I think you may have reached what some might call the "creator" level.

ie you are in control, and no amount of prayer will help because you are beyond help.

You are free of the game and God in your world.

The Universe is waiting for you to be who you really want to be.

I am at the same place, minus the negative thoughts or bleak outlook.

For me I know I can turn the whole world around, but I have to get the girl.

And maybe you do too.

The world we live in, although mostly fake, responds to positive emotions, esp love.