Growing up in this day and age.

I'm 20 years old, working a dead end job, no schooling past high school, and currently live with my parents. Typical "loser" stuff right? I currently have NO idea what I want to do, I am very philosophical, interested in the human mind and psychology, yet the only way to success with these is long hard years of schooling. I spend a lot of time on this site, and am very open to a lot of things and am starting to become very aware of the world around me and am seeing that everyone's focus around me is either school, job, or money. I hate this, I could go live on a lake with a girl I love in a small house and be the happiest man alive, yet society makes it so hard because money, power, success is what "really" matters.

All this thinking started about a year and half ago when I got into marijuana, I have recently quit for personal reasons but I do think that either marijuana has caused me to become very unmotivted or it has helped opened my eyes to the real world. The more I spend on this site the more I realize that society and humankind is pretty much slavery to the government or whoever runs this world. I am realizing the sandy hook tragedy was most likely staged or planned, I have always questioned 9/11 ever since it happened, but people talk about the Illuminati and the Elite yet there is no actual proof, there is nothing, so how do I not know that this is just some false belief all of us have so that we don't have to conform to the "normal society life" of just working all day being unhappy...My parents think I am starting to become brainwashed by this site, that all of this is fake, now most people here would say they aren't "awake" but really what is "awake." It's just hard for me to believe you know? It's starting to make me more depressed than I already am, my friends tell me to just go live life stop spending time on here and thinking that everything is a lie...my mom is realizing that Obama is probably evil and I even tried to show her the "truth" of the sandy hook massacre yet she blew it off still thinking that it was just some crazy kid...I'm also on Prozac and have taken it in the past and believe it or not I did feel that it helped me...but who knows this could have just been a "placebo" type effect...

I just don't know anymore and I feel very lost.