Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?

It's time eat alot of beans and fart alot. Makes a good topic while you eat her cooking.

She might be paying prostitutes to piss on her, leave her too it.

Wring out her Depends...

She actually looks a bit like a female version of Worzel.

I never thought of that...but she seems so straight and sensible, even though she looks like a bag lady.
She even ghosts past me in her quiet slippers and I rarely hear her.

She won;t wear them. She said she likes to feel natural and usually just sticks a face towel in her gusset.

I remember my girlfriend once kissed me and asked if I'd washed my face in a sink full of piss.

Mail her an anonymous letter.

Offer to bath her....

It's probably a hygiene issue, but she may have a urinary tract infection--which can be deadly. Get her into the clinic to get checked out.

I tried that...this is what I wrote.

Dear Florence,
You smell a bit whiffy_infact, you stink of piss to be quite Frank and I implore you to get a wash and pay particular attention to your dribbly bits.

Lots of love, your neighbour, Dolly Cussins.


This was my big mistake because Granny was livid and walked out of the house with her cardigan sleeves rolled up.

The next thing I knew, she was rolling about in the street with Dolly, pulling at each others wispy hair and launching punches into each others face.

I went to drag them apart but the piss smell was so severe, that I fainted and cracked my head on the road and was rushed to hospital.

When I awoke from my coma, I found out that Granny and Dolly were up at court and were both fined almost 2 weeks pension money, each and now they won't speak to each other.

All because of me.

After you have told her, you must realize that this happens to a lot of elderly people. You'll just have to be more vigilant in washing her clothing and possibly letting it soak prior to cleaning. It's also possible that some of the clothing will smell regardless and it will need to be trashed and replaced. Natural fiber clothing such as cotton are easiest to clean - unlike polyester that tends to smell clean for a moment and then it reeks right away. There are some people who won't clean after themselves as they age. It's natural and that's why they need help -as if they were children again. Good luck op.

tell her she is such a great granny that you bought two tickets to the water slides !!!!!!!!!!!!

make sure she stay's in the water at least 8 hours

55 gallon of old lady perfume.

The thing is, she's very intelligent but doesn't look it, as she looks like an old bag lady, she still has all her own tooth.

I took her shopping for a full clothing rig out(all plastic) but she said she felt uncomfortable in them and when she dribbled, it went up her back and everywhere.

She's a good cook and I would eat her food, if she washed her hands, but she doesn't and says, "when I was a child, we played in mud and urine and horse poo and it was good for the immune system."

I can understand what she's saying, it's just that I can't stand the thought of Granny hairs and urine in my sandwiches.

you g-ma may not even know because once youve smelled for awhil your nose gets used to it and you cant smell it at all, I wiuld just tell here because I consider a person that tells me if I have a buger hanging out my nose way more of a friend then a person that dosent tell you and lets you walk around with a bugr hanging out your nose

ahaha are you serius thats funny

Buy some of these and leave them on the kitchen table.
If she doesn't take the hint you need to then just tell her outright she has a hygiene problem.

[link to www.mountainside-medical.com]

You 91 old gma make you breakfast and lunch and you dont even eat it!!? she 91 years old... she put all that effort into helping you, you need to man up, grow up

Fuck off.

just ell her you dont want to eat them and stop haveing her work for nothing at 91

More importantly - how does she tell you about your breath?

She's always had a fear of water, ever since her friend, when they were young, nearly drowned in a lake.

I suppose I could dupe her and say it's just a slide. You know, sort of blind fold her and say, "it's ok Granny, it's just a slide", then when I get her up there, I can just give her a nudge.
Good idea this.

You could pick up a nearly new granny at a car boot sale. They are ten a penny there.

you should tell her, or it may start keeping you from going to see her. I am sure others avoid her with that strong of smell and if she cant figure it out by now then she should be told

She won't ever use airports again, because she was humiliated by some passengers, who at first called in the air stewardesses, complaining that the plane toilet must have overflowed.

The air stewardesses looked in the toilets and said it was fine, then realised the smell was coming from Granny, so they walked her down the aisle but in doing so, told all the passengers that it was Granny who was stinking the plane out.

They then sprayed her with disinfectant of some sort, then made her spend the rest of the trip in a small compartment on her own.