she will receive her first BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen. What better gift could I give her on her path to true femininity?

Bic....I owe you! Because of your design and marketing team and the resulting colored plastic writing clichés, I now live the life that every woman never knew she dreamed of!

My assistant? Oh! She married one of the farm hands and works for us 5 days a week as our housekeeper. We are all so very happy! THANK YOU BIC!"
 Quoting: SecondPrecession



That one is hilarious!!
Sheep the moon
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10777137
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12/19/2012 03:31 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Thank you for this, tis hilarious :)
 Quoting: Bea Nameless


You're gonna go blind sitting that close to the screen!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25368284
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12/19/2012 03:35 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
I like this one:

"There I was, standing, barefoot in my kitchen - surrounded by my woman tools.

I had my pink measuring tape, my floral handled screwdriver and my lady hammer. You know, the one with the unicorn beads dangling from the end...

Still, I was stuck.

I needed to make a mark on the wall so I could hang my brand new hearts and kittens poster but when I looked around, all I could see were man pens. Long ones, short ones, thick ones... no matter the size, my dainty girl hands just couldn't hold them. I was screwed.

Luckily, my neighbor happened by to borrow some sugar. As she started out the door, I noticed something sleek and pastel colored sticking out of her apron pocket.

It was a Bic for Her pen!!!

The day was saved. I made my mark on the wall and was able to copy down my neighbor's secret cookie recipe without dropping the pen! As soon as my neighbor left, I went online and ordered several packages of my own.

The only thing that would make this product better is if it smelled like lilac bushes. Or chardonnay. Either way.

Well played Bic. Well played."
Apple Ugly

User ID: 20723329
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12/19/2012 03:38 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
I have a feeling that most of those quotes were paid for by the company.
tandym

User ID: 1667343
United States
12/19/2012 04:03 PM

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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
then there's this one post



"I haven't had a girlfriend for a few years now. I consider myself 'between relationships' when people ask, but the truth is I just have a hard time trusting women. They're always wanting a guy to pay for everything and take them on dates and stuff even tho they KNO guys aren't into that kinda stuff. So it seems kinda unequality to me, when i think about it. On top of that we're stuposed to do all the hard work and they just put dishes in the dishwasher n stuff.

So when i heard of this pen and read how feminine it is, i KNOW i had to have one! i immediately ordred the six pack because A) I like six packs! (in my fridge at least) and B) because 6 women is better than ONE any day!!!

So the pens arrived and i found them just as sensual and curvaceous as promised! i prefer the 'Caucasian Labia' colored one, as well as them Avatar Labia colors in the pack. The orange one is a little suspiciously too much like some ethnic type, so i don't use that one.

Anyway-- i'm here to say: guys, these pens aren't just for women-- they're for guys who hate real women and can't afford a Real Doll! I already ordered the Bic for Her Fashion Retractable ball set of two, and am excitedly waiting the twins to arrive!! They're the most expensive girls offered by Bic, and I already named them Mila and Natalie! It's gonna be like having my own private Black Swan lesbo scene right in my house!"

OMG and the thing is you cant put down a comment unless you buy it! lmao
 Quoting: GooliaJulia


Erm. I am going to read this when I get home... not ... clicking ... at ... work....!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30346808
Ireland
12/19/2012 04:03 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
"When my daughter reaches puberty, along with a slap across the face to remind her of the pain of being a woman, she will receive her first BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen. What better gift could I give her on her path to true femininity?"


LMFAO!!!
geminilion
We need more cowbell!

User ID: 12895036
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12/19/2012 04:09 PM

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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
LOL, I've seen that. Here's the "Maxi Pad" letter, cracks me up every time I read it....enjoy!

[link to wendi-aarons.blogspot.com]
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Estella<3

User ID: 6571780
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12/19/2012 04:11 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
OMGosh!!!! I love those pens!!!eyebat
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
United States
12/19/2012 04:20 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
omfg this is the best thread ever. At first I didn't get it. You trying to sell me on bic pens? wtf? really? bic must really be struggling. lmfao. Then I saw the reviews and really was like wow that is hilarious. Love it. 5*
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21738912

[link to www.amazon.com]
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23660254
United States
12/19/2012 04:33 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
oh, chic humor

whistlehiding
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
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12/19/2012 04:49 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
I told you it is a secret just for women!

[link to www.amazon.com]
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
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12/19/2012 05:00 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
bump

5 stars!
PRICELESS!
 Quoting: littlemiracles


[link to www.amazon.com]

Last Edited by We Who Watch on 12/19/2012 05:07 PM
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
We Who Watch (OP)

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12/19/2012 05:23 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
omfg this is the best thread ever. At first I didn't get it. You trying to sell me on bic pens? wtf? really? bic must really be struggling. lmfao. Then I saw the reviews and really was like wow that is hilarious. Love it. 5*
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21738912

[link to www.amazon.com]
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
United States
12/19/2012 07:12 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Guys, no peeking!
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
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12/19/2012 07:29 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Don't continue unless you are emotionally strong! Clicking on the link below means that you agree that you have been warned!

"They won't make periods at the ends of sentences; it's a question mark or exclamation point every time, also dotted with hearts--SUPER annoying."

[link to www.amazon.com]
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30372386
Canada
12/19/2012 09:21 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Pastel Colored Bic pens gets a 3 page thread?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14446368
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12/19/2012 09:21 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Look at the customer images. lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9977516
Australia
12/19/2012 09:30 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
A joke five star review is one thing, but a one star review that you don't mean is actually libelous. (Technically, if it is meant to harm, so are the fake five stars)

Yeah.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 536850


In view of the theme of the thread, don't you mean LABIA-LOUS!
Children of the Atom

User ID: 20257839
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12/19/2012 09:34 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
LOL at this one:

"As a woman, I've spent my whole life pretty bummed out about the fact that I could never find a pen that matches the color of labia. So, when I heard that Bic had created a pen specifically to match my womanly form, for the first time in my life I became proud to have an infinite abyss shameful sin hole between my legs.

While the colors are great, this pen has A LOT of great features. My favorite might be the GPS Locator for my wandering uterus. Just one click and I can know exactly where that hysterical whore hole is in my body during the times that I am not pregnant."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17431247


cruise
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
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12/19/2012 10:10 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Pastel Colored Bic pens gets a 3 page thread?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30372386

er.... did you check out the comments?
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
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12/19/2012 10:54 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
It is some of the funniest chick-lit-satire I've seen on the 'net, all hiding in a secret Amazon comment thread!

rofl
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28008747

[link to www.amazon.com]
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18121353
United States
12/19/2012 11:05 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
One review point they are missing: I need my own pen because I like it to be about me when guys draw on me.
Resonant Citizen
User ID: 913721
Netherlands
12/19/2012 11:31 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Hilarious stuff ... hahaha... I love it...

Thanks OP
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
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12/19/2012 11:31 PM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Thanks to all for sharing in the fun!
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
dschis1000

User ID: 19590683
United States
12/19/2012 11:42 PM

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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
LOL, I've seen that. Here's the "Maxi Pad" letter, cracks me up every time I read it....enjoy!

[link to wendi-aarons.blogspot.com]
 Quoting: geminilion


Sounds like a lot of women I know. Except she needs to add ninja on top of the inbred hillbilly
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1082682
United States
12/20/2012 12:11 AM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
The female sense of humor is totally beyond me. I can't relate to it on any level. Luckily, most women get my sense of humor, so it's kind of a one-way street.
BAD WOLF

User ID: 30099585
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12/20/2012 12:22 AM

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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
"If you identify as male do NOT use this product.

The "for her" label is not just a gimmick exploiting archaic gender constructs, it's a WARNING. Even if you're a boy who likes pastels and glitter (which really I don't see why you shouldn't, what kind of moron thinks that only girls would like that kind of thing? seems kind of backwards to me) this pen is NOT for you. I don't know why they didn't put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test.

I'm serious, guys, be careful, these really are just "for her"! BIC, please, recall this product until you've made the warning more explicit to avoid more tragedy!!! "


LOL cruise
"The human race. For such an intelligent lot you aren't half susceptible. Give anyone a chance to take control and you submit. Sometimes I think you like it. Easy life." - The Doctor
We Who Watch (OP)

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12/20/2012 12:24 AM
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smile
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.
We Who Watch (OP)

User ID: 30288742
United States
12/20/2012 12:40 AM
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Re: OMG! A Secret JUST For the Women of GLP! Warning! This May Cause Strong Emotions!
Hilarious!

I got lost in these for almost an hour!!!


.
 Quoting: Bluebird

I know! Women have a cool sense of humor!
7 Billion people on the planet!
That's a BIG number!
And I am one.

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