BREAKING NEWS! FANDANGO RANGER HAWK-02 HAS DECLARED AN ALERT! * I REPEAT STATE OF EMERGENCY *

We get pong from transponder 9. filters being applied. ground loops minimized (even in a drought). THE BIRD IS IN THE AIR. POCKET EMPTY. I REPEAT .... POCKET EMPTY.

Seriously, you guys are a bunch of fucking idiots. It almost makes me wish that this really were doomsday.

Thread: Sub station blew up in Annapolis...major power outage in area

FANDANGOS RIGHT AGAIN!

TO THE BACKSIDE!

THANKS FOR THE PRECIOUS INTEL CADET

No problem sir. we are re-allocating the solar panels. Boss says HAWK02 is up to something and we need to be ready to encounter a wake up call where the sun is shining now.

Dem fandango rangers. Right again.

COPY CADET. MAINTAIN POSITION

recent telemetry readings indicate increases in solar flare and geomagnetic disturbance frequencies. Plate shifts may be experienced nearer to poles in most areas. Please notify good ol Fandangos of any unexpected border breaches. Cousin Ted will stop by with pack of smokes and latest intel soon...

Ranger Pete reporting TR4 on the backside from Pismo Beach to Point Sal. Four passes on the bumper. Over.

This is not a DRILL. FANDANGOS BE BRAVE BE DARING BE VIGILANT

Mr. Poop I sure hope you were wearing your helmut when you were inputing those calculations this time.

FANDANGO CERTIFIED

Wait...the 21st is just about over. Tell me how I'm a shill and you're not an idiot.

FANDANGOS WHEN YOU NEED THEM FROM THE BACKSIDE, WE RESPOND!

AGENT OSLO CONFIRMS THAT OPERATION "MAYAN STORM" HAS, IN FACT, BEEN DEFERRED TO DECEMBER 23, 5:54:16 PM EST. ALL AVAILABLE RANGERS ON STATION SHOULD PREPARE BOTTLE OPENER MECHANISMS AND HAVE HAND ON THE LEVER. DEPLOY VACU-CHARGES WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE, AND MAY UNCLE AL SMILE IPON YOUR EFFORTS.

COPY CADET.

PICKING UP SOME STATIC ON THE TRANSPORTER

HELP ME FANDANGO RANGERS!!! CODE RED SITUATION, WHILE "TIN FOILING" MY FANDANGO RANGER BASEMENT HQ I LOST MY SPIDEY GRIP AND FELL. I LANDED ASS-SIDE DOWN ON MY FANDANGO RANGER FLASHLIGHT, IT IS JAMMED IN THERE REAL TIGHT. WHAT SHOULD I DO? CAN YOU SEND HELP?

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. BRING IN THE MAN OF VALOR!

SITREP?

Fandango's is an exclusive homosexual survivalist club. Part of membership is to spread awareness but discretely on websites such as GLP. If you read closely and between the lines you will see the metaphoric symbolisms of their nature.

you're late. The best you can do is panic masturbation.

Oh you kids... Laugh it up. Make the Rangers the butt of your joke.

Anyone can claim to be a Fandango Ranger. But until you've been on the backside, seen some shit, and saved some asses you're just a MORAN.

It doesn't matter. In the end, them ol' Fandango Rangers will still save your ass.

CORRECT AND COPIED. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HOW MUCH WIN IS IN YOUR LIFE DUE TO THEM OL' FANDANGO RANGERS.

are you guys superheros?