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Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?

 
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 03:22 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
If you look at her floor closely, you'll see the splatter drops from her mobile dribbling.

I had a roommate who drank too much (booze) and she would leave piss tracks across the floor to her toilet.

It wasn't that she had a weak bladder so much as the fact she was so damn lazy and drunk, that getting up to pee was apparently a bothersome chore for her.

Because she was a filthy pig otherwise - her part of the house always had a loose drust of dust and dirt - so her dog would walk through it and leave little footprints all over the floors.

I did feel bad for her stupid little dog.
 Quoting: . 1610510
Did you beat her up?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 03:23 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
My Granny is 91 years old and quite active for her age and I help her out a lot, fixing things and stuff like that.

She offers me cooked breakfasts and sandwiches as I'm doing the work but I can't eat them and I'm always pretending I've eaten or I have a bad stomach.

The reason for this is, she absolutely stinks of strong ammonia , nose burning piss and it makes me gag.

I want to let her know that she reeks but I can't find the right words to tell her.

Any advice would be welcome because I can't keep refusing her meals and sandwiches as it hurts her feelings.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028


Shut up Jew, tired of your sick toilet humor. How do I know your a (fake) Jew? Because it's the mark of your people, going all the way back to your true ancestors, the Khazars.
 Quoting: Anon. 26930182
What are you doing reading it then?
.
User ID: 1610510
United States
12/22/2012 03:31 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
If you look at her floor closely, you'll see the splatter drops from her mobile dribbling.

I had a roommate who drank too much (booze) and she would leave piss tracks across the floor to her toilet.

It wasn't that she had a weak bladder so much as the fact she was so damn lazy and drunk, that getting up to pee was apparently a bothersome chore for her.

Because she was a filthy pig otherwise - her part of the house always had a loose drust of dust and dirt - so her dog would walk through it and leave little footprints all over the floors.

I did feel bad for her stupid little dog.
 Quoting: . 1610510
Did you beat her up?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028



No. I wanted to, but I got sick and moved out.

Her house, so I couldn't complain much, but I wasn't going to pay rent to live in such filth.

So..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29759427
United States
12/22/2012 03:40 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
This is great comedy, of the sophomoric type. If you know who Howard Stern is, you'd fit right in with his kind of humor. Juvenile, sure, but I'm still LOL. Especially the part where you say you wrote a fake letter that was disguised to look like it came from the neighbor, which caused her and your granny to get into a big fight.

Regrettably, parts of this routine are true in real life. But if not your life, than at least certain other people's.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 03:43 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
If you look at her floor closely, you'll see the splatter drops from her mobile dribbling.

I had a roommate who drank too much (booze) and she would leave piss tracks across the floor to her toilet.

It wasn't that she had a weak bladder so much as the fact she was so damn lazy and drunk, that getting up to pee was apparently a bothersome chore for her.

Because she was a filthy pig otherwise - her part of the house always had a loose drust of dust and dirt - so her dog would walk through it and leave little footprints all over the floors.

I did feel bad for her stupid little dog.
 Quoting: . 1610510
Did you beat her up?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028



No. I wanted to, but I got sick and moved out.

Her house, so I couldn't complain much, but I wasn't going to pay rent to live in such filth.

So..
 Quoting: . 1610510
I would have put some dog poo in her bed, see if she liked laying in it, or if she cleaned herself after laying in it.
If she didn't clean herself,then I would have put some pointed shoes on and kicked her right up the crack of her arse.
.
User ID: 1610510
United States
12/22/2012 03:46 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
I will probably see her again in late January, will seek appropriately pointy shoes for the occasion.


If you look at her floor closely, you'll see the splatter drops from her mobile dribbling.

I had a roommate who drank too much (booze) and she would leave piss tracks across the floor to her toilet.

It wasn't that she had a weak bladder so much as the fact she was so damn lazy and drunk, that getting up to pee was apparently a bothersome chore for her.

Because she was a filthy pig otherwise - her part of the house always had a loose drust of dust and dirt - so her dog would walk through it and leave little footprints all over the floors.

I did feel bad for her stupid little dog.
 Quoting: . 1610510
Did you beat her up?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028



No. I wanted to, but I got sick and moved out.

Her house, so I couldn't complain much, but I wasn't going to pay rent to live in such filth.

So..
 Quoting: . 1610510
I would have put some dog poo in her bed, see if she liked laying in it, or if she cleaned herself after laying in it.
If she didn't clean herself,then I would have put some pointed shoes on and kicked her right up the crack of her arse.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27476612
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 03:55 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Try dropping some hints such as spraying her with vinegar
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 03:58 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
This is great comedy, of the sophomoric type. If you know who Howard Stern is, you'd fit right in with his kind of humor. Juvenile, sure, but I'm still LOL. Especially the part where you say you wrote a fake letter that was disguised to look like it came from the neighbor, which caused her and your granny to get into a big fight.

Regrettably, parts of this routine are true in real life. But if not your life, than at least certain other people's.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29759427

She was at the bingo last year and she was waiting for 1 number for the jackpot.

Number 59.

The caller shouted, five and nine, fifty none and Granny jumped up and shouted "bingo".

As she jumped up, the stench of piss wafted around the hall and people started running out, eyes streaming and puking up as they ran.
They refused to pay Granny her jackpot winning, citing that she emptied the hall and lost them money.

Granny wasn't to be outdone though and went home and came back with a base ball bat.

She smashed up the bingo calling machine, smashed up the canteen and fractured 4 employees skulls who tried to take her down.

A few grannies who were sat near her, decided to jump up and get among the fracas and started smashing the full place up, joined by another group of grannies.

Police were called and managed to restore order after 24 grannies were cuffed and slung into police vans, including my Granny.

On the way to the police station, my Granny and one other Granny, started kicking the back doors of the police van , until they smashed it open.

11 of them rolled out of the back at speed and were scattered all over the road, yet all managed to get up and scarper, everywhere.

Even though they were all full of bruised and cracked hips, they toughed it out.

They were all caught the next morning though after a police raid, as all their names and faces were known at the bingo.

Three quarters of a million damages they done to the bingo hall and all because Granny wasn't paid her jackpot winnings of £200.

She was jailed for 13 years, along with some other Grannies, yet served just one day again and was released because her long ago ex boyfriend turned up at court and offered to pay the damages in full.

Little Ernie had never fallen out of love with Granny and thought by getting her off the charges and paying her debt, she would rekindle the love affair, even though she was 90 at the time and he was 96.

As soon as she walked free from court, Ernie held her hand and brought out a big diamond engagement ring and asked for her hand in marriage.

Granny just told him to fuck off and kicked him in the balls, but she did thank him for getting her off.

She's a strange on she is.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 03:59 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
I will probably see her again in late January, will seek appropriately pointy shoes for the occasion.


...
Did you beat her up?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028



No. I wanted to, but I got sick and moved out.

Her house, so I couldn't complain much, but I wasn't going to pay rent to live in such filth.

So..
 Quoting: . 1610510
I would have put some dog poo in her bed, see if she liked laying in it, or if she cleaned herself after laying in it.
If she didn't clean herself,then I would have put some pointed shoes on and kicked her right up the crack of her arse.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16766028

 Quoting: . 1610510
Hahahahaha.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24532632
United States
12/22/2012 04:03 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Offer to bath her....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26448516


pervert
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 16766028
United Kingdom
12/22/2012 04:04 PM
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Re: Granny reeks of piss. How do I tell her?
Try dropping some hints such as spraying her with vinegar
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27476612
I tried that too many times. I think it just keeps preserving her.afro

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