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Message Subject You want to know a secret truth? A relationship, a partner, a mate will not stop your suffering. Only you can do that...
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
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This is pretty much the same conclusion that I have arrived at in my life experience. We can seek relief from our fears & insecurities in the form of external validation from others - but it will only serve to temporarily mask those inner conflicts, not address them. When a relationship ends and the validation ends, do the fears & insecurities not resurface? If we allow our sense of self worth to be defined by a relationship, we run the risk of losing that sense of self when the relationship ceases to exist - which can happen through no doing of our own.

To actually address and eventually transcend our fears & insecurities we need to do the difficult inner work and build ourselves up from inside. Internal conflicts require internal solutions as external 'treatment' is illusory.

Good thread Fibonacci. Some will misinterpret your perspective but it's important that they acknowledge that relationships are not the issue at hand here - but our socially conditioned tendency to look outside of ourselves for the solutions to our inner ailments when they can only be addressed from within.

Unfortunately it seems we can only learn this lesson the hard way.

cool2
 
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