Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,613 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 1,405,669
Pageviews Today: 1,816,771Threads Today: 337Posts Today: 6,902
12:22 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 12:36 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
My Granny is 91 years old and quite active for her age and I help her out a lot, fixing things and stuff like that.

She offers me cooked breakfasts and sandwiches as I'm doing the work but I can't eat them and I'm always pretending I've eaten or I have a bad stomach.

The reason for this is, she absolutely stinks of strong ammonia , nose burning piss and it makes me gag.

I want to let her know that she reeks but I can't find the right words to tell her.

Any advice would be welcome because I can't keep refusing her meals and sandwiches as it hurts her feelings.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24532632
United States
12/22/2012 12:39 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
It's time eat alot of beans and fart alot. Makes a good topic while you eat her cooking. lmao
Shoot straight Johnny

User ID: 29552936
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 12:40 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
wurz
union

The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21689021
12/22/2012 12:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
She might be paying prostitutes to piss on her, leave her too it.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 12:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
It's time eat alot of beans and fart alot. Makes a good topic while you eat her cooking. lmao
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24532632

afroafro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30644905
United States
12/22/2012 12:42 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Wring out her Depends...
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 12:42 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
:wurz:
 Quoting: Shoot straight Johnny
She actually looks a bit like a female version of Worzel.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 12:43 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
She might be paying prostitutes to piss on her, leave her too it.
 Quoting: SheldonCooper

I never thought of that...but she seems so straight and sensible, even though she looks like a bag lady.
She even ghosts past me in her quiet slippers and I rarely hear her.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 12:45 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Wring out her Depends...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30644905

She won;t wear them. She said she likes to feel natural and usually just sticks a face towel in her gusset.

I remember my girlfriend once kissed me and asked if I'd washed my face in a sink full of piss. wtf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29301466
United States
12/22/2012 12:47 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Mail her an anonymous letter.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26448516
12/22/2012 12:47 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Offer to bath her....
Jefiner

User ID: 9437988
United States
12/22/2012 12:47 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
It's probably a hygiene issue, but she may have a urinary tract infection--which can be deadly. Get her into the clinic to get checked out.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 12:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Mail her an anonymous letter.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29301466

I tried that...this is what I wrote.

Dear Florence,
You smell a bit whiffy_infact, you stink of piss to be quite Frank and I implore you to get a wash and pay particular attention to your dribbly bits.

Lots of love, your neighbour, Dolly Cussins.


This was my big mistake because Granny was livid and walked out of the house with her cardigan sleeves rolled up.

The next thing I knew, she was rolling about in the street with Dolly, pulling at each others wispy hair and launching punches into each others face.

I went to drag them apart but the piss smell was so severe, that I fainted and cracked my head on the road and was rushed to hospital.

When I awoke from my coma, I found out that Granny and Dolly were up at court and were both fined almost 2 weeks pension money, each and now they won't speak to each other.

All because of me.
Water Flower

User ID: 30362261
United States
12/22/2012 01:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
After you have told her, you must realize that this happens to a lot of elderly people. You'll just have to be more vigilant in washing her clothing and possibly letting it soak prior to cleaning. It's also possible that some of the clothing will smell regardless and it will need to be trashed and replaced. Natural fiber clothing such as cotton are easiest to clean - unlike polyester that tends to smell clean for a moment and then it reeks right away. There are some people who won't clean after themselves as they age. It's natural and that's why they need help -as if they were children again. Good luck op.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30553351
Canada
12/22/2012 01:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
tell her she is such a great granny that you bought two tickets to the water slides !!!!!!!!!!!!

make sure she stay's in the water at least 8 hoursthumbs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30462411
United States
12/22/2012 01:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
My Granny is 91 years old and quite active for her age and I help her out a lot, fixing things and stuff like that.

She offers me cooked breakfasts and sandwiches as I'm doing the work but I can't eat them and I'm always pretending I've eaten or I have a bad stomach.

The reason for this is, she absolutely stinks of strong ammonia , nose burning piss and it makes me gag.

I want to let her know that she reeks but I can't find the right words to tell her.

Any advice would be welcome because I can't keep refusing her meals and sandwiches as it hurts her feelings.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028


Take her to the airport every morning and let the TSA change her. They will rifle through her diapers then they will be obligated to replace the soggy bottom with a fresh pair.

Maybe she will even find the process enjoyable herself.
aquamah

User ID: 27037813
United Arab Emirates
12/22/2012 01:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
angryface
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30645546
United States
12/22/2012 01:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
55 gallon of old lady perfume.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 01:23 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
After you have told her, you must realize that this happens to a lot of elderly people. You'll just have to be more vigilant in washing her clothing and possibly letting it soak prior to cleaning. It's also possible that some of the clothing will smell regardless and it will need to be trashed and replaced. Natural fiber clothing such as cotton are easiest to clean - unlike polyester that tends to smell clean for a moment and then it reeks right away. There are some people who won't clean after themselves as they age. It's natural and that's why they need help -as if they were children again. Good luck op.
 Quoting: Water Flower

The thing is, she's very intelligent but doesn't look it, as she looks like an old bag lady, she still has all her own tooth.

I took her shopping for a full clothing rig out(all plastic) but she said she felt uncomfortable in them and when she dribbled, it went up her back and everywhere.

She's a good cook and I would eat her food, if she washed her hands, but she doesn't and says, "when I was a child, we played in mud and urine and horse poo and it was good for the immune system."

I can understand what she's saying, it's just that I can't stand the thought of Granny hairs and urine in my sandwiches.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13025083
United States
12/22/2012 01:46 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
you g-ma may not even know because once youve smelled for awhil your nose gets used to it and you cant smell it at all, I wiuld just tell here because I consider a person that tells me if I have a buger hanging out my nose way more of a friend then a person that dosent tell you and lets you walk around with a bugr hanging out your nose
My Granny is 91 years old and quite active for her age and I help her out a lot, fixing things and stuff like that.

She offers me cooked breakfasts and sandwiches as I'm doing the work but I can't eat them and I'm always pretending I've eaten or I have a bad stomach.

The reason for this is, she absolutely stinks of strong ammonia , nose burning piss and it makes me gag.

I want to let her know that she reeks but I can't find the right words to tell her.

Any advice would be welcome because I can't keep refusing her meals and sandwiches as it hurts her feelings.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13025083
United States
12/22/2012 01:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
ahaha are you serius thats funny
Mail her an anonymous letter.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29301466

I tried that...this is what I wrote.

Dear Florence,
You smell a bit whiffy_infact, you stink of piss to be quite Frank and I implore you to get a wash and pay particular attention to your dribbly bits.

Lots of love, your neighbour, Dolly Cussins.


This was my big mistake because Granny was livid and walked out of the house with her cardigan sleeves rolled up.

The next thing I knew, she was rolling about in the street with Dolly, pulling at each others wispy hair and launching punches into each others face.

I went to drag them apart but the piss smell was so severe, that I fainted and cracked my head on the road and was rushed to hospital.

When I awoke from my coma, I found out that Granny and Dolly were up at court and were both fined almost 2 weeks pension money, each and now they won't speak to each other.

All because of me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028
Useless Cookie Eater

User ID: 29696048
United States
12/22/2012 01:49 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Buy some of these and leave them on the kitchen table.
If she doesn't take the hint you need to then just tell her outright she has a hygiene problem.

[link to www.mountainside-medical.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13025083
United States
12/22/2012 01:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
You 91 old gma make you breakfast and lunch and you dont even eat it!!? she 91 years old... she put all that effort into helping you, you need to man up, grow up
My Granny is 91 years old and quite active for her age and I help her out a lot, fixing things and stuff like that.

She offers me cooked breakfasts and sandwiches as I'm doing the work but I can't eat them and I'm always pretending I've eaten or I have a bad stomach.

The reason for this is, she absolutely stinks of strong ammonia , nose burning piss and it makes me gag.

I want to let her know that she reeks but I can't find the right words to tell her.

Any advice would be welcome because I can't keep refusing her meals and sandwiches as it hurts her feelings.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30648116
12/22/2012 01:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Fuck off.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13025083
United States
12/22/2012 01:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
just ell her you dont want to eat them and stop haveing her work for nothing at 91
You 91 old gma make you breakfast and lunch and you dont even eat it!!? she 91 years old... she put all that effort into helping you, you need to man up, grow up
My Granny is 91 years old and quite active for her age and I help her out a lot, fixing things and stuff like that.

She offers me cooked breakfasts and sandwiches as I'm doing the work but I can't eat them and I'm always pretending I've eaten or I have a bad stomach.

The reason for this is, she absolutely stinks of strong ammonia , nose burning piss and it makes me gag.

I want to let her know that she reeks but I can't find the right words to tell her.

Any advice would be welcome because I can't keep refusing her meals and sandwiches as it hurts her feelings.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13025083
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30637602
Ireland
12/22/2012 01:54 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
More importantly - how does she tell you about your breath?
Lindalee

User ID: 28645452
United States
12/22/2012 01:56 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
tell her she is such a great granny that you bought two tickets to the water slides !!!!!!!!!!!!

make sure she stay's in the water at least 8 hoursthumbs
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30553351


1rof1
Circling the Sun @ 63,000 MPH
<3
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 02:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
tell her she is such a great granny that you bought two tickets to the water slides !!!!!!!!!!!!

make sure she stay's in the water at least 8 hoursthumbs
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30553351

She's always had a fear of water, ever since her friend, when they were young, nearly drowned in a lake.

I suppose I could dupe her and say it's just a slide. You know, sort of blind fold her and say, "it's ok Granny, it's just a slide", then when I get her up there, I can just give her a nudge.
Good idea this.afro
Shoot straight Johnny

User ID: 29552936
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 02:04 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
You could pick up a nearly new granny at a car boot sale. They are ten a penny there.
union

The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands.
MONSTER

User ID: 2122560
United States
12/22/2012 02:04 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
you should tell her, or it may start keeping you from going to see her. I am sure others avoid her with that strong of smell and if she cant figure it out by now then she should be told
KINGDOMS, NATIONS AND KINGS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT DOWN TO THEIR KNEES WITH ONE GLANCE FROM A WOMAN.

I WEAR MY SKIN OF ARMOR SO NO ONE CAN GET IN AND NO ONE CAN GET OUT.

HOW CAN I MOURN YOU, WHEN I HAVE NEVER LET YOU GO, monster 1991-2008 RIP
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 02:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
My Granny is 91 years old and quite active for her age and I help her out a lot, fixing things and stuff like that.

She offers me cooked breakfasts and sandwiches as I'm doing the work but I can't eat them and I'm always pretending I've eaten or I have a bad stomach.

The reason for this is, she absolutely stinks of strong ammonia , nose burning piss and it makes me gag.

I want to let her know that she reeks but I can't find the right words to tell her.

Any advice would be welcome because I can't keep refusing her meals and sandwiches as it hurts her feelings.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028


Take her to the airport every morning and let the TSA change her. They will rifle through her diapers then they will be obligated to replace the soggy bottom with a fresh pair.

Maybe she will even find the process enjoyable herself.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30462411
She won't ever use airports again, because she was humiliated by some passengers, who at first called in the air stewardesses, complaining that the plane toilet must have overflowed.

The air stewardesses looked in the toilets and said it was fine, then realised the smell was coming from Granny, so they walked her down the aisle but in doing so, told all the passengers that it was Granny who was stinking the plane out.

They then sprayed her with disinfectant of some sort, then made her spend the rest of the trip in a small compartment on her own.

News